Too Tired for Even A Clever Title
Just wanted to send out a quick HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone.

I finally finished the holiday newsletter and if you haven't seen it yet, click away.

Today I accomplished the following:

I exercised. I did the holiday newsletter. It took all freaking day. OOF. I do it to myself because I end up geeking around with the photos and changing my mind what to use and then thinking I'll change the format and geeking with that.

I am now so tired of sitting at the computer and I can hardly see straight. And tomorrow: the paper version. (That sound you hear is me screaming.)

I also made turkey tetrazzini. Can you imagine the expression on a child's face if you told him he was going to have a candy buffet for dinner? This is how my husband looks when I tell him I'm making turkey tetrazzini. It's like eating magical goodness cooked while unicorns dance around the kitchen. (For him.) For me it's just delicious hot food with lots of leftovers.

After I staggered away from the keyboard this afternoon, I wasn't really in the mood for the tetrazzini. The recipe is seriously yummy but also gets every dish in the kitchen dirty and most of the counterspace. But everything was ready to do so I threw it together and made a salad and also a brown betty with the mushy pears we didn't get around to eating. Man, there's a lot of stuff to eat during the holidays.

We've had an excellent holidays and birthday but to be honest, I'm ready for it to be over. We're invited to another doo tomorrow but halfway through tetrazzini dishes I hit my breaking point. I told Bob: I need to stay home. I have things to do, puttering to putt, notes to jot, pictures to cut out, crap to put away, more crap to put in the trash. I'm not up for one more event right now.

Birthday
A couple years ago Bob bought me a Time and Newsweek from the week of my birthday. This morning I flipped through them to see if there was some fun thing I could share here.

I don't know where to start.

The Newsweek cover story has to do with missionaries around the world. The cover price is .25¢.

Time has Painter Andrew Wyeth on the cover. The price is .30¢

Time is a bit nicer with more color ads. Well, more ads period. In Newsweek the big color ads are for alcoholic beverages or cigarettes.

I was born a little over a month after JFK was assassinated so both issues talk about President Johnson and domestic issues. Both include items on the marriage of Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor. Both show a long line of West Berliners waiting to cross the wall to visit with East German relatives.

There's a lot of forward-looking at technology in the realm of travel, planes and space. One ad predicts that by the early 1970's we'll be traveling in airplanes faster than 1500 MPH "probably much faster."

It's a amazing how a person can feel, not THAT old, yet all these things that have changed in my life time.

One favorite tidbit: an article on modern living reports that the bathroom was undergoing a renaissance. Even small homeowners wanted more and bigger bathrooms. Two particular trends: bigger bathtubs which "further threaten[] the national water table," and "female emancipation" leading to a fad in twin installations. You know, two sinks.

My favorite birthday is dinner and a movie. This afternoon we're going to Volver and then trying a new restaurant — well, new to us.

Foraging for Food
This morning I wanted to lay around in bed reading and drinking tea but Bob very persistently convinced me to go on a walk which was a good thing. I had to put on clothes and nothing like bracing cold air to clear your head. I did some yoga when I got home and then dug into the chores.

One of my main adventures for today was getting the food situation under control. There is a fridge full of leftovers and foods purchased with something special in mind that I never got around to. I had to check for funny smelling stuff, consolidate other stuff, chuck stuff past pull date. I bought a bunch of leeks to do something with. Then I bought some more. Some were sacrificed to the compost gods.

I intended to make a breakfast strata while we had the group here over Xmas but we had so much other food it seemed silly to make another thing. I checked the mushrooms and they were still a day or two away from bolting and I had 5 egg whites left from the pots de creme so I threw that together this morning including some leeks. It's in the oven right now.

I still need to pick the turkey clean and get that carcass a-boiling for some soup but I actually made progress on the tardy holiday newsletter and didn't want to step away from the computer while I had that going. This weekend, for sure.

