Kootenai River in Northern Idaho.

Reflection
When I was younger I used to make endless lists of resolutions: I would lose weight, discover the secrets of popularity (I'm talking way younger), dress cuter, read classics, think good thoughts, write at least 3 pages a day in my journal, quit nail-biting, get over all my anxieties or phobias, learn 3 languages, walk on water, etc.

Now I like to resolve to gain 30 pounds, stay up late, drink more booze, smoke cigarettes and hang out with hookers.

I've never been hugely successful with either approach.

When I was younger it was hard for me to believe that people, or let's say, I, could change because it was so hard. I saw so many books, article and TV specials about people who made miraculous changes in their lives like getting over a lifetime fear of dogs by talking to a hypnotist for 15 minutes or losing 30 pounds in 3 months by taking a pill. It took me a long time not to be pissed that I never had such instant moments. Or maybe it took me a long time to realize that reality is completely irrelevant in marketing.

I still leave a space for miracles. There are incredible moments of grace, luck, timing, whatever, where things can change in an instant, but I let those be unexpected gifts and expect that change will be a process.

So when I take that time to reflect back on my year, or my life, I can see that there have been all sorts of changes that I would love to go back and tell my 20 year old self about so she wouldn't waste so much time worrying.

For example, and I've written about this before, I had half a lifetime of weight issues. There were years of my life where I couldn't imagine not worrying about my weight and what I was eating or not eating and how much exercise I would have to do and would my pants fit me tomorrow or the next day.

And I remember there was a distinct moment where I was in my backyard enjoying some sunshine and reading a book called: Nourishing Wisdom, by Marc David, and I *got* it. And things changed solidly from that day forward. But was it instant? By that time I had years of books, counseling, programs and journals under my belt and even after that day there were bumpy moments where I'd find myself standing in front of the cupboard with my arm up to the elbow in a box or bag of something and I'd think: "Oh no, this again?"

Another example is yoga. I kid you not yoga has changed my life. But I've been doing it consistently for going on 12 years. It didn't change me after the first class. And when I say changed my life it's not like I'm not magically calmer, saner and more youthful. I'm still crazy and anxious. It just doesn't bother me quite so much.

So here's to a quietly insane new year. Enjoy!

Power Trio

Today was day one of my big end of the year power trio. Today's my birthday, tomorrow is the last day of the year and the next is the first day of the year.

Today was excellent. I hung out with Bob this morning and found enough of a weather break to take a nice walk. This afternoon I worked on my writing project. I'm remembering what it was like to quit writing. When I'm in it, everything else is a non-priority. Creative fun but not good for my love of a well-ordered universe.

This evening we headed out to see Juno (sweet, funny) and had a fantastic dinner. We've just come home to eat cookies and open presents. More books! If I only read 40 books in 2008, I already have them all sitting on my shelf. (Not complaining, at all.)

Updated "to read" shelf photo to come, eventually.

I'm going to try to do 500 more words before bed.

This is from the river looking up toward Mom and Dad's place. They call this part of the place "the meadow." The shed thing is a small shelter that's good for shade in the summer if you're having a get together.

I had a bunch of ideas for a post earlier and now I'm drawing a blank. An uneventful day.

First Annual Christmas Berets Photo
Here we are with our Christmas berets on the Orleans bridge. You are looking downriver at the Klamath in the background. From left to right the back row is: Aunt Janet, Sinead, BG, Meredith holding Samwise, Me, Mom and Erin with the raspberry beret. In the front is Fernando, Josa, Geena and Noah. There were three photographers. That's why we're all looking in different directions.

Good trip. We were monitoring the weather and yesterday after breakfast noticed that things were going to go from bad to worse in the next 24 hours so we threw all our stuff in the car, kissed everyone goodbye and high-tailed out of there a day early. There were several dicey stretches, a bit slick on the pass and several bouts of heavy rain and/or very wet snow so it was a long drive. But the drive along 96 was gorgeous. The sun shone most of the way and the trees were dusted with snow and the river was fast and frothy.

We're glad to be home. We were enjoying puttering this morning. I went to refill my tea and noticed that it was snowing and I checked the forecast and they were predicted a bit of snow in the morning growing heavier all day. It looks like it's going to stay pretty wet but we both ran for the clothes we threw on the floor last night and dressed and zipped out to the grocery store so we wouldn't have to venture out in it later.

Now we've got a firelog going and hot drinks and plenty to eat. We can enjoy the day.

The Xmas Overlord
I first titled this the Xmas Overload -- but every time I looked at it I saw "overlord" and it seemed funny, so I changed it.

I knew I wanted a yoga class today and I decided that driving to downtown Portland on the Friday before Xmas at rush hour was stupid so I did a drop-in class at a studio I've never been to before this morning in Vancouver. It was fabulous. Exactly what I needed. Very focused on calming and centering.

Then I went to the bank, ran by Safeway for one critical item I needed and then stopped to top off the gas tank and arrived back home at noon, relieved that I was done with my errands for the day and could focus on my cooking project, wrapping, laundry, packing and so forth.

I went to start my cooking project and hey, I didn't have the item I bought at Safeway. I went to the market. Stood in line. Paid for my one thing. And then walked out of the store without it.

Yes. I did that.

So I had to get back in the car but as it turned out, not a total loss because when I arrived home (the first time) there was a message from my Mom asking me if I could pick up something at the store and as the message played I was thinking, "Not likely." So I returned to Safeway, proudly admitting that, I was the woman who came into the store for one item and left without it. (Yes, they were expecting me.) I got my Mom stuff and then I returned home at last.

I have some nice photos on the camera that I was hoping to download for today's post, but no. This is it. This is your Merry Christmas and good-bye post. I will be offline for several days. There is internet where I'm going but I prefer to retire from all computing while I'm there and read my books and look at recipes and hang out with family. Also, there are some weather issues along our way so think good thoughts for us for safe and trouble-free travel. I have fresh camera batteries, in case, to document everything, either way.

I wish you all the best possible Christmas ever. So far.

Here's A Dollar, Buy Yourself a Clue
Several weeks ago the yoga studio decided to lock the door while class was in session because there was too much noise from people going in and out, using the restroom, talking and basically being inconsiderate while class is going on. I was very unhappy with that idea because the way my schedule works I'm always there early and it's a nice, quiet place for me to wind down from the work day. When the weather is nice, there is no problem waiting outside but now it's cold and dark and usually raining.

The locked door policy didn't last long but now I feel some responsibility for keeping people quiet while the class before mine is in session.

Last night two elder ladies walked in. One was really ancient and slow moving and her entire vocabulary at this point in life, probably consists of, "Oh my." The other was a stout, poker-faced lady carrying a Christmas present and not even holding the door or helping the ancient one. They came blustering into the wait area of the studio last night talking away and heading straight into the area where class was going on.

"Shh! There's a class going on," I whispered and motioned for them to be quiet. Grump face continued obliviously on her way. I don't know why I didn't clue-in that they weren't there for yoga. I thought maybe they were friends with the teacher and bringing her a gift. I said, "Shh!" again and the lady looks at me and says, "Why?" So I repeated that there was a class going on and she says, still in normal speaking voice, "Oh. We're in the wrong place," and she crashes back out of there. They were going to the restaurant next door. I mean, that's understandable, right? Mistaking a yoga studio for a restaurant.

I really wanted to be un-Christmas-y and yell, "Dumbass!" at them when they left. But there was a class going on and I was trying to be considerate.

2007 Holiday Newsletter is Ready
I actually finished it at the beginning of the week and I still haven't sent out the word. I made paper copies and they sit in a folder on my desk. I'm chipping away at it. No holiday freaking out here. I'll jet off the URL to my email address book and get the mail ones out tomorrow night.

You can find the online version of the latest holiday newsletter here.

Yesterday I was at the bookstore picking up a couple of last minute things and I found about 5 things I wanted for myself. I wonder how many people end up buying stuff for themselves during the holiday shopping frenzy. I always find lots of things I want.

I resisted the urge yesterday, barely, because I already have a ton of books to read and since books are my favorite gift to receive it would be dumb to buy something that might appear next week wrapped in green Santa paper.

I need to do a quick inventory on my holiday booty and see if I have any last minute errands. I think it's all under control. I have a some wrapping to do and one gift thing that's a small project that I need to do. But I'm ready. Bring it on.

Clonk Clonk Bang Bang
I've mentioned that a new office building is going in on the block next to ours. Right now is the phase where huge steel beams two stories high are pounded into the ground around the perimeter. (I'm not a construction or engineering specialist and they might not be steel, beams or two stories high, I'm just explaining what it looks like from a non-pro point of view.)

