Home Improvement Wrap-Up, Part 2

Things I've learned about Home Improvement.

1. Joint Compound, which I call Magical Compound, is my friend.

I think Magical Compound might have changed my life. Making holes in the walls isn't quite as scary because I can fix them. Even big holes. There was a major crater outside our bedroom door. Now: fixed! with Magical Compound. I have a few more dings in the bathroom and hallway I want to fix before I put the Magical Compound away. Having said that, I have to admit that I winced as I was re-hanging my pictures. Those pretty, smooth (relatively) walls. How can I put holes in them and cover them up?

2. Everything takes longer than you think it will.

I broke the job into what I thought were small manageable projects thinking I'd spend the morning doing the day's project and in the afternoon I could do other things like work in the yard or make dinner. Instead, I worked the entire day and only accomplished half the project and spent the evening on the couch whimpering with a damp washcloth on my forehead.

Even putting everything back. I had expected to have the time to be all organized about it. Instead I was throwing everything in as fast as I could, thus creating a new project for next weekend: organizing. (Organization is what keeps me tethered to this world.)

3. Everything looks shitty before it dries.

If you've been following along, you know that I've shrieked at every point of the process because it was harder than I thought and didn't look too great. But each step makes the step before it look better. Then you get all your stuff in the room and you don't see the little bloops in the corners and your eyes aren't drawn to the edges and it all looks great.

It's like making pie crust. It's all crumbly and falling apart and you have to patch it to get it in the pan and patch the top and it looks shitty. But then you bake it and it's brown and smells good and tastes even better and it doesn't matter. Yes. Pie crust is a metaphor for everything.

4. No matter what anyone says, wallpaper is a bitch to remove.

5. Your hair gets dirty.

6. Drywall is hard to cut.

7. Home Improvement gives you rich material for blogging.

Home Improvement Project Wrap-up Part 1
I'm too tired for the full wrap-up. Today I hustled to get my stuff put back in my room.

I was amazed how all my books fit so easily on the shelves until I discovered a giant box of books stashed in a corner and then I couldn't fit the books in to save my life. Doesn't this violate some law of physics? I had hoped to approach the room re-stocking with more time and organization rather than shoving stuff everywhere that it will fit. But what can you do? I've learned that Home Improvement takes at least ten times as long as you expect. At least I finished this weekend.

In short: now that it's over I am very pleased. I can see my biffs. When the sun hit the pitted wall I saw what a poor job I did of smoothing it. But, by the time I get all my pictures, etc. up, I don't think it will look that bad.

I still have to purchase and install closet shelving (remember: where this project started) and I have a few other ideas as well so I'll do more photos next weekend.

At least the weather was horrendous this weekend so while I was trapped inside, I didn't feel so bad.

On the other hand, I was out in the yard this afternoon and saw clusters of giant weeds and items that needed dead-heading and I need to take the tomatoes out of the walls-of-water while I still can and get them into cages. So, still lots of work everywhere.

The Project Is Nearing Completion
I'm a little disappointed. Anywhere that a dark color and a light color meet pretty much looks like crap. I am pleased with the colors, however. I tried everything to make the seams look good: various painting applicators, tape, different barriers and even painstaking patience, often a combo of these. I'm hoping once I get all my stuff in the room, the bloopers won't look so bad.

What does look great: my drywall patches. More photos to come.

Here's my ceiling painting outfit. I didn't have a cool bandana to wear over my hair and I pondered my baseball caps but I didn't want to wreck any of them. At last, all I could think of was a shower cap so I used that. When I worked on the ceiling it felt like paint was getting in my eyes so I dragged out the goggles. The face mask was a strange crutch that helped keep paint off my face.

I'm in clean up / exhausted sit on couch phase.

More tomorrow.

It is SO Rocket Science
Why can't I be a natural at something? Why can't something come easy to me?

I thought I hated removing wallpaper. I'm starting to think that was the fun part. This paint thing sucks ass.

I got my primer layer on. I made an incredible mess. I'm guessing primer can live with some sloppiness. How am I going to make the real color look good? How do you get in the corners? How do you make the brush marks look smooth? How do you keep from touching the smooth part you just painted? Will this paint ever come off my hands? Thank God I read those web tips that included: cover your hair.

What about that extender thing? I felt like I was an I Love Lucy episode, wonking that stick back into everything. Where was the conveyor belt with the cakes? I keep feeling like there's a hidden camera and I'm the entertainment for a painters convention in Miami. They can hardly get up from the floor they're laughing so hard.

The guy who sold me the Professional Paint Kit (why not the Paint Kit for Dummies?) said I could reuse that fuzzy paint roller cover thing. I think he was high. Isn't paint supposed to make you high? It's not working. The only thing keeping me going is the overwhelming desire to be finished. I'm going to the hardware store to buy about 100 of those fuzzy things and throw one away every half hour. And a smaller paint brush. The professional one isn't going to cut the detail work.

Meanwhile, I did end up getting desperate to plug in Frodo. Look at my amazing kitchen computer station. This is the most not-ergonomic set up ever. But I'm so desperate to avoid painting a few more minutes, I had to fill you in on the latest.

The Onion Strikes Again

Many Native Americans Still Hold Traditional Beliefs About White Man

(RE: Home Improvement Project: continues slowly but surely. I think we're going to have paint on the walls VERY VERY soon.)

Burning Arms
The minute I got home from work last night I changed into my work clothes, put Frodo and his various paraphernalia (keyboard, mouse, cables, cords, power strips, modem, etc.) in a safe place and got to work on the sanding.

Is there any part of Home Improvement Projects that doesn't make your arms feel like they're about to burst into flames? Even my Yoga arms couldn't save me. (Scroll down to the bottom of the page for some crazy arm balance poses. Yes, I can totally do that. For about .05 nanoseconds before gravity kicks in.)

I took periodic breaks to see what Jack Bauer was up to. I don't think I'm going to watch 24 next season. I've had my season of free-for-all TV and now I want to cut back again. 24 is always the same thing: "We need X. X is impossible to get. But we must have it to save American lives. Okay, give me 10 minutes."

Back to the sanding, it would have been helpful to know how magical the Joint Compound is and how responsive to sanding because I could have saved a lot of time from my meticulous application and careful scraping and smoothing and fretting over the lack of smoothness. Sanding makes everything smooth.

It also would have been helpful to know that bathing would be an absolute necessity after sanding. I had to wash my hair twice yesterday.

Last night, where I needed a second Magical Joint Compound application, I was fearless, even developing my own method for getting joint compound into corners which involved a dollop of compound and an index finger. The giant hole that I patched looks poorly but I'm praying the magic of paint to make it look less craptastic.

More sanding tonight. This or this are most likely where I'll get my colors.

Yoga Miracle
This is going to be the last post with photos until Frodo comes out from under the tarp.

I had a yoga miracle today.

I parked in my usual spot, at Yoga Bhoga which shares a parking lot with Nostrana and something catches my eye as I get out of the car.

It's one of my favorite, irreplaceable pair of earrings. I cannot believe my eyes. I didn't even realize I had lost them.

They must have fallen out of a pocket. Some kind person place them on the curb of the planter. And they sat there for an ENTIRE WEEK.

And since I am a creature of habit, I parked in the same place and happened to see them.

How fabulous is that?

Thank you thank you kind person! You have restored my faith in everything.