A Few Things I Like About this Time of Year
1. Longer days.
2. Jumping out of bed and not being cold. Same is true for running out and grabbing the paper or getting something out of the garage.
3. Having windows open in the house.
4. Wearing short sleeves. In the winter my long sleeves always dip into the dish water or get dragged through the chopped onions.
5. Not having to carry around an extra sweater, coat, umbrella, hat, scarf, etc. My purse is a little backpack. I like to have my hands free so the backpack purse or the slung-diagonally and worn on the side purse are my bags of choice. In the winter you can’t really wear the little backpack over the coat and under the coat can be an alternative although I look like a hunchback and I have to take my coat off if I need to get anything in my purse.
6. Farmers market, berries and other garden treats.

The Garden Hose Whisperer

Our office had a party last week and there was a ton of ice leftover. I have previously documented my thing withchocolate chip cookies. I don't eat huge amounts of sweets so when I do, they have to be good. I don't need a cookie everyday but when I want it, I want it and I want it to be a yummy homemade cookie.

I almost always have a baggie of cookies in the freezer at the office, carefully wrapped up in a non-translucent bag with my initials taped to it. One time my clear baggie non-labeled cookie stash disappeared.

Now it's buried under 42 pounds of ice. You'd think it would occur to someone to move the stuff in there before putting in the ice but then, no one at my office even likes to close the cupboard doors after they've opened them.

I funneled my aggravation into drawing this picture, which is supposed to be the Wicked Witch of the East's smushed legs with ruby slippers.

On to the garden update. My peas haven't been doing much since the slugs eat their leaves off before they can even unfold. This is all a theory since I haven't seen a slug in my yard in weeks. I've even tried going out first thing in the morning with my scissors to chop them in half but they must be onto me because I never see one.



I didn't realize how poorly my peas were doing until this past weekend when I put out my next door neighbor's trashcan and I stumbled upon their pea patch. Look at that. And look at that tiny green leaf-less stem. Is that the saddest excuse for a pea patch that you've ever seen?

Since the weather is finally warming up, I finally had to deal with the backyard hose. Last year I wrote about the great Pam v. Hose battle. I had limped along this long with a watering can but now I needed some serious spray. It took me 3 minutes to attach. Amazing how easy things can be if you take your time and whisper kind words.

Meanwhile, the only seeds I planted that have done anything are the turnips. I think every single turnip seed I planted turned into a turnip. I think turnip seeds I imagined turned into turnips. I planted tons of greens and beets as well .What happened to them?

Tuesday Potluck

1. One tidbit I forgot to mention about Jeff and Meredith's wedding in Reno: the woman who officiated probably does 50 weddings a week and she still sounded genuinely excited about what she was doing. One of the things she said that I thought was funny was, "marriage is a cool bond."

2. Roger Ebert has a whole book of movie clichés like the hero can always find a parking place right in front. I don't know if he has this one but I've noticed that anytime people are chopping food in a domestic scene in a movie, they are always cutting up red bell peppers. You watch.

3. I recently had a random memory of me in a taxi cab with my visiting Oma (who spoke no English) trying to get to our house in Encino. We lived in Encino until I started 6th grade which means I was 9 or younger when the alleged incidents of this memory occurred. I want to say we were coming home from the airport but how on earth would I have ended up at Los Angeles Airport by myself to take my Oma to our house?

Here's my hypothesis. My sister must have been there, too and Dad must have taken us with him to pick Oma up from the airport and then left us to take a cab home and he went back to work. I guess it's not totally insane to let a 7 and 9 year old take their non-English speaking grandmother from LAX to the Valley.

Rather than give the cab driver our address, I told him we lived in Encino Village, and I don't think this was a common name for the neighborhood, certainly not for a tax driver at LAX, (photos (not by me) here - my, there's a piece of my childhood I haven't visited in eons come and thump me right between the eyes) and we drove around a bit until we found it. At the end of the ride he said the only reason he found it was because he used to deliver milk there.

4. Remember being a kid and anytime something was missing or broken, it was always you or your siblings' fault even if you didn't know what it was or never touched it? Bob and I have no kids and it's amazing how many things get missing or broken and we have no one to blame. Before Bob left on his camping trip this weekend he was looking all over for a flashlight. We used to have at least 6 of them. If the kids didn't run off with them, who did?

5. I bought a new sports bra this weekend to wear for summertime stuff and the way it's made, you have to fasten it behind you. I've been wearing bras for over 20 years and I still put one on by hooking it in front of me, then turning the fasteners to the back and pulling on the straps. The new bra you can't do that and it's been a chore to figure out how to hook the dang thing behind my back.

Mogget Needs Food
Our next door neighbors have a white cat named Duchess that I have nicknamed Mogget. Mogget loves to hang out in our yard and all summer long can be found lounging among the Dahlias napping in the shade or else snoozing on the outdoor patio furniture so that whenever you sit on it you get a nice coat of white cat hair.