This operation is happening on the opposite side of the building from my office and the noise is still unbearable. There is a machine that sounds like a giant pressure washer or a jackhammer of the gods sound that sometimes will vibrate the spoon in your coffee cup. Then there's another device that sounds like: "swish clonk, swish clonk." This goes on for maybe a half-hour at a time and then stops for a few minutes then starts up again from the time I come in the door in the morning. I don't notice what time it stops in the afternoon because by then my brain is leaking out my ears. If you are standing outside the building you can't hear a conversation with a person next to you.

How long does it take to build an office building? I have a sense this is just the beginning.

Holiday Blur
I've barely had time to pull up my socks today. I made 2 dozen tamales, processed 4 more pumpkins and I'm at about 80% on the holiday newsletter.

I tried something different this year and I'm doing one page at a time and doing the online page and then the for print page together. That way I have all the text and photos open at the same time. This probably sounds like crazy talk. Just trust me, I'm doing it in a more time-efficient way.

I keep seeing all the projects I haven't touched yet. Ah! Panic. At least the purchasing of goods part is finished.

This is a parking lot across the street from our building. This was taken at the end of October and already the daily rate has gone up again. The daily parking rate around my building has gone up something like 50% in the last couple of years.

Fixing Things
Our DVR has been on the fritz for eons. There would be times when you'd turn it on and if you chose a show you'd get a blank screen. You can phone Comcast and they do what I guess is the equivalent of a reboot and it would work again. But they advised us to swap it out when we could.

About 2 weeks ago the menu screen went wonky and it would be smudged black and dark green. You could just make out your show title and the show would play fine so again, I put off the swap.

Today I had time and since almost all my shows are on hiatus for the holidays or writers strike, the thing was cleaned out, I took it in. This is at least our 4th DVR. I always worry when people tell me they have a seasons worth of Show X that they're saving. I've lost a lot of shows. I watch and delete as soon as possible.

Going to Comcast is sort of like going to the DMV. The parking lot is poorly paved. There's a gadget when you walk in where you press a button depending on what you're doing there and it prints out a ticket with a letter and number. You sit around with the masses, waiting. Then an automated voice announces your number.

The employees are also like the DMV. They don't smile. They aren't friendly. Anything you might have done to anticipate what they need to make their life easier, say, previous paperwork, if they don't need it it's like you're trying to hand-off chicken guts or something. I'm sure they deal with moronic, frustrated people all day long. You'd think they'd appreciate a friendly face.

I got it home and all hooked up but there was no color. The online guide was worthless so I phoned for help and sorry, but I don't speak TV. I don't know a coaxial video output zebraphone from a deltawire fusebar high-def jiggiwonker. Turned out I had to take out the red, white and yellow things and then put the yellow thing in the green thing and put one red thing back. Hard to believe I didn't figure that out on my own.

And I got my dead presto-log from last week to light. I guess it needed a week to cure in the fireplace. Probably the Sunday paper and kindling I added to the mix helped.

Gum
I have chewed a lot of gum in my lifetime. My Mom hates gum. She was also a librarian. I don't know if these two things are related. There is nothing, with the possible exception of revealing she is really a man, that my Mom could do that would shock me more than if I saw her chewing gum.

I chewed a lot of gum when I wanted to eat less. I'm not sure if it worked.

Then I gave up gum for a long time and I got back into it when I discovered Glee Gum at Trader Joes. Not only is the gum "all natural," they sell "educational kits" for kids. I wish I could see the expression on my Mom's face when she reads this.

Glee gum is made with rainforest chicle, the way gum used to be made. I'm not really up-to-speed on the history of gum so I don't know how gum used to be made but I really like this gum. It chews with less squish (more bite?) and the flavor isn't too gnarly. (You can see why I would make a terrible food writer.)

I visited their website for the first time earlier this week and found out they have cinnamon and tangerine flavors, too. I had no idea and plan to buy a carton of each after the holidays.

At the Bus Stop with News of the World
Last month C-Tran did a major service change which included dismantling the 7th street transit center downtown and opening a new transit center at 99th street. We live almost exactly in the middle of these two locations.

The downtown transit center is now a series of bus stops and Bob has been dropping me off on his way to work and picking me up on his way home. That system has been working fine.

The 99th street transit center is a park and ride but I hadn't tried it yet since it seemed counter-productive to drive further away from my intended destination. Bob has finals and grading and whatever end of the quarter/year stuff college instructors have to do and could not pick me up this week so I decided to give the park and ride a try.

Turns out: it's fabulous. It only takes about 10 minutes from the house. Super easy access in and out. I don't have to get on the freeway or deal with any gnarly intersections. And the best part is that the bus is every 10 minutes in the morning AND in the evening.

This is the giant drawback about the other bus. In the afternoons it comes only every 25 minutes. At rush hour even.

Yesterday by luck, I was able to board my bus as I stepped out of the office. There were no freeway snafus and I made it door to door in 40 minutes. Unheard of. Another good thing about the park and ride is that my way home takes me by Target and Safeway, perfect for quick errands.

What Would You Do For A Klondike Bar?
There are certain foods I rarely buy because if they are in the house I will eat nothing else. Chips is one although we've had them around lately. Now that I've started this I'm drawing a complete blank. Generally I'm talking about certain junk foods that are delicious and also have that magic ingredient where you can't stop shoving it into your mouth.

Several weeks ago we were doing our thing wandering through the grocery aisles and filling our cart when I spotted something I'd never seen before. It was Klondike Bar flavors. There was Heath Bar, Caramel & Pretzel, and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. A bunch of yummy choices. (Klondike should be ashamed that Wikipedia is more informative on Klondike bars than their own site.)

I spied the Caramel & Pretzel and I did something that I do every once in awhile that I think is hilarious. I grabbed a pack and ran down the aisle waving it at Bob while hollering, "Dad! Can we get this?" This never gets old. Then he goes through the motion of looking at it and saying, "Sure. I don't care."

And this is funny because he does this to me now and then, asks me if it's okay to get something. And I say, "Dude, you have money, a car, you know where the store is. You can get whatever you want." It's like a holdover from childhood, asking for permission to get something you want at the grocery store.

When I showed him the Klondike Bars he sort-of made a face like, "Look what crazy things she finds."

I had to chuckle when I dug around the freezer to try one and two were already gone. The caramel and pretzel is in the chocolate coating and was really delicious. We tried the Reese's too. But I said we had to stop buying them because basically I was hoovering my dinner in two minutes then running to the freezer to get my dessert. Also there was some bickering in the form of "You already ate yours. These are mine."

Early Boat Face
Here's another 70's classic photo of me making my boat face. One of these days we're going to have a whole photo page of Pam Boat Face. I hate being on boats and make this pained face like I'm trying to be a good sport but all I really want is to not be on the boat.

Bob has the most classic Pam boat face photo series of all time. I've probably written about this before. We were on this tour with my Auntie in northern Germany and I think we took a ferry from somewhere in Denmark to somewhere in Germany. We got on the boat and entered this hot, cramped little room where people were eating fried foods and SMOKING. I'm making boat face right now just thinking about it. It was cold and windy and I think even raining and I said I'd be standing on the deck and that's where I remained for the entire ride. Bob has a photo of me jumping off the ferry and I look like I just won the lottery.

Last night I made gumbo which was fantastic but gave us both indigestion. I swear, we aren't far from the day when we both eat a few spoonfuls of broth before we go to bed because everything fancy seems to gurgle the innards in the night. I got up and had a little ginger tea and my stomach settled right away. Then I couldn't sleep for 3 hours and woke up every hour after that. I woke up feeling like I had a 3 star hangover with none of the fun to earn it.

I hung out with the Hobbit this afternoon while his Mom and Dad went to see The Golden Compass. When I got home I worked on my holiday newsletter which put me in a cranky mood. I'm still a C- on the Adobe skills. Also my firelog won't light. Do those go bad? Is that why it was only $16 a box? I really didn't want to spend my evening babysitting the firelog.

My First Bikini Shot: Watch My Traffic Skyrocket
This is me and my cousin Lisa tubing on the Klamath River in the 70's.

I decided tomorrow is going to be a no computer day. I actually have a ton of computer projects going but I need to give my neck, mouse arm and eyeballs a break.

Then I can get my Christmas stuff organized and maybe do some wrapping and list-checking.