Where is Everybody?
Before I start this post I just want to say that I drove southbound on Front Avenue this morning. YAY! It's been under construction for ever and super inconvenient and it was a treat to make that right turnaround thing off the Morrison bridge and sail down the shiny new smooth blacktop. Another great reason to come downtown today.

Meanwhile: it's hard to reconcile all the chaos and crowds of earlier in the month with the relative calm and unpeopledness that's going on this week. I've driven to work at speed two mornings in a row. The streets have light traffic. We had a small group at yoga last night although that was the case the week before Xmas as well. Bet it's packed next week.

Where are all those people now? Are most of them staying home? Has everyone gone off somewhere? Are there big crowds somewhere else? I'll bet the malls are a nightmare. I hate shopping. Even when I have money I hate it. I get zero thrill from the hunt. If I need a pair of black pants, I will buy the first pair I find that fits me. This is why I do 99% of my shopping at Ann Taylor. The pants fit. I can be in and out of there in 20 minutes. I don't love sales. I'd rather pay more money and not fight the crowds. Plus I'm about as generically sized as a person can be so sales are a waste of time because there's never anything cute in my size.

Last year I took the week between Xmas and New Years off because it seemed like a good time to be off and Bob was off and then I burned through a bunch of vacation days and when summer came I was scrounging for days off.

This year I thought, screw it, save the vacation for later and work now when it's slow and we can all sit around the lunch room and eat cookes.

HA HA HA HA HA

I can't tell you how many things came up yesterday that needed attention right away. I thought I'd clear my desk off. Well, all these people are clearing off their desks too.

Happy Friggin Christmas
I'm at the office today and expected to have time for a nice update HOWEVER, we apparently lost power last night so no alarm-o. You know how it's so dark in the morning and I heard Bob open the bedroom door and then glanced at the clock and saw it blinking and said, "Oh. We lost power."

It was a little after 7am. I usually like to be out of bed by 5:45 at the very latest. I managed to be fast: brush hair, moisturize, go and since there was zero traffic, I was sitting at my desk at 8.

I have lots of work to do and errands to run.

Christmas was wonderful. Lots of fun. Excellent food. Delicious adult beverages. Yummy desserts. Fabulous gifts and prizes.

After gnashing my teeth over the Holiday Newsletter some more, I've got a start. I have a long weekend next weekend but if I don't get it done then, I'm not doing it.

Stay tuned.

Happy Holidaze
Me and Shadow bright and early this morning. Like my morning face?

Family here. Busy but fun. Very little computer time.

Great meals and delicious wine. Saw The Good Shepard. We all enjoyed it.

Tomorrow should be more cooking and hanging out. I have some good stories for then.

How Computers Are Ruining The Reference Librarian
I hesitate to take on this topic given the large number of librarians and librarian fans in my life but, true story, my last several encounters with a reference librarian at a public library have been less than fabulous.

Several years ago I wanted an article from a magazine and went looking for the Readers' Guide to Periodic Literature, a big green book with gold letters that I'd used often when I did research in middle and high school. I like looking things up in reference books.

I wandered around the reference section and finally asked, "Where is the Readers' Guide?"

The librarian said, "What are you looking for?"

"The Readers' Guide."

She wanted me to look the thing up on the computer. I wanted to look it up in paper. I like browsing. I like flipping pages. I knew what I was doing. I wasn't going to hurt anyone. Why steer me away from the books? I like possibly discovering something that I'd never heard of and didn't even know I was looking for.

While I would agree that hyperlinks can take you on the same unexpected journey of discovery, basic database research does not. If you're thinking about making a paper hat for an elf and your search query uses the words, paper, hat and elf, you're not going to get anything without those words (and miss out on the felt hat articles) and probably a whole lot of items about a hat store on Elf Street in Paper, Pennsylvania which doesn't help you with your question.

Yesterday, I had an equally frustrating experience trying to research a federal law thing which so as not to bore you, we'll say it's too old to be on the Internet.

