The plant of millions of unripe tomatoes. Part of this guy collapsed under the weight of its fruit and enthusiastic growing. I propped it up with another cage this afternoon.

I finally bought a new pocket camera. I put it off because I bought myself a nice camera. But the nice camera is big and it seemed silly to buy another camera. But my old pocket camera is a pocket piece of crap. I did about 5 minutes of research before I bought it and even then I wondered if I would regret it later and I did.

So now I have a new pocket camera that I can take to the office and on walks and now bug everyone everywhere I go by taking pictures of everything. yay.

woo!

The Office

For something like twelve years I had the privilege of doing my job from a residential condo. If there is any way you can work walking distance to downtown but not be in an office building, I highly recommend it.

A few years ago we merged with a larger firm and moved into the 18th floor of an office building. (part 1 and part2 of that story.) When we moved in, the firm was the only tenant on our floor.

Eventually another tenant moved in. They built a ginormous cube-farm which made me really grateful I've haven't had to work in a cube since the 80's. Or cube-like area since I don't know if cubes were invented back then.

The people who moved in were some kind of commercial-financial something and most of the people who worked there were young men with carefully styled hair and shiny shoes who could not be bothered to make eye contact with you if that was the last act to save the world. And they had a couple of receptionists who would look you up and down as if assessing your clothing and overall look. (Ann Taylor Loft 4 seasons ago bitch!) And if you ever tried to say anything to them they'd look at you like they were a famous celebrity and you were a fan so excited to meet them you just threw up on yourself.

For some reason, I thought this was how office building culture worked.

In our new building new tenants just moved in across the hall. They built a ginormous cube farm. They're also financial something.

Turns out they're regular looking people and super friendly. At least three of them have stopped by to say hello and ask about what we do and then acted like it was the most amazing job in the world. And the receptionist is awesome and just brought over freshly baked cookies and a sweater she knit for me. Okay, kidding on that last part. I haven't met him or her yet. But I'm hopeful.

One Fine Summer Morning


This morning I got up at 5:30a and went and sat on the front porch. I wanted to enjoy a few minutes of fresh air before the solar fires of hell returned for the day.

The cat from next door was crouched on the lawn. I don't know its name. One time the cat was missing and our neighbor brought over a photo and asked if we'd seen it around. He was concerned it might be a grease spot somewhere. In my head I think of it as being named Grease Spot. (Turned out Grease Spot was inadvertently locked in a different neighbor's garage for a couple days.)

This morning GP gave me a look that said: I'm scared of you but also curious why you're sitting on your porch half-dressed at 5:30am. Also, I'm in the middle of something.

About that time I saw what looked like a giant rat scuttle from under a car. But then it had that funny walk and I realized it was a small opossum. It waddled across the street and then speeded up and then dashed into the neighbor's yard and under a bush.

Another cat darted after it. I guess this is what the cats do for fun when we're asleep.

This future pumpkin has almost doubled in size since I took this photo Friday morning.

Today was worthless with respect to writing and domestic stuff. Awesome in terms of hanging out with cool people.

Gruesome heatwave is on the way.

Clarion West Begathon Week #5 Progress Report

Words this week: 3900
Submissions: 0 (I've done 1 of 2 I pledged)

Previous updates: Week #4, Week#3, Week#2 and Week #1

I had a whole list of stuff I was going to write about today but I never got around to it and now it's late and I'm ready for bed.

Here's the short version:

Torchwood = awesome. However, I thought the soundtrack was distractingly over-the-top in several extended scenes.

The Awl is my new favorite website. This week they ran part 8 of 14 of Managed Expectations: Staying Positive in Portland. This is the only part I read but it's especially hilarious to me.

Sample quote:

Do you think I could be a stripper? I mean, I would be a subversive one because I would only dance to, like, Belle and Sebastian and Bikini Kill and I would probably try to organize a union.” Nicole stopped the waitress and asked for agave for her yerba mate.

Bob rented Wise Blood from Netflix. The disk includes an audio recording of Flannery O'Connor reading "A Good Man is Hard to Find" which is one of my favorite shorts stories of all time. I'd be surprised if the clip isn't online somewhere but you're going to have to dig around yourself otherwise rent the movie. It's worth tracking down.

Check In

I've been pretty grumpy lately. No particular reason just generalized mid-summer grumpiness.

I'm kind-of confused because the newspaper this morning predicted that the heat wave is going to continue only hotter and hotter. Whoever writes the newspaper weather summary seems to think weather is an Olympic sport. He's always talking about the records we may break or the records we missed. The Internet forecast is hot but much less dire. The discrepancy is making me overly obsessed with the weather.

On the plus side: tomatoes. I have a few that look like they might be thinking of turning red soon. They've gone from green to shiny yellow-ish.

