If it would stop raining long enough, maybe I could run out there and save the last few tomatoes.

Portland Oregon Water
When summer boogied, it didn't waste any time. We went from pleasant sunshine to cold, hard rain. I thought about pulling up the tomatoes last weekend but then thought we'd have at least one more warm streak. Maybe we will. I'm going to put my hoses away to see if it that will help.

We had the furnace serviced yesterday and some liner or pan or whatever that we've been watching has finally gone bad and we need a new one. It's hardly catastrophic but not what I want to spend my money on right now and definitely not what I want to spend yet one more Friday doing - sitting around the house while someone works on the furnace. I had some money set aside to do something fun with and so far, something fun seems to be having heat this winter.

Oh well, there are way worse problems a girl can have. The serviceman did not feel great about us using the furnace while this part is kaput and temperature-wise we're on the threshold. We can make do with a sweater and a space heater to take the edge off but blasting some real heat would be a lot nicer.

We had writers group here today and I baked an applesauce cake. We have tons of apples on our little old tree and I've been making applesauce the past few weekends. The cake came out good but it wasn't as sweet as I would expect. I guess that's because of the icing that calls for another half pound of butter and two cups of powdered sugar. I didn't make the icing. It was still yummy. The group hasn't met in a couple of months so it was fun to see everyone and we had two new people join us and I thought it went well. And I got some great feedback on a story I've been working on for eons that I couldn't quite get to work. I think it's very close.

I've been looking forward to getting my shows back except for two of them don't even start until 2008 so I'm not as overloaded as I expected. I liked Bones but I'm not sure it even made sense. It seemed like the bad guy sort of appeared randomly in one of the last acts and then, !, they figured out there may be another bad guy but they never looked for him and instead resolved some character awkwardness resulting from last year's season finale. I added Bionic Woman and I'm on board for now. Every person I've mentioned this to has mentioned the original which really has nothing to do with this show except for the name and basic premise, being that some poor mangled woman was rebuilt using advanced technology and has super human powers. I watched the original and I loved it but then, I was about 13, it was like the show was invented for me. I think the new one has potential if they do interesting things with the characters and if nothing else, Starbuck is in it. I almost think her character is the most interesting.

Last week while the TV was on The Tube the Journey video for "Don't Stop Believin'" came on and it was a live performance from the Escape Tour. I know because I was a Journey fanatic at that point in my life and I saw that show at least twice, maybe three times. I helpfully told Bob the names of all the members of the band and a little bit about them which I'm sure he appreciated since I'm sure Journey was on the short list for his most loathed bands during that time.

Tomorrow afternoon we're going to a get together for some individuals who worked on a program for Bob's school. I'll keep the explanation short — there was a collaboration of various individuals to do an art/performance piece that uses digital media. Try here. I went to see it last night and they set up this grid in an open room and then use these "pucks" that activate certain lights, sounds and rhythms based on where the puck is on the grid. So the performers move around with the puck and one person activates rhythm tracks and the other person activates melodic tracks and at the same time certain light patterns flash. I'm sure I'm doing a terrible job of explaining it but it was really cool, both as an art piece but also made you think about the applications for this technology.

That's the scoop for now.

The Difference Between Guilt and Shame
Last night before class I visited with my yoga teacher, Denise, and the teacher who taught the class before ours.

Denise was telling a story about a difficult yoga student who was having an anger problem at class. (Sounds funny but this isn't the first time I've heard a story about a hostile student bumping heads with a yoga teacher.)

Then Theresa told about being a new student and having to do something in class that she didn't like or holding a pose too long and how it made her mad at the instructor. "Why is she making us do this? Bitch."

So then I told about being a new yoga student and not being able to do the poses or keep up with the class and how that made me feel mad at myself, because if I'd started yoga a long time ago, I could do this stuff already.

"And that," Denise said, "is the difference between guilt and shame." Then she left to help a new student get signed in.

Theresa and I looked at each and said, "But which is which?"

Health Care and XFiles In One Easy Post
Yesterday was my annual exam which is no big deal except I had to wait one hour for what was 5 minutes with the doctor. Kind of a burn, but why don't I be grateful that I don't have to go that often. At least I brought my own reading material. According to the nurse, I'm at exactly the height/weight that I have on my driver's license. There should be an award for that. First I wrote plaque – but seriously, who wants a plaque? How about a $5 discount on your co-pay for your next visit?

I don't know enough about the health care business to have a strong opinion on what's going to fix it. I think everybody involved could use improvement, starting with the doctors and moving on to the insurers, the drug companies and then to the patients, themselves. I think you need to get all those parties in a room talking before making any big billion dollar health care reform.

One thing I don't understand about the insurance I have now, is the blizzard of paper that follows every appointment. A couple of years ago I had a series of health issues which weren't serious but involved about 6 trips to the doctor in 6 months – highly unusual for me. Every trip and every lab test involved a separate statement from the clinic, sometimes 3 or 4 pages long. Then a statement from the insurance. Then a statement from the clinic. Then a statement from the insurance. Then I'd get a bill from the clinic for $11. How much did the time, energy and resources cost for them to get $11 out of me?

