Stupid Technology.

Ignore what blogger says about the feeds.

This is some sort of middle step that all the incomprehensible instructions have told me to do.

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Before & After

These are my favorite pink tulips last year.

Last week I answered a solicitation call at home. It sounded like a call I usually get at the office. "This isn't a sales call we just want to confirm your business information."

I stopped her right there and told her it was wrong. This isn't a business, it's a private residence.

Last night Bob said somewhere on the Internet our phone number is connected to something "Insane Genius" because he kept getting these solicitation calls.

Uh, remember this? (It's in the fourth paragraph.) I can't figure out what's going on because I've never connected my domain to my home phone number but it seems like a spectacular coincidence.



This year I have tulip rot. Or something. I haven't done any homework to figure out the problem. The cheapo tulips on the other side of the yard look fine.

The good news is that the plumber was only $115. Did I mention we needed a plumber? We've been limping along on several issues for quite some time and over last weekend the bathtub decided that draining was too much effort and it would take all the time it needed. All day.

I figured since we just paid a vat of money in federal and property taxes this week, plus a vat to Toyota two weeks ago, that the plumber would probably need whatever was left so $115 sounded practically like free.

Let's just hope all the rest of our stuff can hold together for awhile.



Here's the shop last fall when I bought those new shelves and couldn't get them to go together

Sheesh -- I'm not even finished typing this post and already the next stupid problem rolls in. It's probably not cool to blog about so I'll be kinda vague.

We've just been informed that a government agency investigation into our alleged illegal activity has resulting in a finding of unfounded. There was a weird phone call but they say they sent the notice to the wrong people. Which duh, because we're the most boring legal people ever. But it's worrisome because somehow now we're in the system. Supposedly the agency who was smart enough to send the notice to the wrong people is fixing it all and will update us next week.

Please: no more hassles.



Shop with new shelves. There are a few more things I'd like to get rid of but already 100% better.

I have to run out the door but this is the official notice that the giant website overhaul is happening this weekend. I figure it will be all screwed up and probably the feeds screwed up and probably other things I haven't thought of.

Three Things

Cigarette machine in Bad Kissingen.

1. Dahlia bulbs are on the way. It's supposed to be nice this weekend. I will be a digging machine.

2. Taxes are out the door and two days to spare.

3. Today is 14 years since I started a personal website. This month is also 14 years since I took my first yoga class and 14 years since I moved to Vancouver to live with Bob. I don't think of those things as being related but I guess they are.

Don't Fear the Colonoscopy

Ski jump in Garmisch-Partenkirchen

Well that wasn't nearly as bad as I expected. But I was expecting it to be a horrendous nightmare so your results may vary.

I was advised that the prep would be a lot easier if I ate lightly the days before the procedure. I started cutting way back on Monday and mostly ate canned fruit and vegetables and rice. Except when I got a hamburger for lunch on Tuesday because I wanted to be one of those people who says. "No lettuce or tomatoes. None of that vegetable stuff."

By Thursday morning I was all shaky and insane-feeling from not eating but since I took the day off, I had the brilliant idea that we should run a few errands before I had to start my thing. I followed Bob around stores half-weeping asking why it was taking so long. When it's your turn just stay home and watch movies.

For my prep I had to start with 4 little pills and they made me feel queasy.

Bob came upstairs and asked how I was doing.

Me: Go away.

Bob: (laughs in a sympathetic "I've been there" way)

Me: Stop laughing at me. When you had to do this did I go downstairs and laugh at you?

Bob: I'm not laughing at you.

Me: You're looking at me and you're laughing so it feels like you're laughing at me.

Bob: (backing slowly from the room) There's nothing I can say right, is there?

Me: No!

After an hour I had to drink a half gallon of Gatorade with a 14 day supply of laxatives in it. I'm not exaggerating for the purpose of story-telling. This is really the recipe. Oh, and you have to drink it in 2 hours.

This part caused me a lot of anxiety because I didn't think it was possible for me to drink that much of anything in 2 hours.

Because I have a doctorate in Following The Instructions I sat at the kitchen table with a stack of magazines, a timer and a measuring cup and every 15 minutes I poured my 8 oz and sipped it through a straw. Since I hadn't eaten in so long, it tasted great and made me feel sane again.

It did the trick and a few hours later it was mostly finished and felt fine so I cleaned the house.

The procedure was this morning. The doctor told me I could be out cold if I wanted but they prefer to do conscious sedation. I was awake during the procedure and could watch on this monitor by the bed. I thought it would be fun if there was an alien in there and first we'd see the claws and then the teeth and beady eyes. But no luck. My colon is completely healthy and I don't have to go back for 10 years.

I ate toast and soup when I got home and watched TV and took a nap. Other than being a little sleepy, I feel like normal. As soon as I post this I'm going to finish the taxes.

And one more thing: since all that my souvenir cough is gone.

Craptastic

I wish we would have had a chance to check out the Wankbahn.

Me and my colon have big plans for the afternoon.

I'm signing off and will be offline until Friday night or Saturday morning.

Original Extra Strong

I still have tons of trip pictures to share but I wanted to put up some backyard pictures.

As I predicted almost 3 weeks ago my souvenir chest cough is still hanging around. I'm now at the stage where 2 or 3 times a day plus at bedtime I'm overcome with a coughing fit so terrible it sounds like someone is killing me and I have to hold my hands over my face so my eyeballs don't pop out.

The things that help are hot tea and Fisherman's Friend so I walk around sloshing and smelling mentholated.



The deal with the colonoscopy, as I understand it, is that they like to start screening at 50 and as long as everything is normal, doing the test every 10 years.

If you have family history (and I do) and insurance that will pay for it, they like to start earlier. My doctors started bugging me about in the last couple of years and I always said that I'd call and make the appointment later. I recently had another health issue and my doctor very strongly urged me again to do the test and I caved.

The doctor said if the test is normal and my sister's tests are normal, I go on the 10 year schedule like everyone else.

Power Eating

Even the horse has his eyes closed in my pictures. Garmisch-Partenkirchen Mar 10.

This is TMI week at You're Doing It Wrong.

I'm getting a colonoscopy on Friday.

Today I have to start avoiding certain foods.

This is the list: nuts, seeds, raw fruits and vegetables.

For the average American I'm guessing this would be no problem.

I eat at least one of those things at every meal.

This morning I was making my breakfast for work and I had the yogurt and I didn't know what to put with it. I checked all the cereals but they had nuts and seeds. All the fruits have seeds and are raw.

I finally decided to have yogurt and a Cadbury Egg.