She Can Do The Splits



I took this photo for Keetha's benefit. Our traditional Christmas morning breakfast: huevos rancheros. This recipe looks close to how we do it. And by we, I mean my sister and Mom.

Yesterday I couldn't find some notes. I was positive I knew where they were so I kept checking the same place over and over even though they weren't there.

In the process I found a folder with ancient old journal stuff. Part is a travel journal from I think Fall 1979. The other is stuff from the 80's. Some of it is hilarious and some so pitiful I can't believe I never burned it.

There may be excerpts coming up.

I was reading the obituaries in my historical society magazine the other night. They're really sweet. They always have a photo of the person young and then the person old. They're always well loved people with interesting lives.

One of them was for this lady who died in her late nineties. In the first paragraph it said that she had lettered in basketball and had participated in gymnastics and could do the splits.

I ran to find Bob and said: Please put that in my obituary. "She could do the splits!"

Best Christmas Ever!

Back from holiday. It was fantastic.

First, check out this photo of Bob with the Grinch. That was from Idaho.

If you don't remember, last Christmas was ruined. We had such bad weather we didn't get to see family. We had no tree and barely any presents. We did have a nice dinner, just the two of us.

This year totally made up for it.



We had an uneventful drive down. We ran into a tiny bit of snow on one of the mountains but otherwise, clear sailing.



My Dad made this for my Mom. I said it should be in a museum.

We went mushrooming with Mom and Auntie.

I've never been before. We tumbled out of the car and in about three seconds Mom took off up the steep, heavily brushed and leaf-slick mountain in one direction and Auntie took off in the other. I tried to scramble along stupidly wearing my giant coat, carrying my camera in one hand and my pen and notebook in the other.

When we went to the next stop, I didn't make that mistake. And I found my first mushroom. A Tan Oak. The photo is on Bob's camera. I show it later.



Later Erin showed up with the world's biggest lap dog.



This is a sign at Somes Bar at Hwy 96 and Ishi Pishi Road.

Every day we went on long walks with hills so we could keep eating and still fit into our pants.



Klamath River

The river was running fast and pretty.



For Christmas we all got big piles of books.

My Mom said, "Let's cancel dinner and sit around and read."

But we didn't.



Here's the Pamily at dinner. People love it when you take photos of them while they're eating.

Great time. Glad to be home. I'm going to the office tomorrow and then taking off until Jan 4. Yay.

Happy Holidays 2009

Holiday newsletter is as close to complete as it's going to get.

You can find it here: PamNewsletter v19

It includes a holiday story that you can find here: The Pie Maker's Curse.

I'm going to go offline for a few days enjoying the holidays. Back soon.

Christmas Party Season

Bob and I got to go to a Christmas party (work related) in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho a couple of nights ago. We flew from Portland to Spokane and the Resort picked us up and brought us to town.



Lake Coeur d'Alene

We arrived starving. We threw our bags down and set off for a little walking tour.



Fifth and Sherman

One of our super powers is finding great little restaurants in new places we visit and we did great on this visit. We found Scratch where we had a huge lunch and rank it in our top ten restaurant meals of all time. Even factoring in that we didn't eat much all day until then. Smoked trout appetizer with some sort of cheesy-heaven dip, smoked lamb French dip sandwiches and signature salad with spinach, brie, candied cashews and pepper bacon.



We did a bit more walking around and then returned to our room for a quick nap before the big event of the evening.

The boat trip though the Christmas lights to the North Pole. I liked the sea monster. I also liked the Grinch but we need to wait for Bob's photos.



We saw both Mr. and Mrs. Claus who greeted all the kids by name. Then they made it snow and then lit the largest living Christmas Tree in the world. They had a ton more lights but by then my hands were cold and I didn't want to take them out of my pockets for more photos.

The music was a super dramatic version of Carol of the Bells.



We cruised back to the hotel and had a fabulous dinner which I could only eat about 7 bites of because of the giant meal earlier. Remember when I was young and could eat two pizzas, a loaf of bread with peanut butter, a carton of ice cream and a package of Oreo cookies? Sometimes I miss those days.

Not really.

We have a quiet weekend at home to get geared up for the rest of the holidays.

Ice on the car's sunroof. (From Idaho trip)

Broken

I wish I had a spreadsheet from my whole life that would show how many books I ended up never buying because the moment I had my wallet in my hand the book was only available in hardcover.

Minor tragedy. We had someone come over and work on these leaking problems we've been having. They can't guarantee it because there's no way to be sure how the water is getting in. Whatever they did, didn't work.

Boo! This is at least the fourth attempt, this one being the most extensive. They said if this didn't work they'd need to start pulling up siding. You know what's not in the budget right now? Siding.

Bob and I are headed out for a little xmas adventure. Hopefully photos and details tomorrow.

Kootenai River, Idaho

My Girls

I can't tell you how hard it's been not to write an update after every single episode of the Gilmore Girls. I get those DVDs and I sit in front of my TV with my knees under my chin and my fists pressed against my mouth and I repeat over and over, "I love this show. Why isn't everyone watching this show?"