I am guessing that a huge majority of the people who walk up to a reference desk at the public library have no idea what they are doing, however, I had barely explained what I was looking for before I was whisked off to a book which told all the basic information which I already had.

Wouldn't it be worth 30 seconds to take the pulse of the patron? I was holding file folder full of paper covered with notes. I asked a pretty specific question about an 35 year old law so not like it was my first time in the library after my teacher told me to do a report on koala bears.

We went back to the desk and parked at the computer. This story is already getting too long so the readers' guide version is that after trying really hard to answer my question using the computer (which I had already very thoroughly and completely done, believe me, I didn't want to go traipse across downtown in the cold and spend the day in the public library with a pocketful of quarters), and finding the same stuff that I already had, they asked me what I wanted and I told them the same thing I told them when we started this whole rolling circus. Eventually there were 4 reference librarians running around and FINALLY dragging out the old books and we figured out what I need and I had to order it from come storage cave in the mines of Moria and I won't be able to dig into the research until next week.

No one ever tried to explain to me what they were doing, they just let me stand there and assured me they were doing their best.

Come on, show me the reference tools, I could do it myself. Am I mixing up the school librarian with the public librarian? Wouldn't good research skills benefit everyone? I think I've drifted from my original topic sentence and my computer time has expired so I'll just end abruptly here.

At Least It's Not Raining
I don't know what the problem is but I'm completely incapable of getting my act together. Well, I'm getting out the door and to the office and getting work done. But everything else is adrift.

For some reason the city of Portland can't seem to stop ripping up streets and taking forever and a day to repair them. Today's special new treat was that one block, the block by our building that I need to get to the parking garage was blocked off. Large parts of Front Avenue are also blocked off. So I had to take Morrison Bridge to Stark. Stark to Front. Front to First. First to Madison to get back to Front. Front to Jefferson. Jefferson to 2nd. It was like a carnival ride, only not fun.

If I had time I could make a humorous map, but I have papers to file and research to do so this is it for today.

Update: Turns out there was a busted water main not some sort of personal "They're Out To Get Me." Our parking garage had mild flooding on the bottom floor. Also, I think I described the streets wrong but too lazy to correct.

Banner Prize
Yay, one more excuse to procrastinate on my holiday stuff: Jessica sent me the first pass on the banner design for winning NaBloPoMo. I love it.

I asked for goth pumpkin (my exact words) combining my pumpkin love with the cool end credits from Lemony Snicket. Those are my actual pumpkins that I grew.

She did a fantastic job with that. More Jessica designs here and again, Jessica, thanks so much for the fabulous prize.

I can feel the temptation to mess with the template but I'm going to resist the urge for now. Must get to that holiday stuff.

Vandal
A month or so ago Bob asked me to come down to the basement and look at one of the windows. It's a double pane and the outside pane was broken. (I first typed double pain. You can see my frame of mind.) Bob said there were rocks in the window well.

We couldn't figure out if it was a botched break-in or maybe just kids throwing rocks. Both scenarios are a bit of a strain. The window well is in almost plain view of the street so it wouldn't be a great place to break in. And it seems unlikely that some kids randomly ran up to that window to throw a rock.

We didn't worry about it too much and made plans to get it fixed.

Meanwhile, last weekend I walked around the house for the first time since the weather turned bad just for a quick peek. I found a pile of yard debris that I raked against the house and then forgot about. It's amazing you can spend time in a place every day and there are corners that you never look at. I checked that broken window well and I finally saw those rocks.

Those look just like the rocks that I dug out of the flower patch and then tossed into the window well to keep them out of the plants. *oof*

I confessed that I was the most likely vandal and Bob said he was relieved that it wasn't crime.

In other news, I completely and totally do not want to do the holiday newsletter. I have my notes. I've selected a bunch of pictures. I've made my picks. But I'm still mad and every time I sit down I get cranky and obsess on other things and it's not getting done.

I've made huge progress on the shopping part and maybe tomorrow we can get the tree and I can start wrapping and decorating and perhaps then I'll feel more festive.

