Stand in the Place Where You Live

This morning I watched this woman take every single piece of salmon out of the display at Trader Joe's. She was a customer. She had to lean down and reach back with her entire arm to get them all out. And she studied them side-by-side. Then she shoved some back into the display and left others sitting in the refrigerator case below with her empty cup of tea. She didn't buy one.

I really wanted to make some churlish passive-aggressive remark except that she looked like one of those women who has had so much therapy she's self-actualized to the point of psychosis. She probably went home and wrote in her journal about how empowering it was for her to examine every piece of salmon and not settle for a piece that didn't have special meaning for her.

Today was a classic two steps forward three steps back. Which seems to be the theme of everything lately.

I've been wanting to get another shelving unit for the shop. The shop is an extra outer room at our house that isn't garage but is unfinished. It's where the lawn mower, bicycles, camping equipment, garden stuff and oodles of junk live.

I found a shelving unit at Freddie's and I'm pretty sure that's where I got the last one so after much indecision I decided to buy it. Then I took all these "before" pictures of the shop because wasn't it going to make a fantastic post, showing how I transformed our shop from a wretched hive of scum and villainy to an amazingly organized rainbow-filled magicland?

Except I couldn't get the *&^%$#$@#$%^&* thing together. Assembles in 30 minutes my fat ass. Plus there were parts missing. I'm not a person who returns things. I know I just returned something to Ann Taylor and I almost talked myself out of that one, too. Except I spent a lot of money on those pants and it seemed unlikely that I could lose a half pants size while going into the holidays. Ever since it turned cold last week all I can think about is Tater Tots and melted cheese.

But I didn't want those shelves in my house. I disassembled the three pieces I'd managed to get to hold together and threw all 57 pieces of shelving back in the box. Taped the box shut and I am returning that thing. I should have returned it today except my method of dealing with my frustration was to have a Pumpkin Ale and a handful of Halloween candy. Then I took a nap.

It wasn't a wonderful day. Plus while at the same Freddies, I bought a "warm" save-the-planet light bulb to replace the space ship light bulb that's out in the garage. I got my step ladder out and put the new one in and trembled a little as I flicked the switch. It stuttered a moment and went dead. That was the new light bulb. Normally I would have thrown it away and not bothered but since I'm returning those shelves, I want a new light bulb. Fancy Hwy 14 Fred Meyer: you have really let me down.

Dull Post of the Day

I have a list here of things to write about but nothing sounds very interesting.

On Tuesday I stepped off the bus and there was some mighty cold air blowing through my slacks. I guess snow level is down to 2000 feet or something. The TV kept showing pictures of snow up at Government Camp. Yesterday I dug out the giant coat and put on my heavy wool socks, wool pants and wool sweater and tromped off to work all cozy and pleased with myself. When my elevator arrived a woman got off wearing a linen sleeveless dress with pockets, a 3/4 sleeve sweater and high heels.

I almost have the Ann Taylor business off my list. I still don't love her but we're speaking again. I had this gift card I needed to finish up and I was striking out at the stores downtown so I decided to buy a pair of pants online. $12 for turtle-speed shipping (2 weeks) for a package that said it weighed zero. I know there are companies whose entire business plans rely on making money off of "shipping and handling" but I haven't found to be true for stores like this. So I was already tweaked and then the pants arrived in a size that I have at least a half dozen of in my closet and I put these on: too small. I took them to the downtown store where someone actually helped me find something but I still have a credit because it's also cheaper to buy stuff in an actual store.

I'm thinking of trying one of those crazy casseroles with melted cheese and bacon and Tater Tots. Mostly because it would be easy and Bob would like it. I'm into large one-pot meals at the moment.

Does anyone really make voting decisions based on automated phonecalls? "This recorded voice tells me that Delphina McToaster is a registered nurse in favor of Proposition 762. I guess I am, too." Does anyone even listen to them?

I forgot to tell this story about our visit with the elder last week. You know how you kinda treat elders like children sometimes? Bari and I had never used the recording equipment before so we were figuring it out as we went along. It all went well except at the end we couldn't get the camera off the tripod. Bud asked to look at it so I handed it over to humor him and about 4 seconds later he popped the camera off and handed it to me. I should have given it to him first.