And they were. In 2000. I'm watching a show that was a hit almost a decade ago. Bob said: you're revisiting the decade through your show. This is the chickiest show ever. It was like it was invented for me. There was an episode where they went to see The Bangles.

Thank the world for DVD. I am going to have one excellent xmas break. I am only on Disk 6, Season 1. There are 36 disks left. 30 if I skip season 7 as I've been advised.

I promise I won't keep talking about it.

In other news. Have I recommended My Cardboard Life? It makes me smile almost every time I read it. I think you should check it out. I know, I hate when blogs try to tell you what to do, but this is trying to make you smile.

I'm trying to get into the holiday spirit and yesterday I wrapped a few gifts that I'd bought. At least I started.

We had this giftwrap roll that was still in the plastic. I unwrapped it and it had texture, like a sand painting. I wrapped my gift and the tape wouldn't stick.

What kind of moron invents gift wrap that tape won't stick to?

I had to get out some packing tape and put giant strips of that on it. How pretty! And I'm afraid to move it because if the tape doesn't stick I'm going to have a major hissy fit. Woo! Christmas.

Also, still annoyed by that chestnuts and open fire song. I don't care what version it is.

BUT, in Spokane I went to Cabelas. It is probably one of the top 10 stores on the planet. It's huge and filled with outdoor stuff. There was an aquarium. There was a shooting gallery. There was a giant room with guns. There was a diorama type thing in the middle with tons of stuffed bears and deer and elk. AND while I was there, they played Mannheim Steamroller my favorite Xmas music ever.

The Butt Post

Our office building management sent us a questionnaire last year. Maybe they do it every year. Last year was our first year here so I don't know.

They asked for suggestions and I suggested some sort of butt can for smokers. No matter how you feel about smoking, people do it. They have to do it outside and if there's no place to put the butt they throw it on the ground. Then there are oodles of butts all around when you walk outside the building.

I didn't think it would be a huge drain on building resources to stick a butt can out there and empty it once a day.

Apparently someone agreed with me because one day as I walked in, I noticed a butt can sorta like this one. Great.

Then the next day the panhandlers had knocked it over and spread the butts all over the ground looking for some tidbits to smoke.

And that was the end of the butt can.

I call this one: Wind Chill. We went for a walk yesterday afternoon at Vancouver Lake.

On Friday I was searching for an easy slow cooker recipe because I was going to be gone in the afternoon. Yikes there are bunches of crap recipes online. I ended up going for a slab of beef and a bunch of vegetables.

Last night we had leftovers and when we went to bed I asked Bob if there was any meat left.

Him: Yes, a piece about as big as a baseball.

Me: Wow, that's a lot left over still.

Him: My fist, it's about as big as my fist.

I'm trying to visualize this since it wasn't that big a piece of meat to begin with. How could we have such a big piece left?

Him: A baby's fist. It's about as big as a baby's fist.

Me: A baseball, your fist, a baby's fist? None of those things are remotely the same size.

Then we couldn't stop laughing and I told him he was bad at descriptions.



Dahlias

Now that I'm so old, every time I have a funny ache or a weird rash that doesn't go away after two days, I get paranoid that this is the beginning of something awful. And that six months from now when I finally go to the doctor carrying my head under my arm, he'll tell me if I had just come in when I got the funny ache, we couldn't have avoided all this.

Yesterday in the shower I found this ginormous bruise on my leg. I have no idea where it came from. And last week when I was standing in front of the mirror trying to make my bangs fan across my forehead instead of curling up like a mustache, I spotted a nice purple bruise by my elbow. I don't know where that came from either.

But I am really clumsy so just because I can't remember bashing into something doesn't mean I have bruising skin disease. Maybe I'll just try to pay better attention.

Here's a photo of the "to read" pile. It's actually over 2 months old and some of that stuff has been cleared out with new stuff added. But I'm too lazy to bring all the stuff from the various piles around the bed, nightstand and other reading supply annexes and stack them in one handy place for a new photo. (Is there some funky plural to annex? I'm too tired to look right now.) But aren't the Han Shot First bookends awesome?

Sorry if the titles are blurry. I think the stack on the upper left is the magazine pile which is greatly reduced since that time. I'm going to read like a fiend over xmas vacation.

On Friday I had to run just a couple of routine errands but about fifteen minutes in I was confident that I never have to hear "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire" ever again. Why is that song so annoying?

I've had another busy weekend. I'm so tired I can hardly see straight. I still haven't cleaned off my desk. There's a stack of "you have to do this" notes which I'm planning to ignore.

They're Out To Get Me

My desktop computer took a dump this morning because hey! I have nothing better to do than frick around with a computer. I don't think it's serious but I don't have time to deal with it because I'm going to an appointment in 3 minutes. Before that I was rushing around trying to get my dinner in the CrockPot so I could relax this afternoon.