We don't mind Mogget except that she completely and totally ignores us and enjoys using our yard as her cat box.

Mogget's people asked me to put their trash can out for them and when I went over there this evening you'll never guess who came running over to me yowling as soon as I opened the gate between our yards?

I said, hello and carried out the trash and recycling, the entire time the cat meowed and followed me. She let me pet her. The only other time I have ever pet her was when her owner was standing right there.

She led me back to her food dish, not that this was unexpected. But I wasn't assigned to feed her and had nothing to offer. Poor kitty.

The Flickr Stream from Reno is here.

Tomorrow is a no computer day. Enjoy your day.

All The Way to Reno
Last weekend we had a huge family get together to celebrate Uncle Barry's 70th birthday and Jeff and Meredith's shotgun wedding. I just reviewed my notes and they near completely worthless. I have a story that would be difficult to tell here without knowing the parties involved. Then I wrote down a story Aunt Judy told about her son winning a contest in college with funny expressions and he won with either: "crazier than a runover dog" or "sweating like a bad girl in church." (They're from Texas.)



I have a vague recollection of jotting some notes later on but I don't know where they are and don't feel like digging around right now. Since my dear husband is off in George, Washington, (yes, a real place) I have the house to myself and decided to do a writing marathon. In between writing I'm doing chores including tons of yardwork and other things but it's turned out that I've been working like crazy — in the best possible way — but I'm tired and looking through all the tiny bits of paper to find my notes doesn't sound like fun right now. If you haven't noticed, I tend to be a bit tightly wound and one of my coping mechanisms is to write things down. Things to do. Things to remember. Things to read. It's awesome but sometimes the sheaf of paper impractical.



(This photo is me taking a photo of Sinead and Curt taking a photo of me. I have a whole series of these. Why does this never get old?)

Bob and I flew to Reno on Southwest. It *was* really cheap but SW is my 2nd least favorite airline after Delta and I was going to link to those stories except I remembered I never put them back up. I'm going to have to do that one of these days. I originally posted the stories way before the Internet was used as a regular source of heinous customer service stories and I got a blizzard of freak notes including several from Delta and Southwest's IPs. We were all so unsophisticated back then.

SW wasn't as dreadful this time around but I don't understand the appeal. I don't mind paying an extra $20 to get a seat assignment. We paid for our tickets 4 months ago and were 2 hours early to the airport and we sat in the last row of the plane because we weren't all dialed into the tricks. Uncle Joey says the tail is the best part because whenever you see wreckage from a plane crash, the tail is the only thing you can recognize.

This story isn't about SW Airlines. We were on the same flight as Aileen, Kathy and Katie so we got to visit at the airport and then got off the plane together and went to wait for our shuttle. We actually were in Sparks, NV at John Ascuaga's Nugget and the way John had his name on virtually everything from the restaurants to the coasters, I'm a little afraid for the size of his wiener. But the resort was nice. Huge casino. Nice, comfortable rooms. Good hospitality. Most of our group was on the same floor.



Bari, Curt and the girls had a suite on the 29th floor. They set up shop and this was the main meeting spot besides the Horseshoe Bar downstairs. Here's the bar. It cost $20 to bring all those extra glasses up. Gouge. Gouge.

I very stupidly drank a glass, tiny cup of white wine on the plane because Kathy had free drink coupons and she gave me 4. Four free drinks, how could I pass without even having one! Even though it was before Noon and I know better than to drink before Noon. Turns out each coupon equaled a dollar so I only had one free drink and then was a zombie for the rest of the day. So after seeing all our cousins, Uncles, Aunties and assorted people I had to take an epic 2 hour nap.

My Mom and Dad arrived by then and after more catching up we went to John's Oyster Bar to get some dinner. After dinner I rallied because we had tickets to see Riders in the Sky which turned out to be fun. The only bummer was I couldn't see very well and turns out the entire upper balcony was practically empty and I could have sat with Mom and Dad and seen everything. After the show I staggered off to bed and swore, "No drinking before Noon, ever again."



This was a sign in the resort near the pool which was on the 5th floor. If I was building a pool, I doubt my first thought would be the 5th floor, but then I'm fine with the size of my wiener. The pool had huge sliding ceiling panels to let in real sunlight.

On Saturday Bob went downtown to go to the art museum. (Yes, Reno has an art museum. I was surprised, too.) His thinking was to get out of my hair so I could visit with all my family without him hanging around. Meanwhile, I was up and about and feeling sorry for myself because I was all alone and didn't want to bother anyone and wake them up. There were two babies on the trip and if I've learned anything about babies, when they sleep, it's a magical time.