My most recent Netflix was the first disc of the first season of The XFiles. I was a huge XFiles fan. I thought I started with the first season but looking at the episode guide, I started with the second season. The wiki says the series debuted in September 93 and it holds up really well. Mulder's hair is funny and Scully's wardrobe with the fancy suits with giant shoulders look ridiculous but the stories are still good.

I remember looking forward to that show on Friday nights. End of the work week. Crack open a cold beer. I was living in my Aunt Aileen's basement and I had already met Bob but usually I didn't see him until Saturday so it was my show. Also that was when I first got on the Internet and alt.tv.x-files was my first usenet group and XFiles fandom led to my one and only time in a chatroom, I joined an XFiles chat on AOL. They were teenaged boys and on the east coast, so they'd already seen a show that hadn't aired where I was. Yeah, it seems obvious now but at the time it was all new and weird.

I've been wanting to watch the first three seasons again for awhile. That's one of my winter projects.

The Faun in This Movie is Not Mr. Tumnus
Yesterday I watched Pan's Labyrinth which won some Oscars but apparently not best foreign film. I thought it did.

It was very well reviewed and it's a great movie but I think marketing it as a fantasy is a huge mistake. The setting is post-civil war Spain and there are some grim and brutal things going on in this film. It pushed the limit of my violence threshold. I needed a hug after it was over. The Wikipedia article is really good with interesting notes about casting but there are spoilers so don't look at it until after you've seen the movie. I do recommend, if that's not clear.

Yesterday I spent a huge part of the day on the couch with the vampires. That's three consecutive Saturdays, if you're keeping track. My reviews are here. I loved the books but I'm glad I'm done. Well, at least until Fall of 08. I have some reservations about these books but I loved the characters and was willing to follow them through all 1600 pages. I was just going to confess what a nerd I've been about these books but changed my mind. If you'd like to be a nerd, too, you can read a chapter of the first book written from the vampire's point of view. I read all 20 pages as slowly as possible, thinking, "only 9 pages left," "now, only 4 pages left. Must make this last." Well, now I've told you what a nerd I am. Like you're surprised.

I think it's time to do some updates on the main books page. I need to update my recommendations and write some descriptions. The list that's there hasn't been updated in eons.

I have 2,000 other things on my list for today but I'll add this to the bottom and maybe in 2010 I'll get to it.

My arms are sore today and at first I couldn't figure out what was going on because I skipped yoga yesterday and hung out with Bob, instead. I did his big hill walk which is a nice workout. Yesterday I did some hedge clipping and the hedge hog (electric clipper) isn't heavy but I was holding it over my head and between that and the raking, I got my upper body workout in. Meanwhile, every corner of the yard I worked on yesterday had a giant spider sitting in the middle of a giant web. Where do all these spiders come from? Have they been growing all summer? Did they come out because the weather got cooler? I felt bad destroying all their work.

Dangerous Metal
A long time ago I was really into metal bands, including gnarly stuff like Anthrax and other stuff I can't even remember any longer. I liked Megadeth. I'm trying to remember if I ever saw them live and I don't think so.

I think the craziest show I went to was Helloween and I can still listen to that. I'm pretty sure Armored Saint was the headliner and the crowd was insane and I was bumped around and my watch torn from my wrist. My friend Yvette dragged us out of the pit which took over everything including the nice place we were standing. I also saw Racer X a couple of times and those shows were pretty crazy. Crazy means rowdy mosh pit and ratio of men to women about 10,293 to 1.

Even as I write this, it's hard to believe that I'm the person I'm writing about. It seems like a long ago dream. A few years ago I pulled out my Megadeth tape and I lasted about 1.5 songs. I used to like the noise to fill up my head. These days I like the sound of my thoughts a lot better.

I think I've written this before but when I was in college I had a friend that was quite a bit older than me and she told me that some day I would be more comfortable with my thoughts and wouldn't need all that loud noise. I thought she was crazy. Turns out she was right.

If anyone knows Whitney of Santa Barbara: tell her she was right.


A couple of years ago I wrote a story about my love of metal which you can find here. Back in the day I read about this thrash metal band called Savage Thrust and bought their record and the guy at the record store asked me if I knew them. I did not. But apparently I wrote them a fan letter which I have zero memory of.

I was never a huge fan letter writer but every once in awhile I'd jet off a little love note to a band. These days I'm big on writing complaint letters to websites where I think the usability is crap. Recent recipients are the Columbian (local news) and the federal government bookstore with a terrible, terrible search function.

Savage Thrust (Ed) sent me a postcard which I have scanned for your reading pleasure. My poor scrapbook is falling apart because I keep cutting stuff out to scan.


Ed found my post and told me there's a tribute site. Savage Thrust. You should go check out what you missed.

A Good Duct Cleaning
Today we had our ducts cleaned. I remember we had it done when we first moved into this house and we were on track to get it done on the 3-5 year cycle they recommend. Then somewhere along the way we (obviously, I suppose, 3-5 years after we had the first cleaning) started putting it off until next year.