Clarion West Begathon Week #4 Progress Report

Word Count: 4069
Submission: 1 (see? I'm going to come through)

Previous updates: Week#3, Week#2 and Week #1

About once a year I put together a list and buy a big bunch of spices from Penzey's. I just got my order this week. Anyone who's known me for 5 minutes will know that I veer toward the thrifty. Co-worker was making fun of me last week for washing the plastic forks after lunch.



I am a big fan of bay leaves but I've had this bag for at least 2 years, probably longer. I figured it was time to just toss these and get some new ones. You can see I've barely made a dent in my 1 oz. bag.

I placed my order assuming I was buying the smallest bag which is why I was shocked when I opened the box to find this. It's 4 oz. in case you can't tell.



If you know me in the real world, it's pretty much guaranteed that I will arrive at your door shortly with some fresh bay leaves. Also everything in this house from chai to tacos will be made with bay leaves.



When are the tomatoes going to be ready? I'm so impatient. I check them every day. I also have some sort of squash that volunteered. Three times. That's the wonder of compost, no doubt. I still can't be sure what shape they are. They look like green ones shaped like hearts.

Bliss
I erred on an earlier post when I talked about the chocolate coconut milk ice cream that would lead to world peace. That other brand is yummy, too, but it's this stuff that will make you want to save the world. I saw it when I was shopping this morning and I figured I'd better buy some so I could take a photo and update my story.

* * *

My sweetheart is about 75% recovered from his unfortunate summer pneumonia. He had another doctor appointment this morning and they told him he was on this side of it and just keep taking it easy. He just told me he was going downstairs to watch a German silent film. I said if it was silent, what did it matter what language was in. He sputtered and then threatened to give me a lecture about German film or something. I'm sure he'll write about it later today.

* * *

It's sad how much personal responsibility I'm taking for saving the dying newspaper industry. We get two papers delivered to our house seven days a week.

A few months ago Bob asked me if I was ready to give up the Oregonian. I didn't say no but more like, but we can't give up on it. In the morning I can hear the delivery vehicle and I don't think there's another stop on our street.

However, the Oregonian is getting exponentially more terrible by the day. The majority of the articles are stupid, sound like they were written by a high school journalism class (which is kind of a burn on high school journalism classes, sorry) and generally involve blaming some government entity for everything. Weather. Accidents. Moldy cheese.

In today's Stupidonian there's an article about a small child wandering around by herself in the sheriff's parking lot. An officer saw her and here's the quote: "his police officer's instinct kicked in. He stopped the girl, asked her where her mother was and where she was headed."

His police officer's instinct. Really? Don't you think pretty much any human being with a soul would be concerned seeing a small child wandering around a parking lot alone? Wouldn't that be human instinct? It's a terrible story, the kid was being abused but that doesn't make the article any less worthless. Even the caption to the photo is lame. Later the officer "shrug[s] off praise for helping the child." Isn't that his freaking job?

Here's one from a few weeks ago: a guy caught his own identity thief. Yeah, identity theft is awful but there is no hook in this story. It's like writing a story about your Mom going to the grocery store. "After the meat section, Mom pushed her cart over to produce ... ."

Choice quote:
[The victim] had enough. "To be honest with you, I'm the real [Vampire Lestat]." (aside: made up name)
The voice on the other end protested, "No you're not. I am!" and hung up.

Last item mocking the Oregonian.

The Elks came to town and the article uses 600 words to tell us over and over and over that they were here to spend money.

Choice quote:
Mr. Elk said his wife has gone shopping several times since they arrived Thursday and that the two are considering a tour to Mount Hood. "The Elks spend money when they come to town," he said.

* * *

I was going to use this morning to clean out the giant overflowing email box of doom but I've got an appointment in less than an hour and I haven't even started yet. Since it's been so hot I decided to go out and weed the front yard at 7am when it was nice and cool. I moved these rock-brick things in the driveway and totally crunched one of my fingers. That baby is going to be nice and purple tomorrow. Photo to follow.

My Bedroom Agoura 1982




This is my bedroom in 1982. It's the companion photo to this one

Pretty hip, huh. Like the cool giant pillow recliner?

Super Awesome Treat

I haven't had time to write a good post. It's not for lack of topics.

Today I think it's important to share the word on these fabulous ice creams made with coconut milk. They are scary delicious. The chocolate one should be served free everywhere in the interest of world peace.

This is a short version of a long story but I switched from real ice cream to soy ice cream awhile back because I couldn't pack away a pint in one sitting like I could with the Ben & Jerry's. (I know that doesn't really make sense. I don't know how if there's a way to explain it.) Since then I got used to non-dairy ice cream. The coconut milk ones I could pack away a pint in one sitting. So I don't buy it very often.

Klamath River: river pump and dogs (there's a little one in the distance, too)

Clarion West Write-A-Thon Week 3 Progress Report

Info about the Write-a-Thon here and Clarion West Writeathon Page.

My goal is 3000 words a week and 2 story submissions during the six weeks as in sending something finished to a market.

Word count this week: 3570
Stories submitted so far: 0 (I know, I know. I'm working on it.)