I ran into Uncle Joey and we walked over to the coffee house not inside the resort and I had my chai and muffin and then we walked back to the resort and he had a Bloody Mary for breakfast. I hope to be like him someday. The resort had a "Bloody Mary Buffet" and damn, if I didn't manage to get a photo. By now I ran into people I knew every time I walked through the casino. (Our group totaled around 40). I found my cousins and babies and learned that everyone was up before 6am because those babies didn't want to sleep in Reno.

I spent most of the day visiting and went on an epic walk with my cousin, Lisa and enjoyed the wonderful sunshine and desert environs. My cousin Bari planned the party and had sent out a huge spreadsheet with who was going and how to contact them and whether they were driving or flying and when they would arrive and the activities and when/where they were happening. During the whole weekend people were always saying, "What time is that?" or "When is that?" and then the refrain: "Check the spreadsheet." Those without the spreadsheet were in sorry shape.



The big party was in Orozko a Basque restaurant. This is the birthday man (standing) with my Mom and Dad. I thought I had my photo taken with him but must have been another person's camera. No family event has ever been as well documented as this weekend. The party was fun and entertaining. I had the lamb. Yum-baaah.

The party ended by 9pm because Uncle Barry has an early bedtime but a group set out from the casino to an area called Victorian Square where there were some bars and live music. We lasted about one round and headed back. I went to the party suite and was very proud of myself for staying up until 1am with the big kids. Of course, I felt like death warmed over the next day. I blame Auntie's wine in a box. (Well, and me for thinking it was a good idea to drink some.)



On Sunday Cousin Jeff married Meredith and the back-story is his to tell so we're going to skip that part but this all came on very quickly and there was some concern prior to the event sort of like, "what are they thinking?" Everyone in the family who met Meredith said she was great but you still want to see for yourself and long story short, everything is going to be great for those two. I think they both did good. I was at a weird angle and most of my photos are of the back of people's heads but this one looks nice. It's Jeff and Meredith with Jeff's Mom and Dad (the Auntie with the bad wine and Uncle of the 70th birthday) and Jeff's nieces, Josa, Geena and Sinead (Whose Mom and Dad = Bari and Curt with the party suite). Don't worry if you can't follow. I've been related for 43 years and I can barely keep up sometimes.


Bari, Lisa, Kathy and I decorated the wedding car and I suckily didn't get a final photo of the results. It was an adventure because the shaving cream slid down the back and ran out early so there was some extra creativity with lipstick and foam. I really didn't do much but watch.

Super fantastic trip and I will update when I get the Flickr stream up. Now my dinner is waiting and I've earned some TV time. (But not much because it's already 8pm and I can barely keep conscious after 9pm. Kids: enjoy your youth because the older you get, the more appealing sleep becomes. Unless you're Bob.)

Update: Photos are here.

Another Friday Fly-By
It's already after 8pm. Where has this day gone?

I slept in until 7:30 — I know, lazy butt, but I woke up in the middle of the night and thought about the Lost season finale and was disturbed all over again. That was a good one. Then I did some writing and some yoga, did a quick Target run. Is there anything better than Target? I get hypnotized by the bright shiny things. I found my cart half full and I finally took out my list and saw that I had nothing on it.

Had a massage and then worked in the yard, swept out the last of the ants from the shop, did a C+ on vacuuming and now I've cobbled together a quickie dinner. I still haven't gotten my act together to organize the Reno trip so here's what we've got.

Remember the colleague's messy office that he cleaned?


Here's what it looked like when it was in my office for filing. We've been at the new firm for 2 years now and this is the third time I've done major filing. I almost always have billable work to do so I leave filing for later and then I have mountains of it. It doesn't look as bad sitting here but that's a lot of filing.


I spent the entire day on Thursday just filing. You'd think it would look like I made more progress. At least the piles on the floor are gone.


Part of the problem is that there is so much stuff and I'm full up. So what I need to do is archive a bunch of stuff and box it up which takes for freakin ever and/or put it outside on some shelves we have in the hallway.

Last night we did a quick store run and I bought two more tomato plants to fill out my garden. I already have two but I think one is a cherry tomato which is not my favorite and I like to have lots so I can complain about having too many and I can share and make tomato soup. I left them in the shop for planting today.

Bob was getting ready for camping this weekend and went "schwoocht!" with one of the tent poles. While I was watching Lost, Bob came in holding this plant and he said, "Sorry I hurt your plant." He accidentally decapitated the beefsteak. I planted it anyway and stuck the head in some water just in case it reanimates.



And for entertainment purposes: What does a Bob look like?.

It's The End of the World As We Know It
Jeez, that Heroes season finale was doo-doo. I've been tempted to log on to a fan chatboard and see how my opinion stacks up against the masses but I've already spent 23 hours with this show. Now I'm done with it. But the water cooler crowd agrees: Huge Let Down.

Weekend in Reno
We're back. Really we were back late Sunday night and I expected to get my act together yesterday for my epic weekend post but, big surprise, I never got to it and now I'm back to the grind so we'll see. It's not even so much the writing (although I barely took any notes so either it'll be short or I'll make a lot up) as the photos.