One of the people who serviced the furnace said since we didn't have pets or kids, we probably could stretch it a bit. I wanted to take care of it this year and when I phoned the new furnace company I got a referral and got them to come out today. Turns out it's been 9 years which is too many. The guy peeked in one of the vents and exclaimed "yahoo!" as if he'd just discovered the mother lode. "It's definitely time," he said. He also came up from the basement with a scrunched up filthy thing which apparently is a filter that we're supposed to replace regularly.

In my defense: I can't be in charge of everything.

The vacuum process was louder and there was more activity and it took longer than I remember. But then, I can't remember anything about 9 years ago. I thought I could get a few things done while they worked but I kept crossing paths with them and eventually gave up and went outside to read.

Now they've gone and I've started too many cooking projects. I have more applesauce on the stove. I made the Roasted Tomato Soup which is warming. I have cookies half started. I guess I'll leave the granola for tomorrow. I also want to bake an apple pie this weekend.

In other news I started watching a movie called The Break-Up which was completely dreadful. Was it a romantic comedy? A dramady? It was too silly to be serious and the humor wasn't funny. Hot babe falls in love with schlumpy guy and works her ass off to create a nice home while all he wants to do is play pool in the living room. I'm supposed to find this entertaining? I quit after 1/2 hour and went back to reading my vampires in high school book which, I'm ashamed to admit, I did find entertaining.

In the midst of the big vacuum, Bob came home. He's working but had a doctor appointment and thought he'd sneak home for a quick nap before he headed back to school because he's going to see Sonny Rollins tonight. He left after 15 minutes. He said it wasn't relaxing.

I have a half a post sitting here that I'm going to try to finish and post for Saturday and then tomorrow will be no computer day.

I Want Candy

I know, weather talk is boring. In one place I read that this was supposed to be a mild winter. You know, global warming and all that. The prediction for this part of the world is a terrible winter. Lucky us. Because we've had a bad summer and the bad appears to be continuing with unseasonally cool weather all week. Historically, September and October are kickass months here. I should have at least 6 more weeks of open-toed shoes.

When it's hot, I don't have much of an appetite but as soon as the weather cools off, watch out. I've been meaning to take a photo of my chocolate collection. I have, I think, 3 boxes of Mozart Kugeln. One opened red box at the office, one opened red box at home, one unopened red box in the freezer plus an unopened box of the round ones in the freezer. This is my favorite candy but I can't eat them that fast and Bob doesn't eat them so they are all mine, mine, mine! I also have a box of macadamia nut chocolates from colleague.

Me, modeling my favorite candy, in 2000




He went to Hawaii twice this year and the first box I brought home to share with Bob because he does eat those. Two days after I brought it home, he came to me, head hanging, and said he had a confession to make. There was only one chocolate left in the box. I told him he could have it and when Billy brought me a box (technically, I demanded it) from his second trip, I left it at the office so I could enjoy at my leisure. I just ate one 5 minutes ago. I also still have a gift certificate from Hannah for a pound of See's Candy.

My point being, I am well stocked on chocolate for now. Mom, Dad – I know they're a pain to transport but a big tube of Prinzen Rolle would be my first choice. Or a brick of Hanuta. I mean, if you're hanging around the candy area of Karstadt and thinking of your oldest daughter, that might be an idea of something to bring me from your trip.

What I intended to write about when I started this post was how we might have to turn on our furnace in September if this crapo weather doesn't take a break. We didn't like our old furnace company and wanted to switch and this was something that we left on the backburner forever. I finally dealt with it the past week and we now have an appointment set up to get the house power-vac'd and another appointment to get the furnace tuned-up and we're on the schedule to get our oil tank topped off.

At least we're prepared.

Johnette Napolitano: Scarred

I have three artists that I have loved consistently since the 80's: Paul Westerberg, Bob Mould and Johnette Napolitano.

I started loving them in different incarnations. Paul in The Replacements, Bob in Hüsker Dü and Sugar and Johnette in Concrete Blonde. In 2002, I got to see all three of them play in Portland (not at the same time) which was like triple threat Christmas for me.


One of my top ten favorite concert memories is going to this show in Hollywood, all by myself. Back then when there was a show I wanted to see, I made sure I saw it and having someone to go with wasn't a necessity. I still like to do things by myself. A Friday matinee is one of my favorite treats like last Friday I went and saw Harry Potter #5 which was my least favorite of the movies so far, but still, fun. Is it just me or has every one of those kids had a giant growth spurt except Harry?

The Concrete Blonde show was super fabulous. I got right up to the front and the band sounded great and Johnette has so much energy and such a powerful voice, it was one of those shows that sticks in your head.

I'm not sure how to put this but I often don't like female singing voices. When that whole Lilith Fair thing was going on and for a brief moment in history you could hear two or three women artists in a row on the radio, it was great for gender equality but I think some women sound like babies when they sing and this makes me want to stick forks in my ears. Johnette does not have one of these voices.

In August, Johnette played a solo/acoustic lunchtime show in Portland which I wrote about here. And I was contacted and asked if I'd like a copy of the big solo album to write about here. What are the rules when this happens? Are you supposed mention it or pretend like you ran out and bought it on your own? It seemed sketchy not to mention it and I *LOVE* the cd and would have raved about it anyway so not like I'm just pimping by rote.