Check out this gadget I saw an ad for last night when I was reading a magazine at 2am while I couldn't sleep. (Yeah, body way to go, teasing me with a couple of good nights and then betraying again. Thanks.)

The thing is called Zeo. It's your personal sleep coach.

Quote from the ad: "Why is it important? Knowing your ZQ allows you to make the adjustments necessary to sleep your best every night and feel your best every day."

WTF?

I'd love to rant longer but I'm running out the door.

It's True, I Used To Be Big On Virtuoso Guitarists

The big news is I slept through the night two nights in a row. I'm back among the living. Now if I can just get my email inbox under control and muster up some interest in Christmas shopping, life will be back on track.

I've had another favorite lyric sitting on my desk and I keep forgetting to write about it.

It's from Yngwie Malmsteen. I remember this particular song because Yngwie never had a very great band but Joe Lynn Turner sung on this album. I realize that, at the most, one person reading this right now has any idea what I'm talking about but stick with me because here comes the lyric and it's awesome. It's from the song: Riot in the Dungeons.

Oh, I feel something coming
Looks like a riot in the dungeon
You stand and die or start your running
'Cause there's a riot in the dungeon.

I know. Read it out loud a few times. It's a classic.

Coincidentally, I was reading an ancient notebook this morning looking for story ideas and I found this note:

Yngwie Malmsteen songs are like those Anne Rice talking head books. You keep waiting for something to happen.

Well, after one hour the night before, four hours last night was positively refreshing.

Just kidding. It's going to be awesome productive at the office today.

Last night was awesome.

I wasn't sleepy at 8:30pm. I wasn't sleepy at 9:30 or 10:30 or even 2am. Yeah. I never could fall asleep until about 3:30am and then I woke up an hour later.

I was quiet and boring all weekend and but I feel like I've been up dancing all night.

- - -

Last week during dinner Bob gave me a serious look. "I have bad news."

When people say they have bad news, isn't that usually a warm-up to "I crashed your car" or "I gambled away your life savings" or news that somebody died?

His bad news: my Gilmore Girls DVD wasn't available from netflix so they sent one of his movies instead. What's he going to say when he really has bad news?

They sent me a GG DVD later and I watched it this weekend. I'm new to the show and I love it. A million episodes to look forward to.

Looking north on Interstate 5

I'm having an unfortunate sleep problem. This has been going on every night for two weeks. About 8:30pm I'm so tired I can't keep my eyes open. I sit in bed with my book on my lap, checking the clock every 5 minutes.

As soon as it's 9pm, it's lights out. I fall asleep in two seconds.

I awake between midnight and 2am. I remain awake until about 30 minutes before I want to wake. I spend those waking hours fretting about random things: seemingly minor health issues, pending first fiction publication, zombies, the economy, aging, that scaly bit of skin on my ankle, bad breath, fiction writing, alien abduction and so forth.

I'm getting to the point where I'm so tired I'm either going to sleep through the night or go on a murderous rampage. I know what my first choice would be.

Bob and I had a fun weekend that included a number of long walks with steep hills. I have faith I will be able to button my pants for at least another couple weeks.

My mother-in-law is a zoo volunteer. On Wednesday night she took us to see the ZooLights. This was my first time seeing them and it was fantastic. I didn't take many photos but I liked these flying pigs.

Don't Stop 'til You Get Enough

On Wednesday I went to the DMV to renew my driver's license. My thinking was that the day before Thanksgiving was not going to be a mob scene at the DMV. I was right. Thirty minutes and I was driving back home.

But here's the thing that amazed me: I was the only person in the waiting area who brought stuff to read. Why would you go to the DMV without anything to read?



I took this photo because of the pumpkins. All the cute flying monkeys and giant rhinos but I took photos of the pumpkins. Also, I'm sending the zoo the following suggestion: aliens and a spaceship. Who wouldn't want to see that in lights?

Dinner preparations yesterday went okay. Not as smoothly as I would have liked.

One problem was this *&^% pie. I thought about doing the pie on Wednesday but I was feeling lazy and thought: how long can it take to throw some pumpkin in a shell and bake it?

Ha ha.

While I was going through my recipes I found the handout from my pastry class. It has almost a full page single-spaced narrative which gave me hope that I could make a decent pie crust if I just read the words. I have a lot of faith in words.

Bob and I went for a nice walk and he wanted to do some kitchen things so I did yoga and then when he was done I thought I'd get the pie out of the way and then tackle the recipes.

This pie crust recipe was the most high maintenance recipe ever. Do X and then let it rest in the refrigerator. Do Y and then let it rest in the refrigerator. All it has to do is hold baked pumpkin. How much rest does it need?

Meanwhile the filling was high maintenance, too. "Put the pumpkin in your food processor. Then heat it in pan. Then put it back in the food processor."

Nope. I'm already washing everything in this kitchen twice today. We're not hauling out the food processor for a freaking pie.

I FINALLY got the pie done and I still had all my other things to coordinate. Oh, also, when I quizzed Bob on the details on his acorn squash fries, he said he needed a 425 degree oven for 45 minutes.