For me, the plain old tweaking and cropping takes forever and can get tedious. Plus, I still haven't figured out a system for my photos. I take zillions, delete few and just dump them on the hard drive. The extent of the system I use now involves giving the folders names that start with the year. For example, this trip will be called 07 Reno. But all the odds and ends photos I call "07 random stuff" and "07 scans and whatever" and "07 family and misc." I can never find anything and when I start looking I get all distracted enjoying looking at photos.

The saddest part about all this is that I use the Adobe Creative Suite and it has all kinds of organizational features built in that I keep intending to learn. I have tutorials and demos bookmarked up the wazoo. Just never seem to get around to it.

We have a long weekend coming up and my spouse will be busy elsewhere. I have a plan for how I want to use all my wonderful time and I'm trying to keep it realistic and I don't think Creative Suite is going to be on the agenda. All these great Photoshop/Illustrator skills that I now haven't used for 4-5 months. (Well, I use Photoshop to do basic photo tweakage which means I'm an expert with about 3 features). Next time I fire up one of those programs to do something crazy it's going to take me half a day to remember vectors and gradients and which palette does what.

Meanwhile, most of my shows are shutting down for the season. Tonight is the series finale of the best show on television, Veronica Mars, and yes Katie, I've been crying in my yerba mate non-stop since hearing the news. How come the well written shows seem to get the ax (e.g. Firefly, Wonderfalls, Studio 60)? However, I do want to cut back on TV watching next year and losing shows to cancellation works a lot better for me than quitting cold turkey. I'm strongly considering quitting Grey's Anatomy. (Aside: ABC, your website is crap.) It seems to be getting exponentially stupider. I'm also on the fence with Heroes. But then there's some new vampire show starting ... hep.

I'm doing my usual pre-trip ritual of messing around and not packing or getting organized so I can be certain to be running around in a white heat at the last minute and berating myself for doing this every time.

Some of the garden bounty and a photo of the Portland's finest sausage sandwich. Yum.

While I'm here, have I ever mentioned the thing about the phones at work? I've worked at the new firm two years now and I have no idea how my phone works other than make and receive calls. And I can transfer to a specific extension. I can't program anything. There's a feature called park that's like hold only any extension can pick up although I've been told it's because I don't have that button on my phone. Today I had to cover for the phones at lunch. I've had to do this about three times and I spend the entire hour praying that the phone doesn't ring. There was an important call expected and at least this time I recognized it and then I parked it and then my person wasn't where he was supposed to be and then another incoming call came in. I'm in a 10 alarm panic. The attorney said to make sure not to lose that call so I didn't the only thing I knew and prayed some more. It worked.

My Super Power is I Fit Exactly In Between
This has been a weird week. Every morning and at least once during the day I have to count on my fingers to figure out what day it is. The traffic has been strange. One morning the freeway onramp was completely backed up which usually means there's a problem and better just sit back and hope for good radio tunes because it's going to take forever. But once I was on the freeway it was smooth sailing all the way into town.

It's been sunny and warm and once night I even left the windows open a little crack. I spotted a couple roses out front and one in back plus blooming rhodies that need to be photographed and shared.

Tuesday night we went to see Sherman Alexie read at Powell's books. If you ever have the opportunity to see him read, please do whatever it takes and go for it. He's really wonderful and hilarious. Bob and I have seen him at least a half dozen times and have enjoyed him every time. In fact, I think among our first dates was a trip to see Sherman speak. If you've never read one of his books, I'd start with The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven. It's good stuff.

There are some clothing items I'm thinking about buying online. I want some cheapo comfortable bras for summer. The kind that you can wear under a t-shirt and do the gardening or sports or whatever and they get all sweaty and gross and you can just chuck them in the wash and when they're all twisted out of shape after the summer you don't feel bad about tossing them because they were so cheap. This is in contrast to the work clothes bras that have all the expensive infrastructure to keep the old girls propped up during the day.

(That comment about doing sports is a joke because I don't think I've ever done sports in my life outside of P.E. class in middle school. I can't catch or throw and I don't like to have people watch me while I try to hit something or aim something and I don't like to push people around so I can win things. I don't understand doing sports casually for recreation.)

Online clothing sites usually have some sort of fitting chart and I had my measuring tape and calculator and protractor and quadratic equation reference tome out and worked away and using the formula calculated that I'm a zero cup. I guess I should get some help using the protractor.

I think my perfect bra size is 35 with a B½ cup. Too bad that's not a choice.
With yoga clothes I'm a big small or a small medium meaning I either have to squish in like a sausage or worry about my size zero boobs flopping around.

We're heading off to Reno for a big family party extravaganza which should be filled with merriment and large quantities of refreshing adult beverages and toasty warm weather. My horoscope (Capricorn) says it's time for life to overflow with rewards and I think it means karmic, which is fantastic, but maybe some gambling rewards, too.