The photo is a crop from the cd cover and I don't know who to credit so we'll say Hybrid Recordings. I think this is fair use but you never know these days.

You can go to myspace and hear some songs right now. Listen to Amazing ("Amazing you're amazing / And I am only OK") and The Scientist ("Nobody said it was easy / /Nobody said it would be this hard") my two favorite songs on the disc. Actually, I like the song Scarred, too, which isn't on myspace but for good reason because it's a song you want to listen to in private. It's a scary honest song about pain and healing.

I am finally getting the myspace thing. Johnette's page is one of the first I've seen that didn't look like a big ugly mess. I love that you can listen to songs. I remember the days long ago when I had to buy records before I heard them. I think that was shortly after the invention of the wheel. Johnette loves Almodovar, too! And John Trudell is one of her friends. I'm not doing myspace because I can barely keep up with blogging and Flickr. I don't need any more excuses to hangout online nor do I regularly need to be reminded that I have only 3 friends.

Not long ago I was joking around with friend about seeing some 80's rock band, I can't remember which one. She had gone to see them at the county fair and they played some new songs and she was like: "Who cares about new songs? Play the old hits." Which made me think how many artists can you think of that put out consistently good music for over 20 years?

I was afraid I wasn't going to like this and turns out I've been carrying it around with me so I can listen to it in the car and at the office. My first heavy rotation disk in a long time. Thanks, Nadine.

I'm working on a post but I *still* haven't finished it so we're going for another half-asser until tomorrow.

Last week we went to the dry cleaners. Colleague had 3 pair of pants and I had 1. As we walked in he noticed the sign that said: "Clean 3 pair, get 1 free."

He said: "Damn, I should have waited until I had one more pair."

I put my pants on his pile. Score, he got the deal.

As we were walking away, I said, "You realize this didn't benefit you whatsoever."

He said, "Yeah, I got the deal." (And he picked up my pants from the dry cleaners. Score!)

In other news, my dear husband has a giant crush on Drew Barrymore. I have pledged not to stand in their way, should she fall madly in love with him.

There have been rumors lately that she's been hanging out with the Mac guy — and I figured this would break his heart. But when I said, "The Mac guy" - he said, "You mean Hodgeman?"

Poor Bob was hopeful because Hodgman is a well-fed, nerdy glasses wearing guy and I guess he thought he might have a shot.

The Mac guy, I said.

Early To Bed
I was ready for bed at 7:30p last night but I didn't actually crawl in until 8p and didn't turn out the light until 8:30p. Bob was already asleep. I had to move his laptop and turn off the movie he was "watching."

On the occasions where we go to bed that early I'm always worried someone is going to phone. What are they going to think if they wake us up before 9pm?

A couple of weeks ago our thermostat acted strangely. It seems like we've had long stretches of weather this summer that were at the threshold. Not really warm enough to kick on the air but almost.

One night I noticed the air kicked on after 7pm when I had all the windows opened. I figured it was warmer than I thought and closed everything up. A half hour later the air was still blasting and the thermostat said it was 80 degrees in the house. When it went to 82 I turned off everything and reopened the windows and wondered how serious this problem was. I noticed a weird display on the screen and part of it said "batt." The other part said something like "6|o9b" but I guessed it was the battery.

I found the user book and read what it said about batteries but I couldn't figure out how to get the unit open. I pulled, pushed, squeezed and slid but everything seemed like it was going to break it. The user book offered no clues of how to do this.

I checked the website. In fact, numerous sites would let me download the same user book I already had. No one said how to get the thing open.

I jotted off an email to the contact at the website that I needed a new battery and didn't know how to do it and they responded to open the unit and replace the old one. I realize my question was poorly worded but it would seem that anyone smart enough to walk upright would know where the battery went, the thermostat is about as big as a pack of cigarettes.

I sent another note, explaining that I couldn't get the unit open and a guy named Woody sent me instructions: you need to insert the tip of a screwdriver into the seam and twist. Worked perfect. I think they should put that in the book.

Finally, one of my favorite online quotes of all time at my new fave guilty pleasure website Jezebel.

She's interviewing this guy on the phone (backstory omitted) and in response to his question of whether she's hot:

Um, not right now. I fix up okay. But "hot" isn't, like, my selling point. I'm more of a "fun" type person. Like, I am really hungover right now, and probably not looking so good, but it's because I was "fun" last night. Anyway I'm not sure why I'm telling you this.

Def Leppard and Styx at the Clark County Amphitheater September 12, 2007

Subtitle: Bringing On the Hottie

Last night was the big rock and roll girls night out starring Def Leppard and Styx at the Amphitheater in Clark County. I've never been to this venue before but I've heard a lot about it because there was a huge contingent of locals who weren't too happy about it being built. Also, Clark College graduation is there so Bob gets to visit every June.

Rock and roll is tiring when you're old. My eyeballs feel like they spent the night in a dust bowl. I was too wound up to sleep when I got home and then I woke up at 4:45am. By 5am this morning, I was dorkily fixing the photos, wondering if this outing was worthy of a Flickr stream. Given the time constraints and upon closer inspection of the photos, I decided, not.