Storm Damage 06
Last night we had a big storm with lots of wind. In addition to the atomspheric chaos, I was mad about something so I spent most of the night tossing and turning and being pissed off. By morning, in addtion to still being mad, I was tired and cranky and had no desire to drag my butt out of bed except I wanted to get a few shopping type things done as early as possible.

Bob said parts of our fence blew over and our compost bin disintigrated and blew though the fence into our neighbors yard. COOL!

I ran for my camera, but couldn't find it.

I hate not being able to find things so I keep my behavior as predictable as possible. It wasn't in my purse, my work bag or the car. I figured I left it at the bar last night. Great. I stomped around the house because I just got the stupid thing. I haven't even paid for it yet. How could it be lost?

But then I found it in the bathroom. (Whatever) Here are photos of the fence damage.




I used my amazing Illustrator skills to show you how the compost bin looks when it's put together. The bin used to have lots of stuff in it, but I emptied it into the soil when I put the garden to bed in October so all that was in there were a few carrot, celery and fennel scraps plus some icky pumpkin. That's all strewn about now.

Bob said he's go on the store run with me and we were sitting at the stop sign at the end of our street, fully and completely on our side of the road, me standing up on my horn and Bob and I doing a Simpson's type yell, "whoaoaoaoaoaoaoao" when a lady making a left turn onto our street drove into us head on. She was taking her kids to school. The second thing she said when she got out of the car after I'm sorry was I'll be honest with you I missed my last insurance payment. Not even 9am and I already hate this day.

The impact wasn't even enough to set off the airbags and I felt a little bad for the lady because obviously this was a fukup she can't afford, but sweet fancy moses, it was like she was aiming for us. Look at the photo, the damage is on the PASSENGER'S side of the car. She said there was a glare from the sun, which is may be true but doesn't explain how you could completely miss your own side of the street and drive into a car with its horn blaring. The car is drivable but yet another hassle.

We took my car home and Bob drove and we got our errands done without further incident. I'm going to try to do a little yoga and then have some cocoa and see if I can salvage the rest of the day.

Chimichanga From Jax


I won't name names to protect the well-fed and innocent, but that wasn't my lunch. But it looks yummy.

So I was driving home last night and I heard an ad on the radio for a new business that provides lights and other support for people who "want to grow fruits and vegetables in the privacy of their own home."

Now who do you think the *real* target audience is?

Technology is Out To Get Me
I just wrote out this long rant about how trying to buy something from Etsy made me want to brain myself but it seems to be resolved and who wants to read a screen and a half bitchfest of Pam Against the Machine? At least I have gifts for those hard to shop for folks. I hope. Maybe I shouldn't get too excited until I'm holding the items in my grubby paws.

The Best Part Was the Dragon
On Sunday afternoon we took Priscilla and Aunt Betty to Christmas Revels which is traditional olde tyme musical show with singing, dancing and comedy set in 12th century France and is way better than I'm making it sound.

The first time they went, I wouldn't go because it didn't sound interesting. When Bob came home from the show I asked him if very many people went because I'm that clueless like, oh, I don't think it sounds interesting no one else will. Yes, he told me, it was sold out. It sells out every year.

The next time they went, I joined them and loved it. The players are all ages including lots of kids and all kinds of people go with their families. The music is fantastic.

The event is held at the Scottish Rite Center which is a beautiful building that is very old and if you're wondering where Aunt Agatha's ancient orange furniture went after she died, it's in the SRC women's lounge. The building has lots and lots of stairs which is fine except that this is the perfect kind of show to bring your Grandma and Grandpa to and there are lots of elders with a two-handed death grip on the bannisters teetering to and from their seats.

There's a single elevator that fits about 4 and operates by hamster wheel. It gets a good workout during Revels shows. The best part was the dragon. The dragon costume was a guy in front with dragon head, feet and arms and then behind him was about 8 kids each wearing a spiked hoody type costume. During the battle every time the dragon got axed, a few kids would detach and go wheeling off. It was very cute.