Plus I have tons of cooking projects going although I decided to push the tamales back until next weekend. I'm making gumbo and I need to replenish my granola. I ran out of homemade granola and have been making do with store bought and yukola-dola. Too sweet and not close as yummy. I bought huge bags of nuts and raisins and oats and sadly, sweetened coconut because the only place I've ever seen unsweetened is Bob's Red Mill and we haven't managed to get out there yet and doesn't look like it is going to happen any time soon. I'm also baking cookies (right now) and I need to process the rest of the pumpkin. I also might throw in a loaf of bread.

An afternoon of kitchen and Christmas stuff sounds perfect about now.

This morning I did a major Trader Joe's run plus hit Freddie's and Target. And I did it all in less than 3 hours door-to-door. How come that isn't an Olympic sport? But I was on a tight schedule because I had to be at the theater for The Golden Compass at Noon. I love, love, love the books and I've been so excited about this movie. For fans it's a must see but if you've never heard of the books, I predict you'd be bored and confused. Too many characters and plots going on to easily translate into a movie. When you check out the cast list — it's amazing but most of those people have about 3 lines. It looks really cool and I loved the daemons and Iorek Byrnison is probably one of my top ten fictional characters of all time and the minute he showed up I was on the edge of my seat. I give it a solid 8 for fans.

There was a trailer for a Will Farrell movie with basketball in the 70's (?) that looks hilarious. WF movie trailers always seem to be funnier than the movies but I almost had tears coming out of my eyes for the trailer so I bet the movie is good. There was also a trailer for Speed Racer and by all rights I should be slathering over this and I think it looks stupid. Well, it looks interesting but in an eye-candy-video-game-crazy way not I-want-to-sit-and-watch-these-bright-twirling-colors way. The interactions between the characters look stupid. "I want to change the world with my car racing." Are you kidding me? I want to change the world with my pumpkin growing and I'm a speed demon in Trader Joe's. Where's my movie?

Why I Love Flickr
This was supposed to be my quick and easy post and it's taking me forever to gather URLs so I'm going to go with what I have.

The more time I spend with Flickr the more I love it. It's a great reference tool and a great place to get lost checking out photos of places I've been or places I want to go, or places I'd never go. (Aside: last night we watched the Iconoclasts with Jon Krakauer and Sean Penn and they talked a bit about Into Thin Air and I leaned over to Bob and said, "You know what I'm never going to do? Climb Mt. Everest.")


My Flickr photos are here and not terribly exciting. Mostly photos of pumpkins, dahlias, Orleans and Portland/Vancouver.

But here are some fun photos I've found lately.

I read an article about all the bald eagles in Homer, Alaska. Punched it into the Flickr search engine and fabulous eagle photos.

Awhile back I wrote a blog post the mentioned the neighborhood I lived in when I was a wee child. Just for kicks I put "Encino Village" into the Flickr search engine and found these.

This week I wanted to see if there were any photos of the interstate highway where it's shut down in Chehalis, about 80 miles north of here. The Oregonian has a photostream that is unbelievable. It goes way beyond the highway flooding. Amazing and heart-breaking photos of local storm damage and the people who are dealing with it.

My Dad was born in Hamburg, Germany and said there was flooding there not long ago. I found and subscribed to Hamburg Harbor group.

Also last week I saw a photo of a crane that fell over the Interstate in L.A. and found out that LA Fire Department has a photostream.

Now that you've looked at car wrecks, you can refresh your eyeballs with some photos from the Portland photostream. I subscribed to this for awhile and loved it because it was like a visual check on the city every day. But it's high volume and got to be too much.

The following quote is in today's New York Times Food Section, "Eating an entrée is too many bites of one thing, and it's boring." It is attributed to a chef in an article that argues that the entrée is on its way out as the centerpiece of an American restaurant meal.

This is so stupid I can't even form a response.

Style Tips for December
Before I get started, look what the person I've been married to for 11+ years wrote on his blog.

"Typically, my tastes are more towards hard bop than the free yangy stuff. In most circumstances, I'll pick out George Coleman and Harold Mabern before innovative saints like Ornette or Albert Ayler or even Rollins and Coltrane."

I don't even know what that means.

***

It's hard to feel good about how I look in winter.

My hair gets out in the damp and turns into Sideshow Bob. My skin isn't great to begin with but now it's washed-out gray and blemish-city. I had one of those giant volcanic under-the-skin red zits on my chin over the weekend that erupted under a mole which made the entire lower half of my face look like a potato. And not in a good way.

Then there's the holiday overeating and the giant layers of clothes so I feel like I'm waddling around like the Pillsbury Doughboy.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror the other day and thought, "Honey, you could pass for ten years older."

Soggy
This morning I woke up at 3am fretting about getting to work. Today is driving day.

We're in the middle of a wet and windy storm. I don't think it's stopped raining since Saturday and not the usual PACNW gray mist rain but plinking on the roof and forming a wading pool at the end of the driveway rain.

As I lay there in the dark, listening to the wind whip the rain against the window I tried to figure out the best strategy. My coat keeps my top dry but usually from the knees down I get at least a little damp and I didn't want to start my day with wet feet.

I thought maybe I'd wear jeans and old shoes and bring a separate bag with work pants and dry shoes and socks and then change when I got here.

Then I tried to imagine myself walking from the parking lot to the office in the dark and pouring rain carrying my purse and my lunch and my bag of dry clothes. I decided, screw it. My health, safety and convenience is worth $12 today. I parked in the building. I also have a giant package ready for mailing and wasn't sure how I was going to transport that so parking close today solved another problem.

In other news, the NaBloPoMo prize winner list went up.

I donated an Archie McPhee gift certificate and Bamboo Moon gets the prize.

And I won a prize, too. Watch me! No, watch me! donated some really cool stuff from her Café Press store.

Yay. Thanks again to Eden for organizing the event and all the people who participated and commented, etc.

Police motorcycles line up outside the courthouse.


The best advent calendar, ever.


Rain outside the office.

First Money For Fiction Writing Ever
I can't imagine actually putting this check in the bank. I like it sitting here. Of course it's already spent so I'm going to have to break down one of these days.

I never dealt with my technology issues. I'm bumbling along with the same hosting. Mostly I wasn't in the mood to deal with it plus it's paid for until June and I'm sure there's fine print somewhere about getting any money back. It would be like buying a new car because you didn't want to fix a flat tire. But I expect I will be in the market for a new host next year. Or the next time I'm mad at the current deal.

My beloved Tribe who sent me my absentee ballot on the Friday before the Monday it was due in the tribal office managed to send me a birthday card one full month before my birthday. Yay. Today Siskiyou and Humboldt counties. Tomorrow: the world.

Bob and I planned to go to Bob's Red Mill this morning because last time that was on the agenda I ended up being laid up with the Lindsay Lohan flu. This morning there were snowflakes. The weather report said the storm was here. We went back and forth and decided it was stupid to drive to the other end of town when the weather was acting up. I managed to avoid crossing the river again.

We've spent the entire day puttering around the house and I've been doing computer projects all day and my massage person would strangle me if she saw what I did to my neck today.

I pulled up a nice reminder of summer earlier this week and then had technology problems and swore at the webhosting but now I can make it work.

This post sounds like it was typed by a crazy person. Sorry.

I was going to do a NaBlo wrap up but I don't have much to say. I thought it was harder to discover new blogs and while I did have lots of new commenters, I didn't notice any uptick in traffic. I added about a dozen new blogs during October when I was checking out the groups on ning and I love them all and they're all staying for now.

North of the Columbia
I'm going to deal with my hosting later today and figured I'd better post now because if there's any sort of snafu who knows when I'll get this working again.

Yesterday one of my nerd news feeds said that The Golden Compass was going to be sneaking into theaters a week early and I could possibly see it today. I was lying in bed awake at 4:30a (because why would my body let me sleep-in on a day when I could?) and heard the newspaper thump on the front doorstep and the first thing I thought was: wonder what time Golden Compass is playing.

(Aside: I just pulled up the cast list on imdb.com and Ian McKellen plays the voice of Iorek Byrnison. Lord of the Rings. X-Men. Da Vinci Code. What hasn't this man been in?)

Turns out it's only on two screens and they are both on the other side of the river and on the outer reaches of town. After this week I dread the thought of getting into the car. I'm not even going to do a Trader Joe's run and my wine supply is dangerously low. Although I would do it for GC if it was the theater that's 5 minutes from here.

The Bitch and Whine Roll
I'm having a lot of despair about my transportation situation. On Tue/Wed, 3 out of four travel legs were bogged down by highway accidents. I get to stand in the dark and rain and wait for a bus. Then I get to be damp and sit on a bus forever. It's not even December, yet.