I finally got lithium batteries for my camera and it works a million times better. They should tell you that in the user guide. Last night I accidentally hit the "scene" button which is where the camera helps you take a portrait or landscape or whatever. I never use it so I don't know how it works but it kept making a smiley face that was creeping me out. I'd have the camera pointed at the blanket and there would be a giant smiley face on the screen.



Here we are, ready to rock. That's me, Jenny, Meredith, and Cousin Kathy. The last concert Kathy and I went to together was Spinal Tap sometime in the 90's. It's been too long.

We headed out at 7pm raring to go. Before we were 3 miles down the road we all agreed that we were game to head home early, if we were ready. I wish I could go back and visit my 23 year old self and tell her how tired her 43 year old self will be. But then, why go and depress her. How excited would I be if some old lady hobbled up to me and said she was my 63 year old self and I had no idea what tired was at 43? Well, if she had lottery, horse-racing and stock tips, I would be happy.

One of the local issues was with traffic flow and wow, this place is set up like a well-oiled machine. There were blinking signs, orange cones, flashing Washington Patrol lights and Officers waving at us from every direction. We had 4 people in our car so we qualified for Y.E.S. (your enhancement of service) Parking and I had printed out our pass and we taped it to our windshield.

As we were finding our lot, I told the ladies about Hysteria: The Def Leppard Story a movie about the band. They'd never heard of it. I hope I still have the tape stashed somewhere because it so totally worth watching.

A young man who looked about 12 and wearing a orange vest waved us into a lot close to the venue and even better, close to the exit.

We marched in with the crowd and stopped to get our drinking bracelet. The guy made it clear he was looking at my ID only to humor me. Inside we threw down our blanket and Kathy and I ran out to buy our $9 beer.






Styx was already rocking when we returned, the lights low, the smell of Otto's jacket wafting over the grass and the keyboard pounding Blue Collar Man (Long Nights). Doesn't get any better than that.

Last year I wrote about my teenage infatuation with Styx here. Kathy said she and Jennifer (another cousin) had a big crush on Tommy Shaw back in the day and used to fight over him. I said: "Jennifer's not here. He's all yours." Kathy knew the words to all the songs and laughed at the keyboard player who had a rig where he could run around in circles and I think he was contractually obligated to do 50 circles per song.

Styx did a very Las Vegas super exaggerated show with every rock and roll cliché in the book including synchronized guitar swinging and hair flipping, and they were FABULOUS. And they played all the songs we wanted to hear.



At the break we zoomed to the bathroom which was like: Toilet Barn. I kept saying they had about 60 stalls but they had two sides so it was more like 120 stalls – no waiting! The person(s) responsible for that should have a statue at the entrance and possibly a legal holiday in their honor.

Crowd watching was fun. About as diverse as they come. Well no hipster types with distinctive eyewear. The mullet watch was a wee bit disappointing. Old. Young. People with kids. There was a group of teenagers sitting in front of us that weren't even alive when I listened to Pyromania 10 times a day for a year.


Can you believe it? Almost 24 years to the day, I saw Def Leppard for the first time on the Pyromania tour. That is a story in itself but this post is already 10 times too long. It's impossible to convey how insane I was over this band.

I even wrote a sort-of record review of Hysteria (which, initially, I was disappointed with) in the form of a letter to the editor of Creem magazine which was printed and reappears here.


These shots of the stage are an intentional joke because how can you get a decent shot of a stage from 5 miles back with a cheapo camera? That's Joe Elliot in the lower left corner. See him?

I'm sad to tell you that Def Leppard was pretty much doodoo. As we returned from the bathroom (me for the 3rd visit because apparently if 1 beer goes in, 10 must come out) I said, "I'm disappointed with the sound" and Meredith said, "I'm disappointed with the setlist." And she was right. Except for Foolin' and a few songs off High N'Dry, they didn't play songs that you wanted to hear.



This particular potty break took place at the end of the guitar solo-bass solo sequence leading in to cover of Rock On. Guys, I don't care how tired you are of playing the hits, you're playing a short set and that's what we came for.

Shortly after we got back to our seats, the band played an acoustic version of Bringing on the Heartbreak.

Meredith says: "More unplugged? That's enough."

Moments later we were out in the parking lot, still empty, hearing the classic Photograph riff, the one song we wanted to hear, drifting over the barrier.

"We can listen to it at home," I said.

It was still fun and we zoomed out of the parking lot and I was in bed by 10:45pm.


Here's my new notepad. I can wear it around my neck for easy note taking. A couple years ago Bob gave me that pen which is also a teeny flashlight – perfect for note taking in the dark. The left side says, "Or is he [referring to Styx's keyboard guy] original? Big lighter moment-I used my pen!" and the right side says, "wow synch guitar swing hair flipping AWESOME!"

When Styx played Come Sail Away it was the lighter in the air moment and I waved around my flashlight pen. Remember the big Come Sail Away moment on Freaks and Geeks?

Here's a link to Meredith's review of the show.

I hate to hit the publish button because I'm sure this is filled with errors and grammar nightmares but I'm tired and have to work for a living so this is what you get. If you're still reading.