Still not too late to contribute. Even a buck or two is great. My donation page is here or there's an address to send checks at the URL above or you can contact me for more info.

This weekend hasn't been super productive but also not a complete waste of time. I'm hoping for a big breakthrough tomorrow.

I planted these last year and they didn't bloom until after I left for Seattle and they were gone by the time I got home. I've been loving them this year.

I made the last hamburger bun into a Nutella and sunflower seed butter sandwich for lunch this week. Yeah, it was pretty good. I also ate lentil salad every single day for 7 days and just tossed the last couple of scoops into the disposal. No one should have to eat the same lentil salad 8 days in a row.

After fondling the box in Target during every visit for the last three months I finally bought the first two seasons of Angel on DVD. My note here says "Angle" and I had to scratch my head for a minute before I figured out what I meant. I watched the series premiere last night and you know who's in it?

Sawyer. I know. I couldn't believe it either. I had to check the internet to make sure it was real. I don't want to give too much away but he gets staked in the first 10 minutes.

I went to Trader Joe's this morning. I've cut way back on my wine drinking purely as a waistline thing so my trips to TJ's have become less regular. I can't believe they haven't called and asked if I was okay. This morning I couldn't find any Glee Gum. I asked and my checkout person shook her head with some genuine distress. "I don't know what happened," she said. So now I'm going to order giant bags of it from the internet and try different flavors and keep bowls in every room.

I feel like I've been busting ass the last couple of days with nothing really to show for it. I've got high hopes for tomorrow.

Klamath River Photo from Father's Day Weekend

Post vacation weekend grumpiness.

Here's just a general reminder: people – you are all doing it wrong.

Homemade Buns

You're probably wondering why anyone would go through the trouble of making homemade hamburger buns. I'm telling you this recipe is worth it. If you are an experienced yeasted bread maker, this is really easy. Sure, the star of a burger is the meat. But with these buns, instead of soggy bleargh holding your condiments onto your burger, you've got one more delicious flavor.

Try it. I took pictures of the entire meal but the rest came out terrible.

The lemon buttermilk ice cream turned out fantastic, too. Well, that's partly a lie. It tasted fantastic. It didn't get quite frozeny enough. I served with fresh raspberries.

In another amazing announcement, my magazine drawer is empty. Yes, you read that correctly: empty. I have read every periodical in the pile including all the newsletters, the Port of Vancouver Report and the annual Vancouver Water Quality Report. I know I enjoy this only briefly and that tomorrow the mailman will bring me a new pile to read. But for at least 24 hours, I was able to sit back and prop my feet on the open drawer and revel in my accomplishments.

Last note of the day: This is my favorite story I read last year: 26 Monkeys, Also the Abyss By Kij Johnson. I listened to it again yesterday while I was cooking. That's an audio form. Reading form here.

More Party Book.

Because I love all things pumpkin:



Computer gets turned off at Noon and I'm going to spend my afternoon making fun food (sadly, not this treat although I might try it this Fall) and grilling in the backyard.

Update: Oops.

I forgot to do my Clarion West Beg-a-thon Week #2 pdate.

Words written this week: 3658
Items submitted this week: 0 (relax, I still have plenty of time.)

First Dahlia Photos of the Season

You could stumble upon any month of July in the archives and see the same dahlia photos. But I never grow tired of taking pictures of them.

I ran out of the house early this morning to get food for the weekend. I should have timed it about fifteen minutes earlier for perfection. The madness was quickening while I was in there. Tan people in tank tops and shorts throwing beer and hamburger buns into their carts.

That was me except for the tan part. I haven't been tan since the eighties. Actually I didn't buy buns either because I think those squishy things are nasty. I'm going to make these.



According to the hippie gardening book, my potatoes are ready for harvest. I thought they'd be bigger.

I have about six more plants. I'm going to leave the rest of them in there and see what they do. Meanwhile, these will become the world's stingiest potato salad tomorrow. I'll add a bunch of green beans or something.

How did people stay alive when they had to grow their own food?



I'm still not sure what I'm making tomorrow so I bought a lot of scallions. I figure they fill in for anything I'm missing. I think it's going to be burgers using this article for inspiration, the tiny potato salad and some sort of lentil/grain salad that I will make up at the last minute. And lemon buttermilk ice cream.

I'm feeling ambitious now. Let's see how I feel tomorrow.



Here's my giant tomato plant. I think this is the Roma. I was going to photoshop myself standing next to it and looking up at its vastness but I'm too lazy.

Time for writing. Week 2 Beg-a-Thon update tomorrow.

Party Book with Ideas for This Weekend



Bob and I don't have any big plans for the weekend. Well, that's not true. Bob plans to enjoy some Waterfront Blues Festival. I will enjoy staying home. I've gone before and it was super fun but my tolerance for crowds is dwindling by the second and with the excellent weather I'm sure it will be packed-o-rama down there.

We're kicking off the weekend with a Portland Timbers game tomorrow.