Office Culture
For years and years I answered the phone at the old office.

Someone phones and asks for the attorney, the attorney is not in, I convey this information and offer to take a message. Person leaves message. When available attorney checks messages and returns call.

These days I take fewer incoming calls but when I say the attorney is not in, virtually every caller asks: Is there any way I can get ahold of him?

Really? The type of law we practice very rarely involves emergency situations. Unless someone's got a kidney on ice or a man with a hood is 60 seconds away from flipping the switch on the electric chair what's wrong with leaving a message? And like I'm going to freely give out cell numbers anyway.

If he's not in the office, it's generally not because he's sitting around somewhere watching sports or working on his tan. He's on a plane, or in a meeting, or talking to clients who would like his attention right now.

One time someone phoned in a dither because she needed to order his lunch for a meeting later in the week. This gave me the opportunity to work out my secret inner hostility against lawyers by ordering the diet plate. "No, he doesn't touch carbs. Green salad with lemon. Thanks!"

Astra-Phobic
A couple of weeks ago we had an amazing thunder shower with deluge of hail. It was the kind of storm that everyone talked about for days.

For the past couple of years I’ve worked in a tall building on the 18th floor. I grew up in earthquake country so there's a part of me that believes being in a tall building is wrong but I have to admit, I enjoy the view. My office faces north and I can see the river and lots of bridges and a preview of my commute home before I head out the door.

It was amazing to watch the storm move across the sky and the thunder and lightning felt like it was right above my head. From up here the hail looked like very heavy rain. From what I heard, people on the ground said it was pretty crazy. I'm not feeling particularly poetic at the moment so you'll have to take my word for it, it was cool.

As a kid, thunder and lightning terrified me and this fear lasted long after I should have outgrown it. Once, in Orleans, there was a 10 star, theater in the round thunder and lightning extravaganza. I was in my twenties. While a part of me enjoyed the amazing scene, the rest of me was still that little kid with the trembling knees wishing it would all be over.

My boyfriend, thinking if I was better informed I'd be less afraid, asked me if I knew what thunder was. "Yes," I said, and then realizing that I'd probably learned this from a cartoon or something I mumbled, "It's when two clouds bump together."

I'm not afraid anymore (we rarely get thunder showers) but if a flash and/or rumble wakes me in the middle of the night my heart will pound a little.

When I was little my Grandma and Grandpa had a record with a rain storm on it. I wish I could remember better because maybe there was music, too. But there was the sound of rain and then a rumble of thunder which would always make me shiver. And then at the end a long lonely whistle from a train.

Cleaner Closet Now

Yay. One project off the list.

All the winter clothes and accessories have been moved to the back of the closet or stored in a plastic bin. I even found a winter hat that I misplaced back in January.

The summer stuff, what little there is, is clean and ironed. I do this thing where I think I will toss old cruddy stuff next year after I buy new stuff to replace it. Then next year rolls around and I don't get around to replacing anything and I end up using the old stuff thinking it's good enough and I'll get around to buying new stuff later. Then at the end of the season I think, well, now I should buy cheap clearance stuff for next year since all this old stuff is way beyond its expiration date. But I never get around to it and end up getting by with the old stuff.

I like new things. I just hate shopping.

I also packed up some stuff to go to the donation bin. I have a hard time with this. Some stuff I hate to part with because it was a gift even if I don't like it, it's not my style or doesn't fit me. Other stuff is in fine condition and it seems a shame to get rid of it but I don't love it because it doesn't feel good to wear it or whatever. Who can explain why you just don't like certain clothes?

Or Maybe Not Back Later
I saw this sticker on a car downtown on the day I was walking to the farmer's market. Remember the day I was extra cranky?

It felt like a message for me.

I'd also like to report that I saw Mr. Heron again yesterday morning so either there are more than one flying around downtown or he forgot something and had to run back home to get it.



This is another good one I saw at the library this morning. I love the library. I returned a bunch of books that I didn't even read or feel bad about. That's my personal growth mission for the summer. Learning to put books back without guilt.

I finally started that closet organizing project that I've been talking about and I've done the part where I've taken a bunch of things out and placed them in strategic piles around the bed and floor so now I've got a giant mess. I knew it was a mistake to come here and just check my mail for a second and see what's accumulated in the google-reader, and oh, how about a quick blog post and then check the bank balance and maybe take care of that gift I need to buy.

I'm leaving now.

I'll Have Cheese With That
When I'm extra hormonal (really, you didn't notice the all-whine super cranky format of the last few days?) I become psychotic about personal space.

I'm a nut about personal space on a good day anyway but yesterday I went to the Farmer's Market to get my sausage, I'll have to take a picture of this sandwich one day because it's the best food ever and I don't love meat, and there was this mouth-breather in line behind me crowding my space. He was so close he could have dipped my hair in his coffee.