Lila! have you heard of Brain Harvest the Almanac of Bad Ass Speculative Fiction?



I know. I love it, too. Sure, I'll get you your own t-shirt.

My husband has posted on several things that I had on my mind:

We had a wonderful little market in our neighborhood TP Market. It was family run forever and they finally sold it to some people who I'm going to guess were not local who quickly ran it into the ground. We went in there one time and never returned.

It has new owners and they're dismantling it and trying to make it into something else. Hopefully something good.

Also Bob and his Mom helped arrange a backstage zoo tour with some favorite local kids. Check out the close-up of the polar bear.

This post is about Marcelle's, a local small business success that I've been meaning to write about for a long time. A ton of businesses have tried to make it in that location and Marcelle figured out how to do it. A really nice neighborhood destination.

- - -

I tend to be fanatical about turning off lights and watching the thermostat. Except for two lights in our house that I like to keep on pretty continuously during the dark time of year.

One is a light in the garage right where the stairs to the basement are. The basement is Bob's man-cave and he goes up and down those stairs at all hours of the night and day. I do not want to get up one morning and find his twisted body at the bottom of the stairs in the dark.

The other is a light above our kitchen sink. It's a nice nightlight for when we get home after dark or during the middle of the night when I'm wandering around wishing I could sleep.

Several years ago I put in those "save-the-planet" light bulbs that manufacture energy as they work and last for 20 years. Except that the one in the garage finally burned out and I replaced it. I didn't understand that there are different types of "save-the-planet" bulbs and the one I bought is really bright and has a bluish tint. So now it looks like there's a space ship emitting bright light in our garage. I'm going to see if I can buy a different kind because I don't like it.

This week is medium busy. We'll see how it goes.

Sturgeon Hatchery

I remember when I was in my twenties and the first thing I wanted to see when I got home was that blinking red light on the answering machine. Someone called me! So often I was disappointed.

Now when I come home and I see that red light blinking I say, "[Expletive!] Now what?" How things change.

I saw bright sun when I work up this morning so we went for a walk. I made a giant pot of soup and then put in a couple of hours in the backyard. The garden is mostly put to bed. There are two pumpkins, a few beets and I left the Roma tomato in because it's still going like crazy.

I raked and dug and cleaned stuff up.

Now I'm tired but I'm running out the door for a little bit of BizaarroCon. Home late.

Early morning view of the Kootenai River from my hotel room.

If You See the Sleep Fairy, Send Her/Him My Way

I survived my super busy week. The business trip went fantastic.

I got home in time for a late dinner on Tuesday night and my dear cousin was in town for the Tribal Archives, Libraries and Museums Conference so I got to visit with her.

After work on Wednesday my cousin and I drove across town to meet with a 96-year old Karuk elder who grew up speaking Karuk. He didn't learn to speak English until he started school. We interviewed him for a tribal program. He was a complete charmer. He had tons of great stories about his life like how he grew up and different jobs he's had and several times he'd start a story and seem to gloss over the most interesting part. One of the interview questions was whether he'd ever had to translate between English and Karuk.

"Oh, just once," he said. "It was a homicide investigation."

I'm hoping to set something up so I can meet with him on a regular basis and get his stories and more of his knowledge of the language. We'll see how it all works out.



Just turned 96. He showed us a photo of the gate he put up this summer at his property in Etna, CA

Thursday I left work a little bit early. The commute home was a breeze and I had one errand which went quickly and I was at home by 4:30pm. "I'm one good nights sleep away from world domination!" I thought as I lounged on the couch catching up on my shows between loads of laundry.

Of course I woke up at 3am. At 4:30am I turned on the light and read for awhile. By 6am I was sleepy again and I went back to sleep until 8:30am. Better than a sharp stick in the eye but I felt fuzzy headed all day.

Today I've been cooking and catching up on stuff around the house. That was one thing about this week. For about 5 days straight I barely ate anything that didn't come from a restaurant. My favorite food is stuff I make myself. It was nice to eat in my own kitchen for a change.