It's a sad state of affairs when the first thing I do when I get out of bed in the morning is run to the computer to check my powerball ticket to see whether I have to go to work.

Driving myself wouldn't help much although at this point it's starting to make sense again. I quit driving because parking is too expensive. If Bob picks me up and I'm a half hour late because of traffic so he goes into a restaurant and eats and drinks something while he waits, how are we saving money? Plus now both of us are inconvenienced.

The most obvious solution is either work closer to where I live or live closer to where I work. Neither are easy fixes for us at this point in our lives/careers.

Meanwhile, my webhosting upgrade whatever is still messed up and I can't get my email the usual way but I did finally figure out, when I was searching for an online help forum (which they do not have), that if I login on the hosting site as a customer there's a place to access webmail. I can't do jack-crap with the instructions they sent me. I can't ftp. I also noticed yesterday's post never showed up in my reader. Is that related?

I called support yesterday and after 10 minutes I was still the 10th person in line so I gave up because I don't really have time to be on hold for two hours. The help screens are completely and totally worthless and say things like, "Webmail is easy to setup and using your username and password you can check your email from anywhere in the world."

That is fantastic news. Too bad I still have no idea how to set it up and there's no HELPful instructions.

Can you imagine if you asked someone to write instructions to make a pie. And this is what you got:

Crust: pie crust is a flaky pastry made from a butter, shortening or other fats combined with flour and salt and sometimes sugar. It is placed in a pie plate in preparation for fruit, custard or other prepared filling and then baked.

Do you feel like you could make a pie from those instructions? When I'm in charge of the world: everything's going to be different.

FRACK!

I finally figured out that my posts aren't showing up because my webhosting did their migration or upgrade or giant-pain-in-my-ass that they had scheduled and then rescheduled. Their instructions for entering the brave new world have no relation to anything in reality and I've spent the last hour trying to figure out how to set up my ftp in my blogger settings to make it work. You'd think blogger could tell me my ftp is effed up and not that "it's taking a long time to publish" worthless info. Jeez, it's like the entire planet is conspiring to waste my time.

Rain Maker For Hire
Yesterday I made it rain again. I decided to hoof it over to Powell's to see if I could pick up a few more copies of the anthology with my story in it. The sky did not look rain-like and I clicked the trusty weather icon on the desktop and there was Nothing about rain. So off I went without my umbrella and wearing my non-waterproof wool hat. You can guess the rest. For the second time in two days I had to wring out my panties. Also, Powell's didn't even have the book but I've learned since that's available here.

In other news, on Monday night when I got home I had a piece of mail from a lab that performed routine and completely uncontroversial lab work for me at my regular check up in September.

The form letter indicated they hadn't received payment for their services and further that according to Oregon law, if insurance refuses to pay a claim, they need to notify the lab and the patient in writing. The bill was for $50.

The letter goes on to instruct me to contact my health insurance and find out what's going on and then call the lab and tell them and if the health insurance doesn't have a copy of the claim then I need to call the lab with the name and fax # of the representative I'm dealing with and they'll resend the bill.

For the time and money it cost to waste my time, why not just start by re-billing insurance? Why am I even being involved?

I phoned my health insurance phone tree and after being advised that wait times were longer than usual I went through their website and sent an email relaying all of the above and giving them the lab's billing department phone in the desperate hope that I can be taken out of the loop on this stupid thing.

My insurance emailed me back and said they had no record of the claim, that they don't accept faxed claims and to instruct the lab to mail the claim to the claim address. Then I called the lab and they wanted to keep me on hold forever so I hung up and faxed them a note telling them to re-bill. Stupid.

Rain Maker
Everyone in the PACNW can thank me for the rain. Usually I make it rain by washing the car.

Yesterday I did it when I took my umbrella out of my bag because all of a sudden I decided it made the bag "too heavy" and besides, it's been clear for days. During this same frenzy of getting ready to head out the door for work I also detached the waterproof hood from my squall-proof/blizzard-proof coat so I could wear my cute not waterproof wool hat and fuzzy scarf.

I sealed the deal when I was standing in the garage holding a towel in my hands and thinking, "It would sure be handy to have a dry towel in the car but I don't really need it right now." Then I put it back where I found it and continued on my way.

I exited the office at 4:30 and it wasn't just drizzling, it was showering. I no longer park in my building since the parking bastards raised the daily rate to $12 when the lot next door closed so someone can build another office tower. If I ever get the opportunity to time travel I'm going to tell my past self to buy parking lots and then enjoy raking in piles of free money. Now I park about a 10 minute walk away (Only on yoga day. I could, seriously, write a 10 screen post about parking but it's not worth it. The short version is, I drive 1 day a week and take the bus the other days.) so I was nice and wet when I made it to the car not to mention smelling like livestock. (My wet wool hat.)

It sure would have been handy to have a dry towel for my hands and face when I got in the car. Then there was a stalled car right where I exit the parking lot and for some reason everyone in that lane just stopped. No one went around. No one helped. Everyone just sat there. I've never seen anything like it. I finally had to squeeze out between two stopped cars and make a wish that there was no oncoming traffic and drive around the mess.

Added: "Oncoming" may not be the right word. I wasn't driving on the wrong side of the road to get around. There were three lanes and the lane where the parking garage exited was stopped. So I had to drive across this lane and blindly jump into one of the still moving lanes. If this doesn't make sense don't worry. It's just a dumb traffic story.

Let the Cheer Begin
My feelings about the holidays change from year-to-year. I'm not really a holiday lover but not a hater either. I like the holiday cheer part but hate the big crowds and traffic jams it creates.

Last year we had an unusually busy holiday season and tons of events. We're not big social people and while I love visiting with family and friends, I find it extremely draining to be in large groups of people that I don't know.

Also last year my family was here so we did a lot more going out to movies and restaurants and stuff than Bob and I might normally do. At the end of last year I totally hit my breaking point and refused to attend our last function and instead spent the day puttering around the house in my sweats with my hair uncombed.

So as we started the slow descent into this holiday season I was preemptively stressing about getting overbooked and Bob reminded me that we don't have as many events and we're going away for the holiday to a quiet place where three cars is a traffic jam and the only people we see are family and friends so nothing to be exhausted about. (Assuming the weather cooperates and travel goes smoothly.)

I Can Remember Lots of Things

Not long ago Jezebel had a thread and endless comments about Sixteen Candles v. Pretty in Pink.

As if.

I love my Pretty in Pink and my Duckie and my Iona and Andie with her drawer full of pink beads. But if I'm forced to choose, Sixteen Candles is going to win every time.

The movie was on cable last week and I taped it and watched it yesterday.

I love this movie.

Every time Bob came into the room I said, "Honey, come here. This is the best scene in 80's cinema." If you know his taste in films you're laughing right now because he likes weird old foreign stuff with like, one guy in a room playing the accordion while a monkey tap dances. He would think that was the best scene in cinema. He also claims I've already made him watch 16 Candles with me at least 4 times which I find very hard to believe. Or not.

One thing that struck me about the film during this viewing was how much stuff you could NEVER put in a mainstream teen movie these days. Homosexual slurs. Terrible Italian stereotypes. Horrifically racist Asian stuff. Drunk teenagers driving, mixing drinks and doing it with no mention of protection whatsoever.

I have a million favorite moments in this movie but I will mention two. The first is when Farmer Ted is mixing martinis for himself and Jake Ryan and handing him peanuts and giving him girl advice. Classic.

The other is probably my favorite movie scene in history beating out when Luke destroys the death star, "nobody puts baby in a corner" and that moment in the Battle Of Helm's Deep when Gandalf comes galloping down the hill.

It's at the very end when Samantha is leaving the church and people are taking off and all the cars pull away and there's Jake Ryan leaning on his red Porsche waiting for her! And even better, her Dad lets her drive off with him instead of going to her sister's wedding reception. On what planet does that happen?

The best.

The pumpkin photostream is up.

It starts with sprouting pumpkin seeds and ends with pumpkin pies.

We are having a quiet weekend. Yesterday I was out chopping back dead dahlias and other yard cleanup duties. I found the box that the bulbs came in on the workbench and as I went to throw it out I noticed there was one packet of bulbs left. I think it was these. I cleared out a spot for them but I needed a bag of dirt to supplement and obviously totally forgot. I took care of that this morning.

I just took the last of the tomatoes from the window sill and put them in a pot with a slab of butter and will hopefully make a tasty little bowl of soup. All the last little reminders of summer, gone.