Butter Bar
I thought about making a list of 10 things I would never write about here and then writing about each one. But the only things I could think of I would never write about.

Several decades ago when I was in college I ate buckets and buckets of air popped popcorn on a daily basis. At the time I was a major binge eater and calorie-wise 10 cups of popcorn was a better choice than a loaf of bread with peanut butter. It was also cheap and tasty and had an enjoyable crunch to it. And when I say better choice, I was a poor college student and couldn't afford a new pair of fat pants every 2 weeks.

My popcorn eating dropped off dramatically after college, but I owned an air popper for a long time and made popcorn now and then.

About 10 years ago I had a popcorn ordeal where shortly after eating popcorn my gum became inflamed. I vigorously brush and flossed and had swelling and terrible pain for my troubles.

I finally did an emergency trip to the best dentist on the planet, Saint Shoneen Sendelback, who moved so I can't see her any longer. It's been years and I'm still not over it. Dr. Sendelback with a touch like angel breath, very carefully examined my poor tooth and gum and couldn't find anything. She decided to give it a good cleaning and give me some rinse and we'd have to wait and see.

During the cleaning she found, deep in my gum, a tiny piece of popcorn kernel the size of a pencil tip. That tiny thing was what was making me so miserable. My mouth was tender but back to normal and I quit eating popcorn.

I will eat kettle corn but I prefer not to have it in the house because it's one of those foods that I eat 10 pounds of in 5 minutes, shoving it in my mouth faster than I can chew. I'm the black widow of kettle corn.

A couple of years ago my office merged with a larger law firm (start at Feb 23). These people microwave popcorn every single day. What is up with offices and microwave popcorn? I wish I invented it.

The Future’s Open Wide
Last night I gave blood at yoga. I bet you thought it was just a bunch of women with ponytails stretching on mats and not a blood sport. I don’t have time to find a photo for you (try this) but it’s a pose where you balance on your forearms, Pincha Mayurasana. A couple of weeks ago I was trying a variation using the wall for balance so I was up there for awhile wiggling around and ended up wearing a raw spot on both elbows.

The raw spots turned into scabs and the scabs rubbed off a little last week and one totally came off last night. For the first time in my yoga career I have to scrub blood off my mat.

In other news, one of my very favorite songs of all time is I Melt With You by Modern English. It’s one of those songs that I can listen to over and over, I can hear it anytime and it always sounds good. One of my favorite movie moments is the end of Valley Girl when that song starts.

You can imagine my horror when last night I heard my favorite song pimping some new product in a commercial for Taco Hell. The wiki says it’s been used in a number of other commercials but I guess I never noticed. I was so distraught, I had to go to bed early.

My Latest Disaster

It’s hard to believe that I can be so consistently lame at something I do so often. Another pie crust disaster, possibly my worst disaster of all time. I have a folder filled with “no fail” crust recipes and for some reason I decided to try a different one yesterday which is a half butter, half shortening and turned out this pile of crumbs. Thanks a lot, Sunset.

As soon as I saw what a mess it was I took the recipe out of the folder and tossed it into recycling. Then after I “rolled out” the bottom crust I took the recipe out of recycling, violently crumpled it up and threw it on the floor and stomped on it and then I put it back in recycling.

If you’ve ever made a graham cracker crust, you know how you mix the crumbs with butter and then smush them into the pie pan? That was more or less my method. At the end of the day all we need are yummy peaches mixed with a delicious baked crumble. I just kept the pie pan shape to humor myself.

The top crust went equally bad and I scraped up crumbs and flattened them with my fingers and then lay the resulting crumb blob onto bare peaches. Then I took this picture.

Every time I see one of my photos like this I think: I need to spring for a better camera. And then I think how little sense it makes to have a fancy camera to photograph baking mayhem. You can guess the punchline: it tasted fabulous.

Also, Children of Men is an excellent movie.

Another Productive Weekend in Paradise

Photo: Until very recently a working farm in Vancouver. No doubt soon to be 5 trillion giant houses on tiny lots and a Walmart.

After my epic day of errands on Friday morning, my weekend productivity took a dive. I'll reprint my most recent book review here to give you an idea why.

27. Twilight (498 pp.) by Stephenie Meyer (Sep 8). I did a foolish thing. If you're a regular reader, you know I've been having a problem reading anything resembling serious fiction. Maybe I should call it challenging fiction. The book I'm really reading right now is called Snow and the author won the Nobel Prize and it's really good and I'm halfway through it but it isn't something that I've wanted to curl up with for a few hours. On Friday I used a bookstore giftcard I had and grabbed this book with a couple of others and came home and set them in the immediate "to read" area which is right next to the bed. (Different from the "to read" shelves which are in my room.) I knew better but I decided to peek at this book, just read a few pages to see what I thought. I read some young adult reviewers who were swooning about it. I told Bob it was vampires in high school and it the most overwrought star-crossed lovers romantic teenage wishfulfillment story of all time and I could not put it down until it was finished. And I just ordered the next two in the series, in hardcover, so they will be here by the end of the week.