It was a nice day. This is a friendly town. In a normal world I would have struck up a conversation with the guy about the sunshine and long line and how life-changing these sausages are. Instead, I stood there grinding my teeth and thinking evil thoughts about his damp breath on my neck.

Oh well, I won't bore you with the details but I think the mood will be changing here shortly and not a moment too soon.

I'll end this on a more positive note. I'm no bird expert but there is what I believe is a Blue Heron that lives downtown. Who knows the habits of the heron, this isn't the Discovery Channel, maybe there are more than one. But at least once or twice a week in the early morning I see it flying through downtown and sometimes it passes right by my window. I can't possibly convey what an amazing sight it is to see this enormous bird float by so gracefully. Fabulous photo, not by me, here.

I Am Somewhat Satisfied with this Post
Today's Dining In section features an article about Kool-Aid Pickles. I've never heard of such a thing. I didn't even know they still made Kool-Aid. I'm sure my 9 year old self would love them but my old lady self is not so enthusiastic.

So, customer satisfaction surveys.

Really corporate world, you can extract valuable information from a series of questions with responses something like:

Totally Satisfied, Satisfied, Somewhat Satisfied, Unsatisfied, No Answer

(When they're doing it over the phone it's always fun to ask, what were the choices again?)

Toyota has a paper survey that's 4 pages of those questions. I started to fill it out once and after 10 questions wrote in, "How valuable is my time and energy?"

And they never ask you anything useful or anything where you could explain an actual problem.

>Were you satisfied with the way you were greeted?

Unless they throw rocks at me, why wouldn't I be satisfied? If they're super busy and I have to wait, maybe I'm annoyed but what are they supposed to do? Be less busy?

For my stupid body work on my car I received *two* form thank you notes from Kadels (body work shop) and two customer service surveys, one from Kadels and one from Farmers (insurance). Are you kidding me?

How about instead of wasting all these resources on follow up, make my repair cost less? The only thing I was unsatisfied with was the cost. I had three separate incidents that needed repair, two were covered by insurance, one not. Miraculously, the one I paid out of pocket they decided after a review I needed to pay an extra $40. Really, it was worth everyone's time and energy to squeeze another $40 out of me? That's what I get for not taking their stupid rental car. And for being honest. Next time all the scrapes on the car can be from a hit and run.

I've noticed that when I get a car work done at the dealership, if there is the slightest blip in the transaction, maybe I have to wait too long, or there's some disagreement about the repair, there's never a customer service follow up. But when all goes well, they're dying to know what I think.

About a month ago I fired up the Ann Taylor website on my lunch hour to look at some pants and it wouldn't let me look unless I upgraded some plugin. I think if you're going to use the Internet as a tool to sell your wares, you should cater to a wide range of technological capabilities. If I can't look at pants on your website because I need a plugin, I'm not going to download the plugin, I'm going to go look at pants somewhere else.

I sent their customer service a quick note with my error message and browser info and that basic sentiment and I got this moronic response that basically indicated I was too stupid to use my browser and suggested I get help from my Internet Service Provider or my Systems Administrator.

I decided it wasn't my job to teach Ms. Taylor about usability and that was that. The next day I find a customer service satisfaction follow up in my inbox. I ignored it. That afternoon, I received a follow up to my customer service follow up reminding me I could participate in their lame-brained survey. I think Ann needs a new consultant on her Internet strategy.

California Vacation

Our family did an epic California vacation trip when I was in high school. I got a job when I turned 16 so it must have been the summer before that which would make it 1979.

I remember very few details about this trip except that we went to Yosemite and Lake Tahoe. I like this picture. Especially my sister's bitchin' 70's hair and goofy expression which has been previously documented here and here.

One distinct memory I have is driving by Mono Lake (map) (fantastic photo). If you have nothing better to do right now, take a moment to search Flickr for photos of Mono Lake. Lots of good ones.

The landscape is vast and desolate and the lake looks like a different planet. Years later I read a magazine piece about people who live in that area. I don't think the article was specific to Mono Lake but some desert-y, thinly populated part of eastern California. Living in a hot trailer in the middle of nowhere does something to you. The article was filled with interesting characters doing odd things.

It wasn't my intention to write about this family trip today, I was going to write about the main reason for my "things I'm tired of post" that I somehow left off yesterday: customer satisfaction surveys.

But I'm out of time so that will have to be for tomorrow.

A Few Things I'm Tired Of
1. Locally grown, sustainable and organic.
I appreciate the principle, I totally support our local farmer's market but we're at a point where I've heard enough about the plucky couple who decided to spend year only eating what they could gather from within 5 miles of their home, Safeway excluded, and are now telling their story of courage and sacrifice but how great it was to save the world even though they were miserable and sucking on sticks for most of February.