"Yeah," I said. "Until one of us makes enough money to buy a house with two ovens, we're not having acorn squash fries on Thanksgiving."

So I substituted with a Mark Bittman that I can't find right now but involved roasting (cover your eyes AngelaWD) beets and tossing with olive oil, red wine vinegar, chopped toasted hazelnuts and gorgonzola.

The salmon cakes were a HUGE hit. I thought they were a tad too limey and I thought so when I was doing the recipe so I did the 2 tsps. of juice but I think I had barely 1 tsp. of zest. If I make again I'd cut back on juice and just do a sprinkle of zest.

The other big hit, which surprised me, was the quinoa, wildrice, sausage "casserole". Bob made an epic leftover plate today using that as a foundation.

The pie was delicious even though it was a pain in the ass to make and nobody went home hungry. So success overall.

We got new recycling bins. Instead of sorting our stuff into three little bins, we dump it all into this big bin. Except for glass which goes in a separate little bin. I probably should read the instructions in more detail. Our garbage cans are so small, you could maybe fit a 12 year old in one. This thing is so big you could fit a 12 year old, me AND Bob in it.

Part I

Last week when I was at the airport, I went to LameAss Airlines to see about the potential problem with my plane ticket.

The LameAss guy shook his head and said, "Oh no. That's a problem. On an international flight the ticket must be issued exactly like it says on your passport. But I can't help you."

LameAss Airlines has been purchased by Ginormous Airlines. This is the second time that LameAss Airlines has allowed me to purchase a ticket to fly on one of their planes but when I had a question told me they couldn't answer it, I had to deal with Ginormous Airlines.

So I walked to the other side of the airport where everyone at Ginormous Airlines was on a break. I flagged down a lady and she listened to my problem and then flapped her hands at me like how could I be so silly. "One letter different? That's no problem. Don't worry about it."

"You're sure?" I said. "I don't want to arrive for my international fight and find out I have a problem."

Her smiled disappeared. "I'll ask my colleagues." She then goes back to where the Ginormous Airlines employees were sitting around and said, "One letter off on the ticket isn't a problem is it?"

"Nope," they all agreed. "No problem."

I'm doomed.



Looking south on Interstate 5

Part II

Here's the tentative menu for tomorrow

Matt's Salmon Cakes with Easy Remoulade Sauce

Cedar Plank Salmon

Mark Bittman Quinoa-Wild Rice dish (#24)

Bob's Acorn Squash Fries (I don't know where he got the recipe. I think he said a vegan resource which if you know him, is pretty hysterical.)

Jay Lake's Knot Rolls.

and Cooks Illustrated Pumpkin Pie using pumpkin I grew myself.

I'm going to do a computer free day tomorrow since I haven't done one in forever and I want to spend the day hanging around the kitchen.

Photo courtesy of kworth30. Thank you for CC licensed photos. The photo was taken in Jan 04. There is no snow on the ground right now.

This morning on the bus in I saw a spectacular sunrise over Mt. Hood and then saw Rudolph on the Made in Oregon sign as we pulled into downtown. I didn't think they lit his nose until after Thanksgiving.

I want to get a new raincoat. The one I have is at least 5 years old and has a broken zipper. I think I can justify the expense. I had Bob help me with this arm measurement that they want you to do for the Internet order and took my data back to the size chart and learned that with that arm measurement, I am an extra-large.

When it comes to clothing I find it hard to believe I'm an extra-large in anything except children's sizes. Then Bob and I tried again and then decided to just take a couple inches off and use that measurement. It's sure going to be funny when my hobbit-sized raincoat arrives.

I'm working on my menus for food I want to make this weekend. I'm loving this 101 ideas list from Mark Bittman. We're probably skipping the traditional Thanksgiving dinner although I'm still up for making it if things change. Otherwise we're having salmon and I have a giant hunk so I'll probably try a couple of different things. I'll crack into my pumpkin supply and make soup and a pie. I'm thinking about doing a pot of gumbo.

I'm talking about over the whole long weekend, not just Thanksgiving dinner.

This past weekend I made my second favorite bread recipe, the Cook's Illustrated sandwich bread. It's fantastic toasted with butter or Nutella. Or both.

I started this post this morning and then got busy so I'm finishing it in a big rush. Back to work.

We did our annual Bob's Red Mill trek this morning. Serving breakfast starting at 6am. (We didn't get there until 8am)

Misheard Lyrics

Bob and I went on an long walk this afternoon when the rain stopped.

On the way home Bob randomly said: "What's up with that Madness song? 'Our house, in the middle of the street ... ' Was it really in the middle of the street?"

I said, "In the middle of OUR street."

He thought for a few seconds and then said, "OH. Like the middle of the block. I get it."



But that reminded me of my favorite song lyric of all time. I've probably already blogged about it because I love it so much.