I am now one good nights sleep away from world domination.

Someone Should Invent a Day with More Hours

I'm doing a writing contest with my Clarion West classmates. It started October 1 and goes to the end of the year. I won't explain all the rules or bore you with my goals. The main idea behind the contest is to get everyone working harder. And I am.

The real point of my story is to talk about how all this writing productivity is ruining my TV watching. I now have 1 hour or less a day to watch TV. And the DVR is filling up faster than that.

I gave up on Flash Forward. I didn't love it but normally would have given it a few more episodes but I thought I better quit before I got invested. I wanted to watch Three Rivers but only because it was staring that hot vampire guy from Moonlight. I gave it 15 minutes before I deleted and I didn't hate it but didn't understand how it wasn't like all the other hospital shows out there.

Does anyone even have to invent shows anymore? It seems like almost every show involves solving cases or hospitals or someone/something with powers. Or reality shows which barely have to be invented. Is there a giant automator and you plug in a few characteristics and a show is kicked out the other side?

Which reminds me: why isn't Sons of Anarchy the most popular show on TV? It's an awesome show with motorcycles and violence and this season Henry Rollins is a special guest star and a total evil badass. Plus there was scene with Jax getting out of the shower. I think I lost consciousness for a minute when I saw it.

I don't know what to do about Stargate Universe because it looks like the kind of scifi geek show that I would love. But I'm not invested yet, I could walk away right now because I haven't had time to watch even one.

I'm not making a list of all my shows because most of them are embarrassing. I think there are seven plus Mad Men which I watch with Bob. Poor me and my problems.

I have a crazy busy week coming up including a couple days out of town for work. I will barely be online if at all for the next couple of days.

I was going to write a really good post today. One with not too much complaining but a bunch of super funny observations. Like I was going to try to make a story out of this dream I had which had many bizarre elements but the strangest was Obama was over for dinner. Then I woke up with a toothache. So now I think of it as the Obama toothache.

But I've been up to my elbows and eyeballs in projects all day so this is going to have to do. I'm going to leave with a much loved quote from the Simpsons a few weeks ago, that I've written on a little card and set by my computer.

A Simpson never gives up until he's tried at least one easy thing.

More Fun With Shopping

We have two sets of sheets at our house: summer and winter. That's about as high maintenance as I get.

When I do the big switch I usually take the whole bed apart and wash the mattress pad. I shake out the comforter and wash and carefully fold the stuff I'm putting away.

I've been wanting to buy us a new comforter for several years and I usually think about it in the fall. But since I hate shopping I always put it off thinking it will be easier to do next weekend. Then I next weekend it until the holidays. Who wants to deal with buying new bedding during the holidays? Then I'd plan to do it during the after holiday sales and I'd keep putting it off until next weekend. And so on until the holiday sales were over and why not just wait until fall?

For some reason I felt very determined about doing it this year and we're long overdue to switch to winter sheets so I made myself do it today. Shortly before the economy went to hell a ginormous (aside: I can't believe spellcheck doesn't recognize "ginormous") strip mall of big box stores opened near our house and I've been to the Target but nothing else.



I've never seen more than 5 cars in front of the bedding store and today was no different. The store had no customers besides me and an old lady who looked like she might be part zombie who at one point had to be in the precise aisle I was trying to be in.

I decided on a comforter and then looked for a cover. I want flannel. Summer is cotton. Winter is flannel. That's how I do it. I have no interest in changing. What's the point of enduring all this aging crap if you can't be rigid and uncompromising in your ways?

They have no flannel covers. This is a store you could park a 747 in. It is filled floor to ceiling with tons and tons of crap related to beds, baths and beyond. You know what they told me? "They don't make them anymore."

I drove across the parking lot to this other store I've never set foot in. Their selection was even more grim but they didn't have "bed" in giant letters on the outside of the building so I'll cut them some slack.



As soon as I got home I jumped online and I found a few things but nothing I loved. The Company Store has a huge selection but I've always been afraid to order from them because I don't think you can ever get off the mailing list. Even if you die. But then I thought what the hell, I want a new flannel comforter cover.