(Bigger version of photo here.)

The Book Pile
This isn't a completely accurate version of all the books in the house that I plan to read someday but the top shelf is the main holding area for things I intend to read sooner rather than later. The second shelf books aren't a priority but I wanted to get the Han Shot First bookends in there.

The bookends on the top shelf are the Argonath from the Lord of the Rings.

This whole thing is making me look a lot nerdier than I'd intended. I've always liked to read a lot of different kinds of stuff but this year I've been on a sci-fi/fantasy binge much more than in past years. The Kite Runner and The Known World have been here forever and I've "almost" read them a number of times and then seem to be distracted by something else.

I thought about why this might be and my best theory is that when my job changed I started working much longer days and when I get home my brain fried and then I eat dinner and have a couple glasses of wine and it's hard to concentrate on what I'm reading for more than a page or two. In this condition: dragons, space ships=easy, literature=less easy.

I don't know why I feel the need to explain myself. I like to read the books I like. The sci-fi books are also idea for public transportation.

I keep lists of the books I read and short reviews here.

At the moment I'm reading Fargo Rock City and Chuck Klosterman IV by Chuck Klosterman that Meredith and Jeff loaned me. Fargo Rock City is about hair bands. I can't believe I haven't read it already. When I started it I thought a little bit of Chuck goes a long way but I'm having fun reading both. I like particularly like the celebrity profiles in IV. I also started Potter 7 at last. I can't remember much about the other 6 books and I thought I'd speed read through the synopses online but even those are endlessly long. I don't need to reminded of every time Harry drank a tankard of pumpkin juice and scratched his butt.

Worth Eating
I thought I scanned a really old, like 60's era, Thanksgiving photo earlier this year but I can't find it so I'm posting a picture from the Orleans post office instead.

So far all the cooking I did in advance is having problems. Except the pumpkin pie which I didn't really make for dinner today, more like an ongoing snack all weekend. We already cut into it.

Several years ago we were at a party where they served the best chocolate mousse on 9 planets. It was the kind of thing you thought about for days after. The taste, texture and tiny flecks of chocolate. It was a spectacular dessert and I've wanted to make it myself ever since.

I used the Cooks Illustrated recipe and it did not go well.

Perhaps I should back up and confess that I was über-multi-tasking yesterday. I had Star Wars IV, special edition on the tube, I made the pie from my own pumpkins (photos sometime this weekend) so I had to process those and make the pie (also crust disaster as per usual) I made the salad, the mousse, our Wednesday night dinner plus I intended to bake some breadsticks which I ended up passing on but I did do step one of the no knead bread recipe.

The mousse was a large pain in the ass and involved melting things in a double boiler, separating eggs and whipping this and that or the other thing into soft peaks and gently folding this into that and everything needs to be smooth. I was also fretting about the not really cooked 2 eggs thing. Is stirring egg yolks into melted chocolate enough? Is the food safety industry overly paranoid and do we not really need to worry as much as they seem to want us to?

By this point dinner was ready and the season finale of Weeds queued up (aside- tiny spoiler: Kevin Nealon, banjo, awesome.) I folded everything as best I could and reminded myself about Julie and Julia and I'm not the first cook to curse at a cooking project that's not going well. There was no graceful way to get it into the serving cups. My attempt at gentle spooning turned into violent glopping.

Meanwhile, husband and hot food wait at table.

Then I tried to carefully wipe the mess off the rims of the serving cups and it smeared unprettily. At this point I said ferk-it and covered each dish as instructed then threw them in the fridge.

Dinner went fine. We cut the pumpkin pie which was delicious. I finished making the salad without incident and hit the sack without causing harm to myself or anyone else. I worried about the mousse all night and came up with the idea to transfer them into new, clean serving cups.

The mousse transfer is a wonderful idea that totally didn't work. I only did one cup and it looks like someone dropped it and then scraped it into the dish with a tree branch. I tasted it. Fantastic. I left the rest as they are. Not pretty but taste good, dammit!

Meanwhile, my bread dough came out like bread batter. I'm not sure if I spaced and didn't put enough flour (probably) or spaced and added too much water. I shaped it the best I could and it's rising now but I don't think it's going to work. I dug out the bread stick recipe from last night because it only needs 45 minutes to rise. Let's just hope I can turn out decent risotto or we're going to be eating pizza tonight.

Power Goose Down Insulation
When I was younger I was one of those people pleasing people and I didn't want to rock the boat and was all easy-going, "I don't care, whatever you want to do." Now I'm Queen of Ornery and I think everyone should be pleased with whatever I'm willing to offer. There's a story involved but we'll save it for some other time.

Remember the -40° coat? I got it last week and yesterday was the test run. I had to wait for the bus at 7am, the temperature was probably around regular 40° (meaning not: -40°).

You know that feeling when you climb into a comfy bed and the pillow is fluffy and the comforter is puffy and you snuggle in and it feels so great? This is what my coat feels like. It's awesome. It kept me toasty warm but not overheated, which was what I was worried about. I don't know who does the temperature rating. I think if it was -40° I would need to wear three of these coats. But it will be perfect for me here. I need to find my scarf and I might remove the hood and use my wool hat instead. I don't like the visibility limitations of a hood.

I've got a big day. I'm doing a bunch of cooking/baking including processing some pumpkin for a pie. (Photo of processing the summer 05 crop here.)

NaBlo-er Gives Birth!

Hey NaBlo-ers. Fellow blogger (and for me, relative) It's Meri Day Every Day! gave birth this morning to a baby boy: Samuel. 9 lbs. 10 oz. Drop her a note if you have time.

The Last Cheeseburger in Vancouver, WA
I enjoy a wide variety of entertainment. I like books, TV and movies. Hobbits, Jane Austen and space ships. I like stories in foreign countries or with politics or with complex family relationships and where everything doesn't necessarily come out okay. I like two pretty people falling in love. I like vampires.

I like horror but I scare easily and gross-out even easier so my consumption is not extensive. Some horror is criminally stupid but other times it can be pretty interesting.

I read a book called The Ruins by Scott Smith. If I told you right now what the big bad was, you'd probably roll your eyes. I was a little disappointed when I figured it out. But the way the story is set up, you meet these 4 people traveling in Mexico together and you are introduced to their personal quirks and their relationships to one another and you can relate to them. One of them convinces the group to go off on this side trip to find a fellow traveler's brother and one thing leads to another and the horror begins.

I liked the story because it was creepy-disturbing-impossible-to-put-down. But I also liked it because I felt like the people were acting like real people would act (well, except for this one thing) and trying to solve their problem by being smart and using common sense. Yet, the horror went on and on.

I read another book called Cold Skin by Albert Sánchez Piñol which is another conventional, yet unconventional horror novel set on a remote island in the Antarctic. I'm going to give spoilers but all this stuff happens in the first 25 pages of the book so it's not like I'm giving away the whole thing. The protagonist arrives to work at the weather station and the person he is supposed to replace has disappeared. There's another man working the lighthouse who seems to be insane. As soon as the sun goes down, the hero finds out that scary creatures pour out of the depths and would like to get their cold claws on him.

The fact that this all happens in the first 25 pages of the book should alert you to the notion that the big bad is only a small part of the horror happening on this island. Another disturbing and hard to put down book that lingers with you.

But here's the point I wanted to bring up. I always wonder about horror stories where there are scads and scads of beasts that all want to eat the 2 or 3 humans that are stuck as the victims in the story. Like in Cold Skin there were legions of creatures chasing down these two men on the island. They must have had another food source. With only two people, each creature would get like, one bite -- it would seem hardly worth the trouble.

It's like if everyone in your neighborhood was starving and rioting and fighting over the last hamburger at Burgerville.

Acting Techniques
I was (am) a huge Buffy, Angel and Firefly fan. Every time I run across another blog where someone talks about his or her devotion to Buffy I wonder why we can't just have our own planet. Joss would make TV shows around the clock and we'd all watch reruns and the new stuff and discuss whether anyone ever really liked Dawn or whether the Buffy/Angel or Willow/Oz doomed romance was more tragic.

I thought Buffy completely lost it in the last season. The group of potential slayers were horrifically bad actors and the story developments made no sense. I was on the verge of giving it up when I found out it was coming to an end so I slogged through to the bitter end.