It's from the classic Warrant album Cherry Pie from the song, Uncle Tom's Cabin and it goes like this:

Me and Uncle Tom were fishin' it was gettin'
Pretty late
Out on a cypress limb above the wishin' well
Where they say it got no bottom say it take
You down to Hell

- - -

They were fishing in a bottomless wishing well!?!?!?

I just hope I get to meet Jani Lane someday so I can ask him about it.

I Couldn't decide on a title so we have three:

Stephenie Meyer is Saving The Economy

or

I Can't Believe I Set My Alarm to Go See a Movie That Made Me Laugh Out-loud. At it.

or

I Switched Teams: Go Jacob

I don't even know where to start with this.

I am a veteran of the first-show-of-the-day-on-the-day-the-movie-opens-but-not-midnight-showing going back to 1983 when Episode VI was released when I was in college. I was not a person who ditched class but I retrieved my car from the far-reaches of dorm parking and snuck off without telling anyone what I was doing. I drove to downtown Santa Barbara at 9am and waited in line with five other college students who I'd never met before but who became my best friends for the next couple of hours. There was only a handful of people in the theater but I think that fact that I was supposed to be doing something else made the movie even better.

Since then I've seen lots of stuff. I saw Episodes I - III on the first day. LOTR I-III the first day. Both Narnia movies. Probably Golden Compass. Probably the second Matrix movie but not the third. I think one of the Harry Potters. I'm sure there are others.

I have never seen anything like I saw this morning.

Backing up a second. I ended up getting home later than expected last night. I thought about driving by the theater to check out the Twihard action on my way home but I was tired and hungry so I skipped it. I got online to double check that the 6am shows were still on. If I understand Fandango correctly: the 11-plex that's a couple miles north of us sold out eight midnight shows. Before I went to bed there were still three midnight shows on sale and a 3am show.

I was going to a different theater, downtown, which had sold out three midnight shows and added 2 more. These are just the two theaters closest to where we live.

By the time I had eaten and wound down last night I was in bed late (for me) but I set the alarm. When it went off it was dark and rain was beating against the window. I couldn't do it. But I woke up again 45 minutes later and decided to go for the 7am. I grabbed my shopping list (for after) and zoomed downtown completely prepared to be watching a movie with three other lame people.



The parking lot was full. I have seen this parking lot full one other time -- a Friday evening when Bob and I went to see something, possibly Kill Bill. At 6:50am the cinema parking lot was full. Well, there were two spots and I took one that was next to a post so I had to climb out through the passenger door.

There was one TV crew there and one morning radio crew. I put my money on the counter and the kid said, "What did you need?" Really? Hm, 7am. What are the choices?

The lobby was nuts. There were people, excuse me, women and young girls buying t-shirts and jewelry and taking their pictures next to cardboard cutouts of Bella and Edward. My show was in one of the big theaters and it was at least one third full. I'm still having a hard time believing all this.

All the trailers were for romantic movies. There was a Nicholas Sparks thing, a Michael Cera thing which I guarantee the trailer showed the best parts no need to go see it, something with Romeo and Juliet and a letter, Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin. There was a trailer with RPattz and the theater went silent.

If I ever get my hands on a time machine I'm going to go back in time and destroy everyone responsible for the notion that all visual entertainment must be accompanied by an emo soundtrack. WTF? Someone points to a YouTube clip of a hamster trying to crawl out of a paper bag. Cue: angsty guitar music with breathy vocals. Every trailer. argh! Every quiet moment in the movie. argh! Can we just watch something without someone trying to beat us over the head with the emotion they want us to feel?

So what did I think of the movie?

Speaking of Twilight in general, I don't think I've ever been so thoroughly entertained by something that I think is so awful.

I enjoyed it but I laughed at it. A lot.

When Jacob took off his shirt the first time, every woman in the audience gasped. Jacob is so way better than Edward. I'm totally switching teams.

The One Where I Wasn't My Best

Well, this wasn't the best weekend of my life but not the worst either. I managed to get my act together today and took care of some business and did a bit of writing.

Yesterday I noticed some sunshine and I thought it would be smart to get my butt outside and rake but, of course, I found something better to do. That, naturally, involved sitting on the couch.

Today I figured I'd get out there for at least an hour but it was gray, drippy and 48 degrees. I made a pot of soup and roasted some beets instead.

I've got another busy week. Tomorrow is my long day and I don't get home until almost 8pm.

Tuesday I've got a regular work day and then leaving at the end of the day for work travel and won't be home until late Thursday night.

Then Friday I have the vampire movie.





I've been preoccupied with other things and I sorta forgot about the vampire movie. Especially since I thought the last one was so mediocre. I hadn't planned my whole life around seeing it the first day until I saw the schedule.

Back when I was all excited about seeing Jedi movies and Hobbit movies, I wished they had early morning showings. I can't stay up until midnight to watch a movie but I could get up early.

I could see the vampire movie at 6:01am. (If I go at that hour it's six-oh-one I want.)