We had dinner at Jakes Grill which was awesome. I ate too much and had to be rolled back to the car. We had a dessert which included some sort of chocolate dream in a cup which I enjoyed a great deal and which also made it nearly impossible to fall asleep. A perfect Sunday.

This Is Post Number 1000 and It's Lame
I didn't give myself enough time to do this. We're running out the door right now. If I'm not in the car in 3 minutes, I'm busted.

What's wrong with this picture? I got this camera bag free with my new camera. My new camera is taking the picture. That's the special effects camera which is even bigger than my new camera. I guess Crutchfield must have gotten an extra pallet of camera cases that they're trying to get rid of.

A Crocodile Is Not A Toy
Hey Look. A distant relative got his thumb bit off.

A circus ringmaster performing in Le Mans, France, had to carry on with the show despite having just had his thumb bitten off by a crocodile! Daniel Renz, 39, of Friedberg, Germany, was on tour with his Renz Universal Circus demonstrating to the audience of 4,000 that crocodiles are not man-eaters. As he stroked King, a 5-foot-long crocodile, the animal suddenly snapped its jaws shut, chomping down on his left thumb.

Since today was my first free day since I finished class, as I've been whining about, I had a lot of things I wanted to do. I decided that first I would stay in bed for a few more minutes so I could read and naturally since I was so close to the end I thought I should finish the book. Two and a half hours later, I still had some morning time so I spread the mat out in the yogatorium and put on my yoga clothes and then Bob told me he was going to Omi's to get potato pancakes. I folded up the mat, put on jeans and went with him instead.

I arrived home sleepy with delicious pancake and thought about trying to finish my other book but instead got online and visited blogs from the contest including almost every person who left me a comment. Then I had to leave comments on their blogs. That took the better part of the afternoon.

I had about a half hour left to find the Christmas stuff in the backroom and do the D-minus job on a few chores and then it was time to go to a party.

Now I'm home from the party and I'm thinking it's time for Battlestar Galactica. This wasn't exactly the stuff I wanted to get done today, but it was a good day.

Photos: the first is my Auntie, Mom and Grandpa on the Orleans bridge and the second is the Orleans bridge now.

The Whine and Cheese Edition
This week has gone on forever.

I had insomnia issues. I had hormone issues. The traffic was terminally forked such that I averaged an extra 45 minutes a day in the car. I had my class final this morning so any spare moments I spent reviewing for that. I did a few bits of xmas shopping which are flung all over the floor. There's laundry, dishes, mail, etc.

I haven't even started the holiday newsletter. I haven't finished the photo project. We had electrical work done back at the beginning of October and never heard from them. My dear husband called more than once to try to find out what was going on, did additional work need to be done, what sort of bill were we looking at and not only did they not provide this information but they weren't very nice about it. I ordered him to stop. We don't grovel to pay people in this household.

Meanwhile back in September I called our heating oil place and asked if they could top us off then. No, we're on a special program, they bring it automatically. I told her that it never failed that we got this giant oil bill in the middle of xmas. Filled with a deep ambivalence about making the customer happy, she told me it would cost extra if I wanted oil right then. I told her to forget it, we'd deal.

Guess what arrived yesterday? An electric repair bill AND a fuel bill. $1000 of extra bills right in the middle of xmas. Thanks everyone!

But now I'm finished with my test and feel confident I performed decently. Two months ago, I fortuitously made a massage appointment which I can look forward to in a short hour. I've just had my hot cocoa. I'm going to relax this afternoon and emerge on the other side refreshed and prepared to charge full speed ahead.

Photo: Hey look, I must have won a t-shirt, too. It was64 KFI as visitor Mr. Toast was kind enough to point out in the comment he left here. The photo includes my Grandma and my sister after what was probably a fun day in Orleans, hiking and swimming and a picnic lunch.