The purpose of this post is to discuss a nitpick of the show which I call "the stammering school of acting." I don't know who started it but after awhile every single scene where any of the main characters had to express some sort of intense emotion, they would do so by stammering. All the actors stammered. Once you notice it, you can't not notice it and so instead of being drawn into the scene, I'd be rolling my eyeballs back into my head and screaming, "Enough with the stammering." If you've never noticed it before, you will notice it now and you will curse me. So much for the Buffy planet idea.

This relates to a current nit which is in every single show I watch and is an acting technique called "panting to convey fear." I suppose if I was chased by a bloodthirsty vampire or woken in the night by someone with a big axe that wanted to dismember me, my breathing might change. I don't know. I don't want to be tested on that. I'm just saying that watching two actors with their back against a wall, their shoulders rising and falling with great drama while they exchange wild-eyed looks is tired and someone needs to break the mold. Convey fear by eating a sandwich or reciting Shakespeare or making a poodle jump through a hoop. The possibilities are endless.

A Few Of My Favorite Things (Products)

I'm not going to do pictures of everything because that was the part that was taking forever.

One of my favorite discoveries of all time is Hyland's Calms Forte. It is a homeopathic sleep/nervousness remedy and it is fabulous. It's not addictive (to me). There's no drowsy hangover the next morning. I like to take it right before I get on a plane if I'm feeling some travel anxiety. I take it preemptively when I know I'm going to have a hard time getting to sleep. There have been times when it didn't help. I think my world record is taking three and I still had a hard time dropping off to sleep. I have passed this on to tons of people who also love it. My favorite was one time on a trip I gave it to a friend and the next morning she said, "It didn't work. But I did fall asleep."

DHC skincare products. The first time I tried the Deep Cleansing Oil it felt like I was washing my face with salad dressing and I wasn't convinced but now I love it. I've tried a bunch of their stuff and haven't loved all of it. Some of it I think is overpriced for what it is. I also love the Rose Oil Treatment but I tried some mascara that was nothing special and cost about 3x what a tube of Mabelline costs. I also bought some foundation make up that's like clown make up. Another good thing is they give you samples with every purchase. I try new stuff but also stock up on facial scrub and shampoo that are perfect for weekend trips.

Mrs. Meyers cleaning products. Here's an example of winning by passing out samples. They were handing out dishsoap downtown and I got one in every smell and ran out to buy the product. They smell so good.

Lavender Lane essential oils. I use essential oils for all sorts of thing: tea tree oil in the laundry, skin and scalp blends, things that smell pretty. I make a holiday blend with cinnamon, orange and clove and use a diffuser.

Wool socks. I spent my first winter in Oregon very cold and I thought it was because I wasn't used to it and didn't consider that I didn't know how to dress for crap. I like Sternlien and Smartwool.

I bought my first pair of Danskos by accident when I was using an REI gift card. The salesperson said that everyone she knew that bought them loved them and she was right. Many times I stood in an elevator or waited to pay for my groceries and exchanged a look with someone wearing Danskos. The clogs are super comfortable. I've walked all over New York City with nary a pinch. I have several pairs of sandals, too.

Eco-DenT tooth powder. I started using this stuff years and years ago when I bought it at Natures, which was purchased by Wild Oats, which was purchased by Whole Foods. The store I frequented was moved to a less convenient location and I did without Eco-DenT for awhile. Then I started buying it online. I love it and I get spectacular check-ups at the dentist. The only thing is, it doesn't have fluoride so I also use a Toms of Maine toothpaste because my teeth became really sensitive and putting cold drinks in my mouth made me scream. I passed this on to some travelers who were looking for alternatives that could be brought on an airplane and both of them returned them to me and said they didn't like it. Hm.

A Few Things I've Learned in the Kitchen

Put a plate under meat that defrosts in the refrigerator.

If it tastes good, no one cares what it looks like.

Always hold down the lid on the blender. Always. Just do it.

Nothing beats a good, sharp chef's knife.

If you're doing something on a timer, carry the timer with you into the other room when you hop online for just a second. Because no one ever hops online for just a second.

Put a cookie sheet or a piece of tin foil on the lower shelf when you cook a pie.

I'm sure I have more but I consumed a large quantity of adult beverages last night and stayed up way past my bed time and I'm still moving slowly.

Discarded Chores
Last week Mrs. G did a list of her favorite things. That reminded me that I made a list of favorite things to post about this month.

Today she's got a list of people doing favorite things which I fully intended on doing today but it's taking too long so I've scrapped the idea for now.

It seems like the more I try to simplify and get things off my plate, the more things that rush in to take their place.

Tonight we're going to a function and yesterday I talked myself into going out and buying a nice dress since it's been years since I had a nice dress and here I could wear it tonight and to the firm holiday party and maybe some other thing might come up and I'd have a nice dress. But I've lived without one for years and it's raining sideways and I don't really want to leave the house. Plus somehow it's 1pm.

Here's one of our favorite things: tomorrow we're going to Bob's Red Mill. Bob (mine, not the one with the Red Mill) loves the breakfast sampler with every kind of pancake and I stock up on beans and grains and get stuff for holiday gifts.

This isn't my real post for today but for anyone interested, Jezebel is doing a poll for sexiest man alive.

Too many choices! I narrowed it Ryan Gosling, Clive Owen, Christian Bale, Bret and Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords and Johnny Depp.

(I picked Johnny. I once told my husband if Johnny wanted me I was leaving. I wouldn't even bring my purse.)

Vote here.

Before I start my regular post, my webhosting has again informed me that I can't update any content in my account during this upgrade. I haven't had any problems but just in case I disappear, look for me here.

The Wonderful World of TV
Several years ago, when I was writing, I was very strict about how many TV shows I could have. TV is a terrible time waster.

Then I quit writing and when the new fall season started I tried every single show I was remotely interested in. Since then I've been trying to reel it back in and now that I'm writing again, I'm cutting back. But after a long day at the office all I'm good for is a glass of wine, a plate of tacos and TV.

From last year I lost Veronica Mars (boo!) and I gave up on Grey's Anatomy. Lost and Battlestar Galactica don't start until January. I hope. If the writers strike ruins Battlestar Galactica I will be one very unhappy camper.

These are my current shows:

Bones. I started watching Bones because Angel is on it and it's turned out to be one of my favorites. The crime solving part is pretty mundane but the characters are fabulous.

Supernatural. This is my favorite guilty pleasure. My ultimate fantasy would be to have Sam and Dean come over and clean my house and then make a Pam sandwich.

Torchwood. This is my favorite of my news shows this season. I never watched Doctor Who (netflix-ing, in progress) but I added this on a whim and LOVE it. Captain Jack is my hero.

Bionic Woman. Every time I mention this show to someone they talk about the 1970's series, which I did watch, but this show has zero to do with the 1970's series other than the idea. I don't love the show but I like it enough to keep watching. It's like Alias with bionics.

Moonlight. I started watching this show because it's about vampires and the only thing I love more than vampires is pumpkins. It's actually pretty lame but I like the main character (vampire) and I can't stop watching.

Heroes. Heroes is on the bubble for me. I don't think I'd miss it if I quit but I'm still just interested enough to tune in one more time. One thing I don't like about this show is it takes itself way too seriously. I also don't think Peter Petrelli is all that and I can't stand Niki. I am very curious to see what the David Anders character is up to.

Pushing Daisies. I started watching this show because of the Wonderfalls connection. I was undecided after the first episode but it's grown on me. I love the characters and the loopy tone.

Weeds. This is one of the few shows Bob and I watch together and we LOVE it. Great characters and insane story twists.

Other regular shows not reviewed: The 4400, Psych, Simpsons, The Daily Show and At the Movies with Ebert & Roeper.

Things I Don't Wear
Fleece – I can't explain what my thing is about fleece. Why wouldn't I like fleece? I was looking at some cute stuff in a catalog last night and then read the description and wrinkled my nose and muttered, "fleece."

Heels – I gave up heels a long time ago purely as a comfort thing. I'd much rather my feet be happy than fashionable. Lately I've been thinking I might like to buy a nice dress that I can wear to holiday parties for the next 10 years and if I get a nice dress, perhaps I should get some heels. The most comfortable heels on the market. Is there such a thing?

Things Around My Neck – I don't like turtlenecks, mock turtlenecks or any kind of shirt or sweater that goes right up around my neck. I don't mind scarves to keep my neck warm in winter.

Capris – I hate Capri pants. To me, they look like a mistake. I do wear Capri yoga pants because my legs are freakishly short and if I bought regular yoga pants I would have to hem them and I don't want to hem yoga pants. I know this makes little sense but it's my list and I don't wear Capri pants.