I really don't feel that strongly about the movie but I sort-of want to just because I can. And my two strongest reasons for not going would be because I'm getting home late Thursday night and because what kind of dork goes to see the vampire movie at 6:01am?

But I'd really like to see what kind of dorks go to a movie at 6:01am. Plus I could put it on my dork resume next to: naming my laptop after a vampire, (this was my first laptop and it was named Lestat) going to science fiction camp, and dressing up as Nefertiti for Halloween after I read The Egypt Game back in the 70's.

We'll see how I feel on Thursday night.

Is There Something On My Face?

A few years ago I used to get skin treatments at this day spa across town.

They sold some special line of make-up which I managed to avoid for awhile. I thought make-up was cool when I was young but I don't really have the kind of face that's improved by intense applications of spackle.

I needed some new foundation and I never know how to pick a color so I asked for some help. I specifically didn't want a powder-based product and I really meant it which is why I left with a powder-based product. But you see, this wasn't your ordinary powder-based product. This could be used together with a yummy smelling water-mist spray that you gently applied after you powdered your face and this would "set" your foundation.

Even now it's hard to believe I went for it. I make fun of other people who buy stupid things because some retail genius convinced them they needed it. Yet there I was, paying an absurd amount of money for scented water in a spray.

The thing is, I became addicted to it. I loved that refreshing spray. I quit going to the spa for many reasons but mostly because I got tired of organizing an entire day around driving across town so I could sit in a chair and "relax" for two hours. I found a company with a similar product but I quit buying stuff from them, too. (Long story omitted.) A couple weeks ago I used the last of my magical mist.

Last time I was in Target I went through the beauty supplies because I figured every company must now sell lightly scented water in a spray bottle for your face. That's free money. Why wouldn't you? Couldn't find any.

So there's a marketing idea for someone who has the initiative to make products.

Meanwhile, the point of this post that I've been leading up to is that I want my job to be naming skin products. There was an entire wall of products and they all have names like: "anti-aging replumpifier with toning beads," "rejuvenating line eraser with relaxing agents. And aloe" and "super oxidizing radon scrub with cinnamon enhanced century diminishing injectors."

I don't know what half that stuff means but it sounded really good. I wanted to try them all.

Pumpkin Crop 2009



I screwed up and didn't get a good photo of my entire crop. I already gave a couple away. I also had a surprise and hearty volunteer crop of acorn squash. We've eaten at least three and given away about eight. And we still have that many left. They are yummy.

I still have some pumpkin in the freezer from last year. I took a bit out last weekend thinking I'd whip up some soup for myself for lunch. But then I never got to it and had to do something with the pumpkin.

Meanwhile, I made a pot roast in the slow cooker on Sunday. As I've written before, I'm not much of a pot roast person, but I make it because it's easy, especially when I'm going to be gone all day. And Bob likes it.



These tomatoes look like planets or something. My amateur photo skills don't do them justice.

Last night as soon as I got home from work I threw together some stuff that I thought might turn the pumpkin into a soup quick and easy. I also got out some salad stuff and the loaf of bread I made over the weekend.

Bob came in the door from work and looked that the gorgeous pot of orangeness and said, "Oh. So we're having beef sandwiches tomorrow then?"

"You can have a beef sandwich," I told him.

So I make the soup, and cut a hunk of bread and make two nice slices for his sandwich and left some wedges that I could butter with my soup. Then I turn around and he's taken my wedges and sliced them further and is making these ginormous plates piled with every speck of leftover pot roast, vegetables and gravy.

I looked at the plate and I said, "I would never eat that much in a million years."

This story isn't very good now that I'm typing it but the point is that he wanted beef sandwiches. We were having beef sandwiches. Even I was going to have a beef sandwich with my lovely bowl of wonderful soup.

Later when we got in bed I told him: "That beef sandwich made me mad."



I finally had some time this morning to organize the last of the tomatoes. I'd brought them in and they were piled around in bowls and trays. I sorted through everything I had and composted all the ones that had gone ooky. Then I took the ones that needed to be dealt with right away and I'm slow roasting them now with some onion and garlic and spices. The kitchen smells fantastic. This will be turned into a sauce which I will eat a little of and give the rest away since tomato sauce doesn't agree with beef sandwich man.

Problems Around The House In Various Stages Of Being Dealt With



Tree Next Door: Oct 09 09

Problem: Violent leak from ceiling vent in remodeled bathroom.

Stage of Being Dealt With: Had been identified as problem area earlier but no leakage had ever occurred. Then we got 1.5 inches of rain in 36 hours and water streamed from vent. Have raised level of urgency in getting fixed.



Tree Next Door: Oct 17 09

Problem: Low pressure in kitchen sink faucet.

Stage of Being Dealt With: Fixed



Tree Next Door: Oct 22 09

Problem: Funny smell in kitchen sink.

Stage of Being Dealt With: Obvious things have been done but results only short term. Probably some sort of plumbing/drainage nightmare lurking in our future. Will ignore until something worse happens then raise urgency level.



Tree Next Door: Oct 30 09

Problem: No warm air coming from heating vent in living room.