I did manage to make the risotto last night which turned out A+. Bob said it was like a $15 entree. And this morning I made a loaf of No-Knead bread for a get together and later I will make a peach pie. We also hacked back some berry vines in the backyard that live in the middle of our hedge. I wanted to cut out the big long pieces that were draped into our yard. This is a tall person's job and I got the ladder and whatever radar people have that goes off when their children are about to hurt themselves went off for Bob because he doesn't have any children to use his radar on. He was outside in a flash asking me what I was doing.

I was already putting the ladder away by then because any place I could get the ladder stable was too far away to reach the berry vines. He took over and shortly thereafter we had ladders and long clippers and short clippers and rakes and electric hedge trimmers strewn all about and a big gash hacked out of the middle of our hedge. Cross that project off the list.

I saw in the paper that Women's World Cup Soccer is starting this week and I don't think I can manage a sports event right now. I can barely find the time to keep up with the 2 or 3 hours of shows per week I have that are on right now. And I've had a netflix (Children of Men) sitting next to the TV for a week now. Maybe I'll catch up after the group play.

This is a busy week. Tomorrow is yoga night. Tuesday is get together night. Wednesday is Def Leppard night. I'm predicting Thursday will be crabby, tired, just give me a bottle of wine and a piece of pizza and leave me alone night.

This morning as I got on Highway 14 from Interstate 5 I passed a man standing on the other side of the divider wearing a big fur hat with a gallon jug of milk balanced on the divider and he was writing notes on a piece of paper. What do you think that was all about?

I've lived in Vancouver 12 years next March and I finally figured out how to drive from Trader Joes to the Mall from the freeway. I think I've taken every single exit in the vicinity and made oodles of u-turns in my quest to find the right path. I like to think the signage was updated because now there's a sign for the mall that tells you what exit to take. But I can't be sure I just wasn't always doing it wrong before.

I think Trader Joes should hire me as a wine consultant. Every time I'm there I find myself recommending wine or giving feedback to other customers. I'm the expert on the $7 or less bottles of red.

I did a huge bunch of errands this morning. The only thing I missed was the credit union. I tried to find this branch I haven't been to in a long time and it took me awhile to figure it out and then when I finally found it and it wasn't there I remembered that I haven't been there in a long time because it's closed. By the time I would have gotten to my regular branch it would be Noon and everyone knows what a bad idea it is to do banking at Noon. That item will have to wait.



I tried a new product. I'm not a major makeup wearer but I throw a bit on every day. I don't know what I thought I was buying, some sort of light foundation type thing. This morning I put it on as I'd put on my regular and found myself smearing on a heavy layer of clown make up. I looked into the mirror and said, "Obviously, too much." So I went to wash it off and found that it had bonded to my skin like a rubber mask or something. Water was rolling off my skin. I totally panicked thinking this was going to be my face for the next 3 months and I was going to have to go around and be laughed at by strangers and explain to my co-workers that I'd applied a 3 week supply of make up to my face by mistake and now it was a permanent bond, please get used to it. Two cleansers and some raw red skin later: success.

Also this morning I was parked in the garage at our house. Normally I'm parked in the driveway. I'm so locked in to my habits, I got in the car, reached over for the garage door opener, hit the button and closed the garage door. While I was sitting in my car in the garage.

Fall Bulb-Tacular
When I was at Mom’s I grabbed her Breck’s catalog. It’s always been my intention to throw some more bulbs in the yard because when Spring finally comes, few things make me happier than to see bright colored flowers out in the yard.

My major bulb energy goes into my dahlias which reminds me, I haven’t taken any dahlia photos for several weeks. Or pumpkins. I need to get up to speed here. (The photo is an old one from Flickr.)

Dahlias are summer bulbs and I have more than I need already. I’m going to dig up a bunch of red ones (maybe) and see if any neighbors want them or perhaps engage in some creative vandalism and toss them into some dirt somewhere. The Breck’s catalog is spring bulbs and I’ve got a decent supply of daffodils and a few tulips and miscellaneous but could use improvement.

I’ve gone through the catalog twice with my ultimate wish list and then cutting back to be more realistic and then cutting back to my budget. Now I have to be practical about what I will actually be willing to put into the ground. This is my problem with spring bulbs is that usually in the fall I’m done with the garden. I want to pull everything up and then sit in the house and drink hot cocoa and watch my shows or read books.

Right now, sitting here in my office with my tea, looking at photos of beautiful flowers, I’m totally optimistic about how much work I’ll want to do. Think of the payoff. But I know myself well enough that I can see myself cursing at my giant box of bulbs and making one big hole in the middle of the yard and dumping them in and being done with it.

The current list is 108 bulbs. I’ll decide tomorrow whether to cut it back or not.

More Notes

It turns out my bank doesn’t take rolled coins. Actually she said it depends on the branch. But the downtown Wells Fargo at 5th and Jefferson will take your big bag of coins and throw it in the coin counter. No need to spend the afternoon rolling your coins. Wouldn’t that information have been handy a few days earlier?

===

I watched Marie Antoinette on Monday night. I loved Lost in Translation (and reading about it online is making me want to see it again) and had been looking forward to this movie, even though the reviews were doodoo. And I thought the movie was doodoo. I liked parts of it and the eye candy was fun but after awhile I got bored watching people in fancy clothes walking through the garden with trendy music playing.