They have an amazing selection except you know what? I don't want to sleep under something with: penguins, horses, elephants, butterflies, cats, dogs or polar bears on it. These must be very popular choices especially the penguins because there were two different kinds. I tried to think if there was ever a time in my life where I would have wanted to sleep with elephants on my comforter. No. Maybe when I'm even older and crankier? I doubt it.

They only had one that I liked and I realized it looks almost exactly like what I already have. (I have other requirements which include: dark colors, not too girly.) So I said: Screw It! I will just use the old one.

This is my bus stop on the new transit mall. I'm not sure about the three tiny chairs. The display screen doesn't include the Vancouver buses and has been stuck on October 5 since October 5. I was wondering how that clear roof thing was going to hold up and it is already dirty with leaves on it. But maybe these monsooning rains will clear it off.

Stinky Cheese

The big fancy Fred Meyer on Hwy 14 has a pretty decent cheese selection. There's a little basket in the case with small chunks of cheese so you can try different things without spending a lot of money.

Since I knew I was going to be bringing my lunch this week, I bought a couple of samples thinking I could eat that with a hunk of bread. You know how in adventure stories they're always eating bread and cheese?

Yesterday I cut a piece of both samples and brought them in. One was Manchenga which was fantastic and the other I will not name but will say that it smelled like dirty socks that had spent a hundred years soaking in rancid yak fat. I tried to be game and I cut it in half and stuck it on my bread and took a bite.

Yikes. At first I thought I was fine and was going to go ahead and swallow it. Then I ran from the room and scraped it off my tongue with a paper towel. Determined to teach the cheese a lesson, I chucked it violently into the trash. Then the trash in the lunch room stunk like a yak's locker room. (We don’t really have a lunch room, it's a closet-like space with a copier, mini-fridge, cupboards and a sink.)

So much for adventure. It reminded me of when me and my sister were really little and went to Germany to meet our grandmother. She had some limburger cheese and I guess we complained about it so she put it in the bathroom. Or maybe she stored it in there all the time. I don't know. One of us had to use the bathroom and we cried because of the smell.

Office Culture

I will probably surprise you when I tell you that I've had a huge variety of office jobs since the late eighties and I've never used PowerPoint. In fact, until very recently I'd never had a computer with PP on it and until even more very recently, had never even opened the program.

And even though I've never used it, I don't like it. I'm like those people who want to ban books they've never read or complain about movies they've never seen.

There's a situation coming up in a few short days and I've been advised (not ordered) that a PP might be valuable in this situation. And I said, I can't do it. I don't know how to use PP.

Every single person I've told this story to has said, "Sure you can. PP is easy."

Baking chocolate chip cookies is easy. Driving a car is easy. Juggling flame-throwing chainsaws is easy -- IF YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW TO DO IT.

Yeah, I'm sure even a wizened intellect like mine could figure it out. It's hard to tell when I haven't even tried. But it's not like I'm just going to cut and paste an outline. I need to think about how to organize my information for the intended audience using this type of communication.

Also I don't want to because I think PP makes you stupid. Wasn't there a study or something to support that? PP makes you 5 to 75 percent more stupid? I thought I heard that.

I guess instead of sitting here whining I could be learning PP.

This is a neighbor cat that ran over to say hi and then got suspicious when I broke out the camera.

My sweetheart did a lovely post of shots around the neighborhood.

Today had some great parts and some aggravating parts. I woke up at 3am and couldn't get back to sleep, we had a plumbing problem which was eventually resolved and then the Internet died. So I spend most of the morning tired and trying to problem solve.

At Noon we zoomed out of the house to the Wordstock Festival one of our favorite annual events. We cruised the floor and saw several people we know. We had tickets to the special Sherman Alexie event. Have you read this great poem Unkissed by him? If you're thinking, oh - I'm not a poetry person, you should read it anyway. It's a poem for everyone. He was awesome as usual and we now each have a signed copy of his new book.

We also saw Shawn Levy talk about his Paul Newman book. We've seen him speak once before and he's always super-interesting with lots of filmgeek details.