Pastels – almost every year my folks give me a clothing gift certificate for Christmas and sometimes I sit on it for awhile so that by the time I finally venture out into shopping land, the Spring stuff is out and it's all ooky pastels. I'm not a pastel person. I don't even wear many colors. I have the black/gray/brown wardrobe. Lately I've gotten crazy and branched out into some burgundy and I bought a shirt that's light blue. Watch out.

Flip-flops – which were called "thongs" when I was a girl. I wore flip-flops a lot in my younger days and I can't explain why at this point in my life, the thought of wearing a shoe with a thing between my toes, skeeves me out. Also, I think that some flip-flops look sloppy which is fine for the beach or the mall but maybe not the best for the office or a nice restaurant. This is one of those things where I can tell I'm getting to be an old lady because while in principle, I think the world should be free of fashion police, I also think people should want to look halfway decent when they're out in public. There's a nice restaurant that we like to go to to celebrate birthdays, etc. and last time we were there I noticed about 99% of the patrons were wearing jeans and sweatshirts and I was thinking, "Jesus Christ Vancouver, would it kill you to put on a pair of slacks and a shirt with buttons now and then?"

Thongs – the underwear. Flossing my ass all day is not my idea of a good time.

Strapless – The idea of stepping out of the house with a top on that has no straps terrifies me. I think this goes back to a story my Mom told me about a middle school graduation that I did not attend but some poor girl wore a strapless long dress – remember those ones that were like a tubetop with a skirt attached? And she stepped on the dress and pulled her dress down in front of everyone. How do those strapless things stay up? It just seems like an accident waiting to happen.

Vests – I have one vest that was a gift from my mother-in-law that I wear sometimes but in general I don't get the idea. If I want to be warm, I want my arms covered. If I don't want to be warm, I'll wear a tanktop. I was once considering developing an innocent crush on this guy and then I saw him wearing a sweater vest. I took my innocent crushing elsewhere.

Safety is Our Goal
Back at the office. It's always a little surreal to return to the desk after having been gone a few days. I had a phone message that I first heard, "Hello Pam" and went on to say that she'd seen my gospel play on TV and wanted copies of it for her family and left me her name, phone number and address in Florida. I sat here, agog, trying to figure out why this message came to me, gave it some practical joke consideration and generally tried to figure out a logical explanation for the mistake.

When I listened the second time I realized she said, "Hello ma'am." Must have inverted some digits and got my direct line by mistake.

Then there's some weird and greatly entertaining mail here which I would love to share but I don't think that's cool. You have no idea how hard it is, sometimes, to resist the urge to talk about work stuff.

The other day when I was rushing around doing errands I had to do a quick brake and my right arm shot out to protect that stuff on the passenger seat from flying off.

Remember back in the days before seatbelts when that was how Mom kept us on front seat when she had to punch the brakes in a hurry? That was the exact image that came into my head. I have a very distinct memory of riding in the car, probably on the way home from preschool, with Scotty and Stacy's Mom. I was in the backseat. In those days the front seat was a bench and there were probably 2 or 3 kids sitting there and as we made the left turn from Balboa onto Burbank, one of the kids opened the car door.

Joyce had to hold kids in the car (because we didn't have to wear seatbelts!) AND close the car door and bitch the kid out all while making a left turn. Ah, those were the good old days.

Yamhill and Taylor
Bob had a little medical procedure this morning. We left the house at 6:30a. He was the one with the preparation work but I was the one that couldn't sleep most of the night. And now, after all these years, I've finally seen the inside of his colon. Via photos. I didn't witness the procedure. So nice to have this level of intimacy with a fellow human being.

Everything looked good. Another good day for preventative health care.

On the way home we had to stop and buy a new shower-head. This isn't the first time I tried some plumbing thing and made it worse when I tried to fix it. We'll omit the details but there was no saving the old thing. Plastic piece broken. I gamely reattached it anyway and showered my entire bathroom. It was finished.

We didn't go to World of Plumbing store. We went to the hardware store on our way home and it had a wide array (about 5 options) of cheap plastic shower-heads to choose from. I opted for their most luxury model which cost a whopping $13.99. The packaging said a lot about how much water it would save and to be honest, this isn't my goal. I hate stepping into a hotel shower with a shower-head that delivers a fine mist so that you go home with shampoo still glistening in your hair.

I save water by only showering every other day. On shower day, I want to feel the hot water drumming into my head. We'll see how this thing works. At least I can take a real shower again and not stand under a spout like a garden hose.

No Fiber Diet
Without giving all the gory details, I will mention that my sweetheart has to do a little medical procedure and has been on a restricted diet. For two days he couldn't have anything with fiber and since he loves meat, sauce, white rice and noodles, this was only a minimal hardship. I baked a loaf of regular old sandwich bread from Cooks Illustrated. Look how pretty it turned out. Tasted good, too.

Today he has to fast. I've known this man for 12 years and I've NEVER seen him go 24 hours without solid food. Pray for us. He was already grouchy this morning. He went to a movie about Joe Strummer and hopefully he has a movie to watch when he comes home. Or I think he was going to stop by his office and clear a few things off his desk. Keep him occupied until bed time.

Today was supposed to be my lazy day and I seem to be chasing my tail. I'm going to have to re-read that thing about big rocks first and then figure out what my big rocks are.

If it's not raining I'm going to go do a bit of raking. You rarely want to wish for rain in this part of the world but since I have a hard time sitting around in the house when it's nice outside, I've been kind of hoping it would get started.

I'm going to put on my work clothes and see if I can get it to start.

Wordstock III
Today Bob and I went to Wordstock III a giant book fair /literary event in Portland. We didn't intend to spend all day there but left the house around 9:30a and didn't get home until 7p. It was fabulous.

We saw authors talking about food and some local restaurant biz dirt. We listened to Wesley Stace read from his book. We saw Lauren Weedman who Bob has a major crush on since the Daily Show days. We saw Harry Shearer read and as soon as he started I looked at Bob and said, "Principal Skinner?" and we giggled for the next 10 minutes.

During the Q&A a really cute kid, wearing a fez, got up and said, "I know you must get this question a billion times a day, but could you do the voices from the Simpsons?" and you could hear a quick rush through the audience because we all were thinking the same thing. "Smithers, let out the hounds," he said in his Mr. Burns voice. It was awesome.

The last talk we saw was Lisa Lednicer and Dan Huntly who wrote a book called Extreme Barbecue. What actually happened was we sat down and put our stuff down in the reading area because we were trying to regroup before heading home. Bob headed for the bathroom when they started. On his way out he saw the library free book table and lingered so that by the time he got back to where our stuff was, they had started their talk and he said, "This sounds interesting." We ended up listening to the whole thing and buying a book and visiting with them after their talk. An excerpt:

Twenty whole chickens bathed in garlic on a rig that resembles a cast-iron satellite dish . . . this is Extreme Barbecue, a tribute to the derring-do behind the craziest grilling contraptions in the country.

The main reason we were at the Festival was the writing contest which I entered in July.

While it would be tempting to write a long story about my writing career (ahem) I will post some links in case anyone is interested. I wrote a novel about 80's hairbands and had a miserable time trying to sell it..

I took some screen writing classes and had a miserable time trying to market those.

In July of 05 I quit writing altogether.

If you've ever been drawn to something like writing, which for me started around the 2nd grade, you'll know that it was sort of like trying to cut off my arm. It didn't take long before I wanted to get back into it.

I started writing stories again and decided to enter the contest as a way of having a goal and a deadline. I actually thought to myself, 'If I get even the tiniest bit of recognition for this, it's a sign to keep at it.' Because after 100 years, writing to zero recognition gets old and you start to wonder about all this time you spend locked up by yourself hitting your head against the monitor and whether your personal satisfication (ahem) is worth it.

I found out last month that I made the top 10 which was already huge. I bounced around the house for days. The top ten were published into a book sold at the festival and online. There were additional prizes for the top three which were going to be announced at the Festival.

This morning when we got to the event I saw the book on a display table and I told Bob to go look at it. Incredulous, he said, "You're making me look?" "Yes," I said, but I followed behind and looked over his shoulder.

2nd place. whoo-hoo!

(If you'd like to read it send me email at pam(at)pamrentz.com and I'll send you a .pdf.)

Temporary Relocation
If I understand the notice I just received from my webhosting, they're going to be upgrading or migrating or whatever the entire system starting today (?) and I won't be permitted to make any content changes for one week. I find this a little hard to believe because don't a lot of people run businesses with their websites? A whole week? Now?