Hasn't She Read MISERY?
My co-worker likes, or used to like I should probably say, this writer named Melanie Rawn. I've never read her and know nothing about her but based on a quick peek at her website: looks like magic, princes and dragons.

She apparently started a book series and has yet to complete the third volume.

We go to Looking Glass Books on a regular basis and every time we're in there, he goes to the new books in the fantasy section, ready for book 3, and is denied every time. This has gone on for years.

Earlier this week we stopped in the bookstore at lunch and he said he wasn't even going to look. That it made him mad. But I was up there poking around and he eventually stopped to look at the new books.

I heard a gasp. He pulled a hardcover book from the shelf. I could see her name on it.

Finally!

Except: this was not book 3 of the series. She wrote a whole different book about some other princes and magic. Can you imagine the cruelty of a writer who leaves readers dangling like that and then finally writes a book about something else?

Because of Rawn I can't get him to read Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell because he won't start a series that isn't finished. Way to go, Melanie.

Some Day My Prints Will Come
When I first got my first digital camera I spent about 30 seconds flipping through the instructions (memory card, battery, go) and then ran off to take my pictures. One part of the instructions that I did notice was that if I put the camera on a certain setting, I could take 1000 photos on one memory card. 1000!

I never looked back and it wasn't until I took my first Photoshop class shortly thereafter that I understood that my pictures looked pretty crappy. Plus I figured out that even in extreme circumstances like vacation, I did not take even close to 1000 photos.

Meanwhile, since I went digital I have never made prints. We don't have the technology at home or office and my primary purpose was for web so I never did it.

Recently, I decided I want prints. I have a bunch of shots I'd like to share and a huge part of my extended family lives in a rural area which is dial-up city so you can imagine how exited they're going to be to look at a Flickr stream. It's holiday time, why not take the time to figure out how this works and print stuff that can sit on the kitchen counter during the holidays for everyone to enjoy.

There's a camera shop near the office and I took the time and trouble to actually walk in and ask them how to do this: CD? Thumb Drive? File format? I would have had better luck getting information from the sandwich shop next door. What, are these state secrets? And if you're going to have a job in customer service, shouldn't the most basic qualification be that you have some tiny something that resembles a personality?

Armed with what I could pry out of her, I went home and decided to do a test run. I took a dozen photos and dicked with colors and filters and cropped them and saved them in different ways so I could get an idea of how they would look. Went back with my CD and they have two billboards hanging over the counter with prices and instructions and I guess they do 1 hour printing. I don't know. Clear communication doesn't appear to be part of their business plan.

Drone #2 takes my CD and money and asks what time I want to pick them up and since I don't need them in an hour I say I'll come back tomorrow.

I went back yesterday and Drone #2 was back at her post. I asked if they had a flier that explained all the pricing scheme so I could figure it out and she said no, but she could answer any questions. (!) Then she told me that my photos weren't ready yet.

I guess if you don't want them in an hour, you have to give them 24 hours. Maybe that could have been explained to me earlier. Now I'm mad. Fred Meyer photos, here I come.

Stink-O-Rama
Something in the refrigerator stinks and I don't know what it is. On a scale of one to ten, I'm a ten plus when it comes to paying attention to what's in the fridge. Old foods do not linger there.

I've probably thrown away tons of good food because I couldn't remember how long it had been there or because it had a slightly odd sheen that could possibly be the beginnings of mold or something that could make you sick or kill you.

I've gone through every shelf. I've (very carefully) sniffed Rubbermaids® and dairy products. Nothing like taking a big whiff of something that smells low tide on a hot day to ruin the dinner hour. I've even tested the condiments. I'm not finding anything stinky.

But when you open the door. OOF! I hope this isn't the beginning of an XFile or something.

Meanwhile, the new camera arrived, thus the excuse for picture taking. Is it just me or does looking into other people's refrigerators bring up hard to place feelings of pity?

I'm A Wiener
Yesterday I got some good news and some bad news in the same five minute period. The bad news was when I pulled my jeans on and had to coax the zipper up. Someone needs to cut back on dessert. The good news was when I sat down at my computer and found out I'm the NaBloPoMo Grand Prize Winner.