You'd think an event like Wordstock: tables and tables of books and a room filled with book geeks would make me more excited about writing. But actually, the volume of stuff overwhelmed me. I want to support the business and buy small press stuff and magazines but I don't have time to read the stuff I already have. Who can read all this stuff? Besides the moms and really loyal colleagues of the writers?

On the way home I was thinking that maybe I'd just recycle 75% of the stuff in my current magazine pile to catch me up to the current month. That was how I resolved my discomfort.

So getting back to Wordstock, it felt like there are already so many books out there. I don't think that's the right attitude I'm just telling you how I felt at the time.

Then we tried to take care of an errand on the way home and were thwarted so now I've got to try to keep my eyes open and finish my daily word count.

I never even went there but I miss it already.

Two Depressing Moments From TV Last Night

1. Hearing classic Blue Öyster Cult remade as dancebeat twaddle and sung by a breathy teenie-bopper and used to pimp a car that I wouldn't drive if it was offered to me for free.

2. Three small children playing doctor. The "doctor" tells the other small children that what they need is more fiber. The solution? Froot Loops. I don't even know which part is more depressing. Kids discussing fiber or the advertising brain trust that decided that the real selling point for a candy-flavored cereal is fiber.

The Cellar

Oops, the morning got away from me so only a couple of quick updates.

1. The good news is that I've completely restored my home email to exactly like it was before I upgraded it. Yay. The bad news is that all new mail on the machine since I switched is gone.

2. Simpson's Review that includes a line about how the episode feels like it was written by elderly people. We thought it was hilarious. Ouch.

Do Not Hold Over People

Wow. I'm grumpy this morning.

I just wrote 400 words about how much I hate all email programs that aren't 2005 and earlier Eudora. Then I poured another cup of tea and realized no one wants to read that.

Then I started ranting about Ann Taylor. But I found some cookies so I deleted that, too, and will just say that my attempt to burn through my giftcard via Internet ordering failed so I'm still not done with them. They are doing nothing to convince me that they want my business.

I think I might break open this box of See's and see if I can get some work done.

Timbers!

Smells. Soccer. Bulbs.

This is going to be another rambling thematically unlinked post.

This morning I got on the freeway behind a giant truck that I think was running on coal and camel fat. It was a curious smell coming from those bursts of murky exhaust.

Yesterday afternoon I went to the Timbers playoff game which was completely awesome. It was sunny, big crowd, cold beer. Exciting game. It ended in a 3-3 draw but the Timbers were eliminated because they lost the previous game 2-1. Bummer. But a great way to end the soccer season.

I've just started a major writing project that involves soccer so I've been thinking about soccer all weekend. World Cup starts June 11. Woo! Check out the official mascot Zakumi. He looks like the lovechild of a leopard and the Jolly Green Giant. I might have to replace my Shane in the lily pads desktop background for one of these Zakumi wallpapers because they are hilarious.

We found my camera battery charger yesterday. And when I say we, I mean Bob who miraculously found it downstairs in his man cave.

I noticed yesterday that the bulb company didn't send me a catalog this year. Normally I'd be ordering my spring bulbs now. This reminds me of an experience I had with a completely unrelated company and goes under the heading: WTF with the marketing?

A couple years ago Mom gave me her bulb catalog to order. Now I was in their system. I started getting blizzards of catalogs. They didn't just have X Bulb Catalog. They had about 20 bulb and flower catalogs. And maybe birdhouses. Or knitted things. I can't remember. I called them up and told them to knock it off. The following year I ordered from them via the Internet. Now they had my email. EVERY WEEK I would get an email pimping some evening birdsong kiwi crocuses or Danish sunset tiger lilies.

You know what I don't even think about much less purchase every week?

Flower bulbs.

So I told them to knock it off.

So now I get nothing? That's the choice: bombarded or nothing? That's what happened with the other company, too. They sold my name to every Tom, Dick and Harry in the world and when I told them to knock it off they stopped sending me their catalog. The one with stuff that I actually wanted to buy. So I called and asked what that was all about and they said I could open a new account with a different name.

