I always think of lots of things to blog when I'm trying to fall asleep and I often draw a big blank when I'm sitting here.

My sister sent me this URL: Be Kind to Introverts. "Do you know someone who needs hours alone every day? Who loves quiet conversations about feelings or ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but seems awkward in groups and maladroit at small talk? Who has to be dragged to parties and then needs the rest of the day to recuperate? Who growls or scowls or grunts or winces when accosted with pleasantries by people who are just trying to be nice? ... It has been learned, by means of brain scans, that introverts process information differently from other people ... ." Now, in writing, something I've known about myself for a long time.

I also found a good URL with earth satellite pictures from NASA where I managed to waste a lot of time downloading images.

I finally saw Rabbit Proof Fence this weekend. An amazing film, really well done -- I'm trying to write a quick review and keep erasing my words so I'll just say this: it's a very sad story about assimilating aborigines into white society -- it happened in the US and Canada too -- but the filmmakers managed to keep it from being all tragedy. It's worth seeing -- just trust me.

And last item, I was doing some research online related to this writing project I'm working on and I found one of my favorite Hollywood days guitarists Paul Gilbert online. I gotta go back and look at all the stuff. It looks like Racer X is still around too. I still have Second Heat on vinyl -- although I couldn't tell you the last time I listened to it.

If you haven't already you can put in a claim for the overpriced music settlement. It's a somewhat pointless exercise since only the lawyers got anything out of it and cds are still overpriced most of the time.

For Valentine's Day I made Bob triple chocolate brownies with a recipe from a magazine. I've never made this recipe before and it said to be careful not to overbake so I guess I underbaked because the resulting treats were like chocolate sludge and not sliceable. They tasted great. Now that they've been in the fridge you can sort of cut a wedge off.

I also made a roast chicken (which I have never done before) and I used three different recipes for reference. One recipe had photos and suggested trussing the bird using string. I didn't have any string. We have twine for the garden and that didn't seem appropriate so I asked my sister if I could use dental floss and if it would be okay if the floss was mint flavored because that was all we had. She said it sounded pretty Bridget Jones.

This week I had a food magazine with a bunch of recipes for carrots. I like carrots but have never made a recipe that was only carrots. I like carrot sticks, or carrots in things, but not a whole dish with just carrots. This whole line of thinking made me remember when I lived in the dorms at UCSB they always had this gigantic dish of carrot salad. I'm not sure what was in it but it looked like just shredded carrots and raisins. At every lunch and every dinner there was always about 5 pounds of this salad and it didn't look like people were gobbling it up and I don't think I ever even tried it. I'm wondering if this was the same 5 pounds of salad my entire freshman year.

I often see people blog personal things or diss on people at work -- things that you would think might be more private and not in a public forum. I normally edit myself more than that.

But I decided to write about what happened yesterday since it ended up being a strange and draining day.

I felt something, I'm not sure that you'd call it a lump, but something lumpy in my breast and since I hadn't been to the dr. in a couple years I made an appointment and the dr. agreed it felt lumpy and scheduled a mammogram. I wasn't particularly upset by all this and felt confident that it would be nothing but I am a writer with an overactive imagination so I was able to concoct some pretty grim "but what if" scenarios.

Yesterday I had the mammogram in the morning and even during all that I felt okay about everything but there was this moment when I was done and going back to the changing room and here I am with this little flimsy gown, tied in the front, and my sweater over my shoulders because it was cold in the test room and I'm holding my purse and I come face to face with another woman in a flimsy gown, tied in front, with her sweater over her shoulders and holding her purse and we exchanged a flat smile and I suddenly felt completely overwhelmed with sadness and a sense of how vulnerable we all are.

They couldn't get a good look at the lumpiness from the mam so I had to go back for an ultrasound at lunchtime and repeat the drill--so, great, extending my unease.

In the end I got a clean bill of health and I just have to regularly monitor the lumpiness in case it changes. But by the end of the day I was exhausted. It's amazing how something can completely knock you off balance.

Here's a quiz to find out which wife of Henry the VIII you are.





Which of Henry VIII's wives are you?

this quiz was made by the groovtastic ghouls at Spookbot

When I first saw it I thought it said, Catarina of "Aragorn."

I can't remember if I told you or not but Walker gave me the soundtrack to The Two Towers and I've listened to it about 100 times. I love it.

The frames of my favorite glasses broke. They're at least 4 years old and maybe more like 6 and I always get complements on them. I'm bummed. But I'm going to tape them together and use them as my night table glasses. I can tell I need to go to the eye doctor. My eyes get tired after a long day of working/writing. I finally went to the regular doctor to get my annual check up which has been 2 years and I have a dentist appointment in two weeks. My dentist is out in Beaverton which is one of my least favorite places to go but I love her and I've been seeing her a long time so I have put up with it and I just got a notice that she's leaving the office. I talked to Bob about changing dentists to find one that's more conveniently located and then heard a horror story of how he's never had the same person clean or examine his teeth at his place and I figured I'd stick where I am. I like the continuity and also it seems like whenever you see a new dentist they always find a lot of work to do.

I was going to go and find my notes from that Blazer game from a 100 years ago because I said I was going to write something about it and I still haven't done it but I think the moment has passed. I'm just going to ramble about my day(s).

I programmed a Christian station into my car radio because it's commercial free and 9 out of 10 times I like the sound of the songs better than anything else that's on the radio. I'm not sure if this has some greater meaning or not. I'm not particularly Christian except that I celebrate Christmas and mainly because the rest of my family does.

I have discovered a new drink for me. I've never been a huge hard alcohol fan although I usually like tequilla. But generally I'm a beer or wine drinker. I didn't know this until I moved up here but apparently California and Nevada are the only states that don't have special state run liquor stores so I grew up where you pick up your tequilla at the grocery store. Anyway, we inherited some scotch and I discovered I really, really like scotch. So I finally finished the inherited bottle and I went to the downtown state run liquor store and it's this square box with booze on the walls and the middle more or less empty except for some displays and mixers and mini-bar bottles. Bleak fluorescent lighting, institutional linoleum flooring. Other than the cashier, I was the only woman in there and the only person not wearing jeans and a flannel shirt. If I was the hard alcohol industry, I'd be lobbying to abolish this system.

I went to see Two Towers again on Friday. I went to the last Friday matinee and the show has moved to a smaller theater but there were few people there and I slid into one of the best seats in the house: middle row, middle. A few more people trickled in. And then a small child and two adult males who looked like they've spent the better part of the last 10 years eating big macs come in and file into the row behind me and all thump their feet onto the seatbacks in my row, jarring me in my seat. They talk loudly before the movie starts and all through the commercials and trailers while jiggling my seat. I figured they'd have to quiet down for the movie. HA HA. So I had to move seats when the movie started -- which threatened to spoil my Frodo moment -- and I move up several rows and end up next to some poor guy, apparently with a respiratory problem who was snoring. Is it too much to ask to be able to enjoy a movie? What is wrong with people? The same Friday I was at Hazel Dell Fred Meyer and some goofy couple was there with a kid and seemed to think that the entire store was interested in everything they had to say and they had some horrible gadget to make noise -- I guess to entertain the kid -- and you could hear it through the entire store. I just wish people would try harder.