I think this is the part where I say, I've never won anything, except when I was in high school I won a KFI beach bag on the radio. It was a canvas bag with a towel that said "67.1 KFI" in orange letters (I can't remember if those are the exact call letters and number because this was the early 80's and I've lost a lot of brain cells since then and the only details I remember about those days involve wildly humiliating events) and an orange AM transistor radio that played 67.1 KFI. So I win things about every 25 years. I need to mark the calendar for 2030 to keep my eyes open.

For everyone who's here for the first time I'll give you the 15 second intro.

I'm 42, have a fantastic husband and live in Vancouver, Washington. I'm a proud member of the Karuk Tribe of California. I'm a legal assistant and have been working with tribes in the Pacific Northwest for something like 14 years. We have no kids and no pets and enjoy movies, books, anything with melted cheese and a wide variety of delicious adult beverages.

I have had a personal website since April 1996. They wayback machine only takes you to 1999. I wish I'd been more diligent about archiving when I started but it didn't occur to me. I was going to try to recreate the first site for my 10 year anniversary but never got around to it.

Typical posts are about cooking, gardening and how the rest of the world is doing it wrong.

A few classic posts include my emails home from a Europe Trip in 2000 (also the quaint and primitive html is good for a laugh), going to a String Cheese Incident show, the one about the barbie tampon and how amazingly little I understand about current music.

I had a great time in November reading (and bookmarking) zillions of new blogs. Lane's randomizer is responsible for hours of lost productivity but it was a fun way to check in and see what people are doing. Ginormous thanks to everyone who participated and commented.

Finally, super huge thanks to Eden for organizing the event and to and Jessica for offering up the big prize.

The rest of today will be spent studying for my class, working on two huge computer oriented holiday projects and staying away from the randomizer.

NaBloPoMo Wrap Up

After the first day, I decided not to mention NaBloPoMo in my posts. This was a little rule I made up for myself since the point seemed to be to write every day, not write about writing every day.

The other rule that I made for myself was that I would visit at least one new blog every day and I would leave a comment every day. Prior to NaBloPoMo I've never left a comment on a stranger's blog. I've never even thought about it. The first time I did, I thought the sky would open up and people would point and laugh. (BTW: Angelfeet got my comment cherry.) I could go into a long-winded internal examination on this tendency of mine to participate without participating, but it's not that interesting and I don't have the energy right now.

Let's just say, now I've tried it and I like it and I'll do it again.

The daily comment rule fell apart around Thanksgiving when I got backed up with school and holiday stuff and to be honest, ran out of steam. Sometimes I can't bear the sight of my computer. Still, I averaged way more than one blog a day thanks to the hypnotic spell of the randomizer and I think I averaged at least a comment a day.

I've added zillions of new blogs to my bookmarks. It should be easier to keep up when everyone isn't posting every day.

If anyone from the contest is still hanging around, thanks for reading and/or commenting. I've visited everyone who's left a comment and tried to leave a comment so you'd know I'd been by, as if this was all mandated by the fair and decent blogger rule book.

Overall: Good time. Thanks to fussy.org for putting it on. I'm sure it was tons more work than she'd expected.

In other news I finished my Illustrator final project and turned that in today. I have one more class which will be the final exam. I'm starting to feel like a free woman. Time to get that holiday stuff together.

I Was The Only Person There Without A Nametag

The Star Wars exhibit was half completely awesome and half, to paraphrase Douglas Coupland, very Krusty the clown. From the geek perspective it went to 11. Personal highlights included R2D2, C3PO, Darth Vader costume, lightsabers and of course, Luke's landspeeder which had a giant sign that said "do not touch" and I desperately wanted to touch it but didn't want to set a bad example in front of the children. The many, many, many children. More on that in a second.

I also liked the wampa and wished I had my wampa with me so I could show it what it would look like when it grew up.