They are doing it wrong.

This represents 25% of my lemon cucumber crop this year. I don't understand what went wrong. I had tons of vines going everywhere with lots of blossoms.

Saturday Wrap-up

I have a ton of notes jotted down here that don't go together. I'm just going to type for a bit and see how it all comes out.

Yesterday was the first crockpot meal of the season. My crockpot is desperately underused. I'm always looking at crockpot websites and cookbooks and they always seem to have ridiculous recipes like apple cider. Why would I dig my crockpot out from its spot in the back of the cupboard so I can heat up apple cider?

Yesterday I had a bean soup recipe and I realized I was going to be out for most of the afternoon and there wouldn't be enough time for it to cook when I got home. So I tossed everything in Mr. Crockpot and fired him up and when I got home, dinner was done.

Today is my first cocoa of the season.

Later in the day I need to find my seasonal clothes box and get all the fuzzy wool stuff out and put away all the shorts and tanktops. I finally accept that summer is over.



Co-worker's Dad sent him a box of goodies from WY -- very securely packed with Dora the Explorer diapers and duct tape. You have to admire his ingenuity.

Bob and I have been fans of At The Movies forever. I remember watching it together in our very first apartment. At that time it was still Siskel & Ebert. We've stuck with it through all the changes up until last year when there was some sort of dispute with Ebert. The show was taken over by dark overlord entertainment channel people and was hosted by two discoheads with shiny teeth that talked like game show hosts. It was so awful Bob and I didn't even last to the first commercial break. I realize it's unfair of me to give such a terrible rating to a show that I watched for less than 10 minutes but I'm confident in my assessment.

One of the things we liked about the show is that the reviewers were intelligent with a huge knowledge of film. They weren't there to pimp product they wanted to talk about movies. And they reviewed mainstream stuff and independent stuff. And when they found some undiscovered gem they would do as much as they could to get the word out.

This year the show dumped the phonies and returned with film nerds A.O. Scott and Michael Phillips who were often seen on the previous version. We're so happy. Every time they make an obscure reference I get all shivery.



Peaches and chokecherry jelly from WY. I told co-worker he should tell his Dad I was putting this online and he could read my blog. Co-worker's response: That would require teaching him to use a computer.

Last week I got an email that made me so angry I had to sit on my hands to keep from jetting off a nasty reply. Unfortunately it wouldn't be cool to elaborate but I will say that is wasn't a home email.

I'm almost always good about not responding to email that makes me mad or annoyed. There have been a few incidences when I failed to do that and even as I was whomping on the keyboard setting that person straight, I knew it was a bad idea but sent it anyway. I can think of one occasion where that turned into a disaster.

I don't know what it was about this one that unhinged me. As the day went on I'd find myself trying to construct a perfect reply. One that would professionally but not passive-aggressively inform this business entity what a bunch of worthless patronizing morons they were. Dummies.

On that note, I'm going to wrap up. I have a few other items on my list but maybe I'll write more tomorrow.

Do It Yourself

My haircut lady phoned me last weekend to tell me she's getting out of the business. She started working out at the mall at the beginning of the summer and I knew she didn't like it there. I asked her if she meant the mall or cutting hair altogether. She said she was trying to get another business started. The styling job was too slow.

If you've ever seen my hair you'd wonder why I'd pay someone to cut it. I cut my own hair for years and years after I gave up that horrible Carol Brady shag I had in college. (Barely exaggerating – the haircut was so awful I don't even think it was funny. I burn any photos I run across. I'm so grateful there was no Facebook back then.)

I started seeing my current person back when I was trying to improve my style and I wanted to get highlights or a weave or some fancy thing I thought was a good idea. I liked it at first but it cost a lot of money and took forever to do. I don't have the patience to invest a lot of time into vanity.

Then I went back to my regular boring hair but I like my person so I still went to see her for a cut and style every other month. I don't know the exact timeline, I think I've been with her 10 years. She's moved salons at least six times. The mall was the sixth.

I hope it all works out for her. Meanwhile, I'm cutting my own hair again.