2. Artisanal Anything. (Microsoft Turd doesn't recognize artisanal. Hm.)
See above. I love the idea that people are taking the time to carefully make yummy foods from choice ingredients but every week the paper has an article about some plucky couple who gave up their 10 trillion dollar a year income to simplify their lives and now live in a rural area and work 12 gloriously gratifying hours a day on their honeybee farm carefully crafting heirloom Valencia-strawberry honey infused with Avignon amber thyme and Malasian treefrog peppercorns. Snore.

3. Recipes with Crostini
What's crostini? A giant crouton? A piece of toast? It's like something you put in the recipe to make it sound fancy, like chutney or chipotle before it was a flavor they even have at McDonalds. Likewise serving suggestions that include "crusty bread." Let people decide for themselves what kind of bread (or as Steve would say, filler) to serve. Maybe they want uncrusty Wonderbread.

4. Shuttered
Saying that a closed business has been shuttered. Why not just say closed? It's right up there with coffer for writing cliches that sound like fancier writing but are really still cliches.

Sundaze
I have been meaning to get over to Holiday's for a Sunday yoga workshop for sometime now. I've only been there once in the past year.

I'm meeting a yoga buddy over there today. The workshop is from 12-3 which kind of dictates the entire day.

I did 45 minute gardner this morning and got the pumpkins in and while I was out there found a million other things to do but didn't get far.

By the time I get home this afternoon it will be time to think about dinner. Jeez, the weekend always zips by so fast.

Heavy Bettin'
I was hoping I'd get to this before the race.

For reasons that I couldn't begin to explain, I've suddenly become interested in horse racing.

Since today was Kentucky Derby 133 I had to bet on my first Derby.

I picked my horses last week and the person whose office is a mountain of paper offered to show me how to place the bet (which I kept referring to as voting) and we went to an off track betting place downtown.

This was among the most depressing places I've ever set foot in. The room was like the rec-room in a halfway house (I suppose you could argue that's what it is) and a dozen or so, lived-hard type guys sat slack faced in front of a wall of TVs with cigarettes hanging out of their mouths. One of the guys was on oxygen.

They just remodeled this place. Apparently it was more depressing before.

There's a bar adjacent that I did not see so maybe it's fun in there. We found out you couldn't place bets until Friday and I wasn't going to be downtown on Friday so I would have to place the bet on my own. There's a racetrack not far from our house.

This morning I almost talked myself out of going over there because I'm not the kind of person who gets in the car on a Saturday morning to go and place a bet. But I did anyway because I picked my horses and what if they won and I didn't bet? And while I was over there, I could stop at Lowe's and buy dirt and manure and mulch for the pumpkins.

I've only been to Portland Meadows one other time. It was May 1995 and my future husband took me to see the Grateful Dead. I think Chuck Berry also played. I remember weird people and being unbelievably hot. I'm sure my husband will come running upstairs with a disk after reading this post so we can re-live every moment.

This morning the scene at Portland Meadows wasn't a whole lot different from the downtown betting place but for some reason it wasn't depressing. I made my bet and then wandered around and checked everything out. Then I waited and watched another race on the wall of TVs. The average patron, at that point, was a man of advanced age wearing a sweatshirt and a trucker cap. The ratio of men to women was about 20 to 1. I don't know what it was like this afternoon when they started running live races. But I want to find out.

I didn't win any money but I had a great time watching. I'll be back.

Baking Machine
So this is my tart shell. I got it home in one piece but I left my recipes at the office on Thursday so I had to think of something else to fill it with. I ended up trying this lemony buttermilk "over 50 year old" recipe from one of the Grange Cookbooks we got when we got married.

I guess the recipe wasn't intended for a tart shell because when I checked to see if it was firming up it was boiling. I don't think that was what I was aiming for. The recipe also called for a meringue topping which I've never done before but if it's supposed to look dark brown and have the texture of rubber, I did awesome. The tart doesn't taste terrible. Sort of a third rate lemon meringue pie.

In addition to turning my tart into something, I baked cookies for my work stash. I also fed the sourdough and refilled my homemade granola supply. Very few things are yummier than this granola.

Also I cleaned out one of the pantry annexes. We don't have a real panty so our food is divided into areas. We have the main cupboard in the kitchen, the canned good shelf in the laundry room and the lazy susan next to the fridge. That last one is what I cleaned out this morning.

Do you have all kinds of bizarre odds and ends in your cupboards that you bought for a recipe that you made between zero and one time? Or something you read about and thought you'd try and apparently forgot about a short time after you stuck the exotic ingredient in your cupboard? Yeah. Why did I buy amaranth and millet? No doubt it was some health kick moment. I have a grains cookbook that I've always intended to become better acquainted with. I tossed a few things and made a list of some others with the idea that I may still eat them someday.

Here's my colleague's desk that I mentioned yesterday. He kindly sorted through it all and now most of it is piled in my office. The photo below is the pile that used to be behind his desk.