Just in case I've started a new blog at http://pamrentz.blogspot.com so if this site doesn't change, maybe my three loyal readers could follow me over there for a week.

When Gift Cards Don't Work
Last year I recieved a gift card for a store with a single location in the metro-area and not terribly convenient for me and not a place I love to shop so I've been sitting on it. Over the past year this company acquired another company with a couple more stores in the metro-area with some locations slightly more convenient but still, not places I love to shop.

I need a large quantity of an expensive item so I figured I'd drive across town and get it at one of the recently acquired stores and while I was there burn through the entire gift card.

But first I thought I'd check and make sure they would accept the card. I phoned the gift card helpline and had my first experience with outsourced India call center. I explained my question and this very nice and polite person didn't have the slightest idea what I was talking about.

I planned out all my errands and I phoned the store and asked about the gift card. I was assured without hestation that there would be no problem. So I drove across town show up at the store and they don't even have the expensive item I need. An item that I can get at Safeway, about 1 mile from my house. So now I'm there, I want to use the gift card up so I cruise the aisles grabbing random stuff that I'd ordinarily never buy and I get to check out and guess what? The gift card won't work in their system.

"I called before I came out here."

"Did you call this store?"

"Yes. I called this store."

"Do you know who you talked to?"

Really, because how does that help? They were actually nice and apologetic and tried to work around the system to take the card but they couldn't make it work. Meanwhile, the line is stretching across the store.

So I took one item that I actually wanted. They had to credit back all the other crap. I still have a gift card plus they gave me a gift card for my trouble.

Partisan Exits
Today I got rid of an entire trunkload (TRUNKLOAD!) of crap. I'm giddy. I keep running out to the garage and looking at the huge empty space where that worthless junk used to be and then rubbing my hands together and giggling. I love getting rid of things.

I've had a giant box that was once the home of a brand new eMac (not one of my better computers). I've been throwing Goodwill stuff into it plus I had two giant bags of clothes. All this stuff has been sitting here forever. Plus I had a big stack of books for the Friends of the Library (I'd link to it but they still address their mailings by hand, I'm not even going to look for a website) that I dropped off for donation and I had a small stack of books to trade in. So I did bring some books home, but not as many as I got rid of.

Oh. I forgot to tell the part about how the giant box wouldn't fit into the trunk or the backseat. Not even close and I tried and many bad words were said. I stomped back into the garage and found a giant box cutter that I bought during the whole home improvement project (It starts at May 7 and goes on forever.) Violently cut the box down to size. Tossed the trimmings into recycling. Cut new "handles" into the new box and chucked it into the trunk.

Of course the entire area around Goodwill was a sea of orange cones and people in orange vests with signs that said "Stop" or Slow" and then when it was finally your turn, they waved at your urgently, as though you were competing for fabulous cash and prizes.

But I got it all done. Now I'm apparently going to some sort of art lecture. When I said, "Sure that sounds fun," I thought I was agreeing to an art exhibit. The driver is waiting ... .

What A Way to Make A Living
I feel like I'm more tired than I ought to be. Huge pile of work is stacked up here. After our meetings yesterday I said, "For everything we did, we have about 100 new things." That's not complaining. I like these clients a lot and I like the work we do, it was just funny how so many new things came up.

Last night the plane got in around 7:50pm and I took the shuttle bus out to economy parking. My car was covered in mist (or whatever you call it) and I couldn't find my little towel I used to keep in there for just such occasions. Knowing me I probably took it out to wash it.

I sat in the car with the engine running, wondering what to do. I don't enjoy driving when I can't see anything. I went through a mental check list of what was in my bags that I could use and finally decided to use my pajama bottoms, which need replacing anyway, and I swabbed the windows clear and was on my way.

Last time I was in the economy lot they had just installed self-serve ticket payment that you do with your debit card. That time it was a Sunday night and it was a major clusterfork gridlock and I think it took over a half hour to get out of the lot.

When I pulled in this time I had this in mind so I was looking for a spot: near a bus shelter, near an overhead light and that would be easy to jump into the payment line. And miraculously succeeded. Of course there was no line last night and twenty minutes after I got in my car I was at home with a glass of wine and my Google Reader.

I have 88 posts left. I kept choosing items and thinking, "Hey, I can probably clear through these quickly," and then there would be something I wanted to comment on or read more closely so plenty left for later.

View from my room, Kootenai River Inn, Bonners Ferry, Idaho

Home Sweet Home
I think the legality of yesterday's post is in question. Co-worker handed over his laptop and I was logged-in to the wireless network for at least 3 minutes before it spit me out. I assumed this was a random glitch and I could jump back on.

I was wrong.

I wrestled with the thing for about 15 minutes and then typed my post out into WordPad so I could quickly cut, paste and publish once I got on again. I couldn't get back on the wireless network to save my life. I'm not a Windoze person and my usual wireless connection is at home where I just turn on the computer and it's there. I don't know how to troubleshoot (or troubleshat as I was thinking of it) a wireless connection but none of my best guesses would work. My popup window said, "We see tons of wireless connections, pick the one you want." And I'd pick one and then we'd grind awhile and then it would say, "Oh, we couldn't connect." Then the entire process would repeat itself.

The hotel directions were worthless which I could have figured out when I saw that Macintosh looked like "MacIntosh" (serif typeface in italics with capital I?). I read it about 5 times before I figured out what that was supposed to mean. I fought with it another half hour before calling my husband in a snit.

"Log on to blogger. Here, I'll dictate." So he was to publish my post which for some reason didn't work right.

When I got home it was sitting there and I published again and I think it's up. I don't care whether it counts or not, my intention was there and I'm not doing this for a prize.

In other news, I have 303 posts in my reader. I hope there's a bunch of stuff I can easily "mark as read" with minimal guilt.

The trip was fabulous but super busy. My one chunk of non-scheduled time was used up on the wireless problem.

Many more photos to come.

Idaho beautiful.

Co-worker piece of crap Dell laptop and hotel wireless not.

Home tomorrow night.

Delayed Gratification
We don't have a huge house and I am fine with that. It's just two of us and we have plenty of room for what we need.

We have two linen closets. One is small and well suited for towels, washcloths and my small collection of holiday linens.

This is the bigger one with both lower and upper section. The lower section has the bed linens. The upper section has two shelves of Bob's sweaters. We will not be discussing Bob's sweater collection in this post.

A couple of weeks ago I cleaned out the entire cupboard and I convinced Bob that the bed stuff we had on the top shelf, that we've never touched since we moved into this house back in the Eisenhower administration (slight exaggeration), could probably go. When I told him we could donate it to the local women's shelter, he reluctantly agreed.

Now I have this whole huge empty shelf to use for something else. But I haven't put anything there, yet, because then I won't have it anymore.

And I told both Bob and a friend this and they laughed at me. Mocking laughter.

I compared it to when I have some money set aside that I'm saving for something special. Then I can look around at everything I want and think, ooh, maybe I could get that. New shoes. Take a class. Buy software. I'm not one of those people who buys whatever I want anytime I want it and thus, am bad for our nation's economy. I like to hang on to my fun money and study my options because, once I spend the money, the choice is gone. So I put it off as long as I can.

My friend said, "When you said that I thought, 'I must be more hungover than I thought because what she's saying makes no sense.'"

Me and my monklike appreciation for contemplation.

I'm off to Idaho for a couple days for work stuff. I do not travel with advanced technology and will have to depend on the generosity of others for my posts. Photos when I return.

Delayed Gratification Delayed
There's no better way to lose interest in writing a post than to mention the day before that you're going to do it later. It happens every time. I'm not writing about delayed gratification today. I think there's a joke in there somewhere but I'm still too brain dead to figure it out.

I got home from work yesterday at 5:30pm and found my absentee ballot for the tribal election. It's post dated Tuesday 10-30. It's due in the tribal office by 5pm on Monday. At least they have the candidate statements online. We mailed it at the post office last night anyway and I may or may not write the election committee and suggest this could be improved.

Historically, I always have one big energy weekend around this time. As if biologically I know this decent weather is it until July so better sweep out the garage or whatever. Today was going to be my lazy day and the lazy part was I didn't get out of bed until I finished my book (#35)

Since then I've been doing housework and for some reason, I decided to clean out my spices. I need to put in a Penzey's order because I desperately need cocoa for the hot cocoa ceremony. And if I'm going to put an order in, might as well stock up on taco seasoning and finally get that Spanish paprika because I am going to become the queen of all things paella this winter.

This week fried my brain. I can't do anything that involves thinking. I think I'll go rake some leaves in the sunshine until Bob gets home.