===

Another thing I’ve been meaning to ask related to my “miracles of white vinegar” post was that my dishwasher instructions suggest running vinegar through the machine once or twice a year. How do you do this? Do you just pour it in the bottom? Do you do it with the dishwasher full or empty? This seems like something that requires more information.

===

When the season changes I like to have some goals for kitchen skills. Like one winter it was bread. And bread continues because I’m a slow learner at bread. This winter my kitchen project is going to be paella and risotto.

Time for a Cover: One Tin Soldier

I only have one friend from high school that I keep in touch with on a regular basis. Or even on an irregular basis when you get right down to it. We went to the same college and remain close with a group of college friends that keep in touch thanks to the magic of the Internet.

Last week she sent a note to the group with a photo of her daughter on her way to her first day as a freshman in high school.

We exchanged a couple of notes trying to remember something about our freshman year and between the two of us, the memories are mighty skimpy.

I found my freshman yearbook yesterday because I was cleaning out shelves and cupboards doing some amateur level de-cluttering. I flipped through it and in the very beginning found a picture of her husband, who also went to high school with us, so I had to scan that. Then I found our picture on a page that said Symphonic Band.

We were in band in high school?

I have zero memory of this and I scanned those, too and sent them off to her and I got this reply: “We weren’t in band in high school.”

Yet, there is photographic evidence. How can this be? I’m sure there’s a good reason we’ve forgotten.

Money Magic

Look what I did yesterday. I rolled coins. That's not even half of our collection. I emptied the laundry coins and rounded up the bureau coins. Plus we both have our own coin cans and I made a pile from both.

I put back all the quarters and we still have tons for poker.

That's $50.50 in coins and it's all going into the orange Mini account. (Orange is my online savings. I probably want a grey or silver Mini.)

The money on the counter reminded me of some advice I saw on a website. Do you ever see advice on a website that is so beyond stupid that you want to call your Congressman and have the Internet repealed? I just looked for it to make sure I didn't make this up in my head and I couldn't find it so this could also be the product of an overactive imagination.

The article had to do with your home being robbed and they said that every criminal knows that everyone has a big wad of cash hidden somewhere in their house and no matter where you hide it, that criminal will find it. So they suggested that you "hide" a decoy wad of cash. A smaller amount and not so deeply hidden so that the criminal will think he found your money and be on his way leaving your real stash safe.

We don't have a big wad of cash hidden in our house. I didn't even know "everyone" did this. There is about $50 in coins not hidden and if the criminal is in such dire straits that he's willing to cart off 10 lbs of change I wish him well.

===

In addition to my busy day yesterday rolling coins, I also made a pie and worked on my myriad of never-ending projects which generally refers to organizing things, and I watched a movie called Half Nelson. It was very well reviewed and Ryan Gosling got an Academy Award nomination for his performance. I enjoyed it a great deal but I don't know how to describe it. It's about this teacher who's an addict and his friendship with one of his students who's also having a hard time and how they help each other out. But it's a quiet movie. Worth tracking down.

===

I think our next door neighbors are moving. (Have moved?) The house next door is a rental and the first tenants lasted about 3 years and were completely invisible. I talked to them two times. Once when our netflix was delivered to their house and they brought it over and once the day they were moving. For the record, I'm not the friendliest person in the world. Not to say that I'm unfriendly. I wave and say, Hi and recognize lots of neighbors but I very rarely run over and stand in the street and visit, and organize block parties and have neighbors over for BBQ.

The invisible people moved and a man moved in with his son. We introduced ourselves and said hello when we were watering the yard or whatever. At some point man's girlfriend moved in and then it got weird and I'm not sure what went on. I think the son had a girlfriend there for awhile. Then another girl moved in who I think is a daughter. (And never have you come across a more charmless young woman.) And then another younger guy moved in.

And the original man disappeared. I actually was worried that maybe he had a terrible illness. A couple of weeks ago I saw him in the wee hours of the morning hitching the boat from the yard and driving off.

The main reason we pay any attention is the large collection of cars they have. If four people live there (girlfriend, son, daughter and other young guy) that means there are four cars. I'm not sure what any of the individuals does for work but I'm guessing restaurant or something involving shift work because cars come and go at all hours.

I'm not trying to say this was a bother because they aren't noisy nor do they do any other anti-neighborly things. I wonder how they manage because these are awfully small houses for 4 adults. Also there is no sign of anything resembling air conditioning and I've never seen an open window.

On Saturday they had a truck with a trailer and they loaded up boxes and then the truck and all four cars disappeared. For the first time in 3 or 4 years there isn't a single vehicle next door.

Headache
This was not at all the day I wanted to have. Bob and I got up early and went for a walk and I did a good yoga practice. But I've had a persistent headache all day long. Just enough to be annoying and/or distracting.

My energy went plotz and I ended up taking a nap even though I thought I was well rested.

I spent the day reading including much time outside. I thought the sun would cure me. I puttered around the house and baked some bread.

Oh well. A nice relaxing day. Tomorrow will be the no computer day.

Photo: Bob waits his turn at the drive through coffee place.