What he doesn't know is that I throw lots of stuff away when he's not around. Has he ever missed any of it? Has he ever said, "Oh, I need version 11 of that meeting agenda from August of 2005?" No. He hasn't. Never. This post could probably be used as evidence in a malpractice case someday. If that happens, just kidding!




A couple more random items. I saw an ad for Ocean's Thirteen and asked Bob if we ever saw Ocean's Twelve. "Yeah," he said, "I think we did."

"What was it about?" I asked.

"I don't remember," he said.

"Yeah, me either."

I don't think we did. Are we that old and decrepit we can't even remember Ocean's Twelve?

Last comment: Gilmore Girls. I've never watched this show. I'm interested but for whatever reason, I never got into it. The DVDs are on my long term maybe someday list. But I see the previews during other shows I watch on the same station and it is my imagination or is every single preview about one or the other Gilmore Girl getting engaged? How many broken engagements are there between the two?

I Would Pie 4 U
I got home from pie making class at 10:30pm. Way past my bedtime. It wasn't really a pie making class it was a pie pasty class. We actually used tart pans for everything we made. (3 desserts, 3 quiches).

(Geez, how hard can it be to find a photo of a tart pan online? It took me three tries. Kitchen Kaboodle is the lamest kitchen store ever. No time to elaborate at the moment. Also when I put "tart" into the Target search engine it came up with a paperback called "Out of Body Experiences: How to Have Them and What to Expect." I had no idea that the world needed such a book or that it would be sold at Target. One of the authors' last name is Tart.)

The secret to pastry is obscene amounts of butter. I'm not sure I'm going to embrace this method. I don't love butter soaked crust. I'm going to experiment with the butter, shortening combo and also I found a recipe where the author swore by lard. I'm going to try it once.

In class he showed us this one thing and it has a name and I didn't write it down and don't want to turn this into a half hour research project when I try to track it down online so I'm just going to explain it. Once you've got your gobs of butter cut in to the flour mix (we worked it in with our hands)(you don't want it too fine) you turn it out on your work surface and do this sort of smearing thing with the heel of your hand. You're flattening out the butter. You just do it a bit, you don't want to work it too much, and then scrape it up and put it back in the bowl and add your few tablespoons of ice water and form your beautiful ball of pastry.

We all baked a tart and mine is at home now waiting to be filled. Photos to follow.

My colleague is going on vacation and I finally shamed him into cleaning off his desk (I have photos of this, too. Coming Soon.) It never fails that he's out of the office for a week and some emergency comes up and I have to "find something" in the mountain of paper on his desk and it makes me cranky and curse his name and wastes half my day so I'm hoping to avoid this scenario. The downside is that in the course of cleaning off his desk he discovered mountains of work for me to do. The point being that I'd really love to write more about tart class and the fabulous thunder shower we had yesterday and then start my public fretting about all the things I have to do this weekend and how will I get them done, but I don't have time.

I'm Only Happy When It Rains
About four hours after I washed my car it started raining. I should figure out how to market this power.

Tonight is my pie making class. It's the same teacher who taught me sourdough back in February. I hope he doesn't ask how my loaves have been turning out. And I hope I learn pie pastry better than I did sourdough. He makes it look so easy.

Tuesday Miscellany
My scroll ball on my mouse is broken and I never realized how much I loved that thing until the past three days. I don't think I even knew how it worked until a few months ago. How quickly technology sucks us in.

I left work a half-hour early today because the May Day march, protest, whatever it's called, was scheduled to go right by our building and would block the garage exit. I'm sure I'm insensitive and offending some group (I'm so insensitive I don't know who they are or what they are doing but I think it has to do with labor, immigration, or both) but you know it's a long day and my protests don't inconvenience them.

Since I was home early, I decided to wash the car which I almost never do. Sometimes my dear husband will wash it or drive it to the car wash for me. I have a high tolerance for dirty outside car. I like the inside of my car, including the trunk, to be clean and I've been teased about this more than once. But I spend a lot of time sitting in there I don't want it to be like a garbage can.

The outside was filthy from the trip. The Mill Casino gets an A+ for hospitality. Not only was everyone insanely friendly and nice, they seemed to mean it. They are currently in the middle of a huge construction project so all cars disappeared with the valet. If I had one complaint it was that it appeared they drove my car though a fine mist and then parked it next to a dirt farm. It was filthy when it was returned to me and between that and all the road bugs, I couldn't stand it and gave it a good scrub.

I read today that left-handed women may have a shorter life-span. I'm more lefty than not. I chose to celebrate the news with a reduction in my 401(k) contribution. Might as well have fun with that money now. (Just kidding, Dad!)

This morning Billy came in my office and started cracking his knuckles. Like each individual one.

Me: Knock it off. That's sexual harassment.

Him: No it's not. It's OCD.

Me: Oh. I always get those two confused.

—

I know, it's not that funny but for some reason we thought it was hilarious. I guess at 7:30am caffeine deprived people will go to any length for a laugh.