Stage of Being Dealt with: Just noticed and fiddled with vent. Needs to be removed from wall for further investigation. Have put tool kit in living room to help inspire me.

Lloyd Center Transit Stop

On Wednesday I attended a meeting all day. At first I wasn't happy when they gave us a 90 minute lunch. I would have rather gotten the work done and finished early (Which we did, but that's another story.)

I had brought a sandwich and it was sunny and 60 degrees so I went outside and found a sunny bench. Nothing like a bright fall day when you know winter is right around the corner. Now we've got big rainy storms blowing through so I'm glad I got my fix.

Another busy day. This morning I noticed an appointment I thought was at 2pm is at 12:30pm so I need to get my bootie in gear.

Read the Title of the Blog

That's my filing pile being measured by my Star Wars ruler in front of my XFiles poster. I'm not sure if the photo makes the filing look scary enough. That's a full day and a half's worth.

I'm not blog posting or novel writing in an national daily participatory fashion this month, in case anyone is wondering. I'm still doing my writing contest with my classmates and I might write more about that some other time.

One of my two steps forward three steps back things involves my retirement plan from the old firm. I wasn't going to write about it because it seemed bad form to whine about my retirement plan when people don't have jobs. But then it's sort-of a joke to call the money I've been squirreling away the past 20 years which is now worth only slightly more than if I'd lit it on fire a "retirement plan."

I left my money in the firm's plan when I left, intending to move it eventually but it was fine where it was. But the company that held the funds decided to discontinue small business retirement plans. I received a giant blob of papers and instructions that I needed to make a decision right away. So I made the phone calls, did the homework, filled out 37 pages of forms, got my husband's notarized signature, my firm's guaranteed signature and mailed it off all in plenty of time.

I phoned the fund company this week to follow up (10 days later): "We've no record of your paperwork."

Now I'm on a deadline so I had to drop everything and start all over and then overnight the paperwork which is what I should have done in the first place. As of today it seems hopeful that this might be resolved. But too early for cartwheels.

Meanwhile, I had a bit of news from last weekend that I never shared. My husband and I are in possession of plane tickets to Amsterdam in March. [LameAss Airlines] was having a killer deal and we'd sorta been talking about it so we made some calls and then bought the tickets right away because it had to be done last weekend.

After I got my confirmation I realized there was a typo in my name. It's not major but I didn't want something like that to fubar our plans so I contacted the airline right away and explained the problem and asked if there was something I should do.

This is the [slightly edited] response I got:

Dear Mr. Rentz,

Thank you for contacting us through [out website]. We are sorry for the delay in responding to your message.

Once the tickets are issued, the name on the reservation cannot be changed.

Again, thank you for writing. We appreciate your selection of [our lameass airline] and will always welcome the opportunity to be of service.

First of all, computerbot OR foreign help desk: Pamela is a woman's name. Try a little harder.

Second, I'm sorry. Did I miss something? Does that response qualify as "be[ing] of service" by any definition of that phrase?

Further research with no help by LameAss Airlines indicates that it probably won't be an issue but if it is, it will be a ginormous pain-in-the-ass issue. I'm going to be at the airport in a couple of weeks and I'm going to see if I have any luck at the counter. I just don't want to be prepared to board an international flight and have someone tell me that my ID doesn't match the name on my ticket and to go home and better luck next time.

Ten Years Ago Today I Started Working With Co-Worker

Last week when we went to Idaho, co-worker and I sat next to each other on the aisle. We didn't talk to each other except once before the flight took off when I told him about a story idea I had and asked if it would be more interesting if it was set on a spaceship. I had interrupted him from reading that dazzling piece of literature known as the in-flight magazine. He gave me an annoyed look and said he didn't care where I set my story.

Meanwhile, this man sat down behind me who did not stop talking from the minute he sat down. It was amazing. He talked about work. He talked about weather. He talked about looking for a job and needing some classes but he didn't really like to study. He talked about going to the gym and working out but said he didn't really like to exercise. He also didn't like to get up early. He said he was married and I felt sorry for his wife.

After the plane landed but before we deboarded, I pulled my backpack from the overhead bin and accidentally bumped co-worker with it.

He said, "Watch out or I'm going to sue you."

I said, "Go ahead. I'm not afraid of you."

All the people around us went silent, including talking man. I guess they didn't realize we know each other and talk to each other like that all the time.

My New Glasses

I tried to find some stylish way to display my glasses together but all I accomplished was getting my fingerprints all over them so we're going for the side-by-side view.

I finally got my eyeballs checked. I think it was in August. I spend so much time looking for my glasses that I decided to buy some extra pairs so I can have one in my backpack and one by my bed and one by my desk, etc.

A long time ago I read this post about buying cheap eyewear online.

It's been a long time since I bought glasses but I do remember them being absurdly expensive. Especially if you wear the graduated lenses or whatever they're called. I can't find the folder right now and don't really want to look up the proper terms. I bought bifocals from the eye doctor place and even with insurance and the doctor office discount I still handed over a wad of money.

If you read the article linked about about eyewear mark-up, it's a little disturbing.

I tried the bargain method using eyebuydirect.com and I just bought plain old reading glasses with the scratch-free coating and those two pairs, shipping and all, were $68 together. They are a tad "plasticky" and possibly not the most stylish but $68 for two pairs. I'm happy.

The sun is shining so I'm going to run out and do some work. Then I've got cooking projects.

I have got another insanely busy week ahead up-to-and-including every day next weekend. I'm not going to have time to pull my socks up until next week.

Stand in the Place Where You Live

This morning I watched this woman take every single piece of salmon out of the display at Trader Joe's. She was a customer. She had to lean down and reach back with her entire arm to get them all out. And she studied them side-by-side. Then she shoved some back into the display and left others sitting in the refrigerator case below with her empty cup of tea. She didn't buy one.

I really wanted to make some churlish passive-aggressive remark except that she looked like one of those women who has had so much therapy she's self-actualized to the point of psychosis. She probably went home and wrote in her journal about how empowering it was for her to examine every piece of salmon and not settle for a piece that didn't have special meaning for her.

Today was a classic two steps forward three steps back. Which seems to be the theme of everything lately.

I've been wanting to get another shelving unit for the shop. The shop is an extra outer room at our house that isn't garage but is unfinished. It's where the lawn mower, bicycles, camping equipment, garden stuff and oodles of junk live.

I found a shelving unit at Freddie's and I'm pretty sure that's where I got the last one so after much indecision I decided to buy it. Then I took all these "before" pictures of the shop because wasn't it going to make a fantastic post, showing how I transformed our shop from a wretched hive of scum and villainy to an amazingly organized rainbow-filled magicland?

Except I couldn't get the *&^%$#$@#$%^&* thing together. Assembles in 30 minutes my fat ass. Plus there were parts missing. I'm not a person who returns things. I know I just returned something to Ann Taylor and I almost talked myself out of that one, too. Except I spent a lot of money on those pants and it seemed unlikely that I could lose a half pants size while going into the holidays. Ever since it turned cold last week all I can think about is Tater Tots and melted cheese.

But I didn't want those shelves in my house. I disassembled the three pieces I'd managed to get to hold together and threw all 57 pieces of shelving back in the box. Taped the box shut and I am returning that thing. I should have returned it today except my method of dealing with my frustration was to have a Pumpkin Ale and a handful of Halloween candy. Then I took a nap.

It wasn't a wonderful day. Plus while at the same Freddies, I bought a "warm" save-the-planet light bulb to replace the space ship light bulb that's out in the garage. I got my step ladder out and put the new one in and trembled a little as I flicked the switch. It stuttered a moment and went dead. That was the new light bulb. Normally I would have thrown it away and not bothered but since I'm returning those shelves, I want a new light bulb. Fancy Hwy 14 Fred Meyer: you have really let me down.

Dull Post of the Day

I have a list here of things to write about but nothing sounds very interesting.

On Tuesday I stepped off the bus and there was some mighty cold air blowing through my slacks. I guess snow level is down to 2000 feet or something. The TV kept showing pictures of snow up at Government Camp. Yesterday I dug out the giant coat and put on my heavy wool socks, wool pants and wool sweater and tromped off to work all cozy and pleased with myself. When my elevator arrived a woman got off wearing a linen sleeveless dress with pockets, a 3/4 sleeve sweater and high heels.

I almost have the Ann Taylor business off my list. I still don't love her but we're speaking again. I had this gift card I needed to finish up and I was striking out at the stores downtown so I decided to buy a pair of pants online. $12 for turtle-speed shipping (2 weeks) for a package that said it weighed zero. I know there are companies whose entire business plans rely on making money off of "shipping and handling" but I haven't found to be true for stores like this. So I was already tweaked and then the pants arrived in a size that I have at least a half dozen of in my closet and I put these on: too small. I took them to the downtown store where someone actually helped me find something but I still have a credit because it's also cheaper to buy stuff in an actual store.

I'm thinking of trying one of those crazy casseroles with melted cheese and bacon and Tater Tots. Mostly because it would be easy and Bob would like it. I'm into large one-pot meals at the moment.

Does anyone really make voting decisions based on automated phonecalls? "This recorded voice tells me that Delphina McToaster is a registered nurse in favor of Proposition 762. I guess I am, too." Does anyone even listen to them?

I forgot to tell this story about our visit with the elder last week. You know how you kinda treat elders like children sometimes? Bari and I had never used the recording equipment before so we were figuring it out as we went along. It all went well except at the end we couldn't get the camera off the tripod. Bud asked to look at it so I handed it over to humor him and about 4 seconds later he popped the camera off and handed it to me. I should have given it to him first.

Lila! have you heard of Brain Harvest the Almanac of Bad Ass Speculative Fiction?



I know. I love it, too. Sure, I'll get you your own t-shirt.