One thing I thought was hilarious was the little video features they had which in a completely straight-faced Discovery channel manner discussed topics such as what drives the economy of Tattooine, how living things can survive the rugged ecosystem of Hoth or the culture and customs on Kashyyyk and the communication limitations of the Wookie.

I also thought they did a pretty good job of creating an actual exhibit from what is essentially a bunch of props. They had interactive stuff for the kids to do: make robots and play with some sort of magnetic thing like pod racing and ride on a hover chair thing. They also padded it out with some actual real life science, for example a section on prostheses. (Remember both Anakin and Luke lost a limb(s). A lightsaber is not a toy.) Also some stuff on transportation and the maglev train, living in harsh weather conditions and current technology and deep space travel. (They say: not happening anytime soon.)

I was there on a weekday morning shortly after opening so I had zero lines but I got a feel for what a ginormous money making machine this must be ($15 adult, $13 child/elder). There was a tent out front with switchbacks for entrance into the museum. More switchbacks inside. You buy a ticket for a certain time and then wait to be let in. I can't imagine what it would be like on a crowded day.

I know the exhibit is aimed at kids. I knew kids would be there. I underestimated how many there would be and that they would be at the age too big to be cute and too young to have their shit together when they're out in public. I'm exaggerating a little for story-telling purposes but they were pretty hopped up and bouncing off each other, roving around the exhibit in loud packs and generally oblivious to anyone else that might be trying to look at/listen to something. More than once I'd be standing there watching a video when a kid would come up and hit all the buttons, stopping and restarting the presentation and then wander off again.

Maybe I should clarify that I entered the exhibit shortly after several classes totaling about 100 kids arrived. When I bought my ticket the cashier warned me so I killed some time in a nearby exhibit that happened to be about aging. That got old quick. (ha ha)

Two good moments. During my first attempt (it took 3 tries) to examine the lightsabers a kid, hunched over the display so no one else could see, said "This is stupid. They don't even have Yoda's." Later I was looking at some sort of model for Luke's fake hand that we see at the end of episode V and two girls walked up and said, "Ew! That is disgusting."

On the way out I cruised the gift shop (part 2 of the money making machine) but resisted the urge. I barely have a place for all the Star Wars stuff I already have.

Final review: totally worth it.

Save the Cheerleader, Save the World
I need to be very focused this morning since I'm going to sneak out of here in an hour and check out the OMSI Star Wars exhibit.

Item 1 - There's rumor that some freezing rain is on its way. Fantastic. I don't mind freezing. I don't mind rain. But the two together is an ugly clusterfuk from hell. Earlier in the week I packed up a redrope with work I could do at home and I've been carrying it back and forth so if I can't come in, I can do stuff from home. At the same time, I put my sweats and an extra book and glasses in the car so if I get stuck downtown and have to stay on someone's couch at least I have something comfortable to wear and something to keep me busy. Twice the redrope has fallen off the front seat and turned out all the papers onto the floor. Also once at home. Maybe it's trying to tell me something.

Item 2 – Earlier this week I wrote about being both-handed. Last night I was awake between 2 and 4am (not on purpose) and thinking about my Illustrator final project which is an ad for tea. We were given a bunch of photos to use as possible models and I took the tea cup and the tea pot and reversed them in Photoshop so that the handle was on the left. It seemed like it would be easier to draw that way.

Item 3 – Today the NYT food section has an article about fancy cocktails and one of the people mentioned in the article is a "bar consultant." That's his job. I didn't even know that was a choice.

Item 4 – Am I the last person to figure this out? Or the only person to even care? The cheerleader's dad in Heroes was Steven Carrington. Steven Carrington!

How Euphemism Ruined Discussion of the Tossed Salad

I didn't eat very much yesterday so I'm starving this morning.

I just read FoodDay and thought every recipe needed to be clipped and tried as soon as possible. Sort of like going to the grocery store hungry.

The feature article highlights three people who donate time cooking for fundraisers. There's a gumbo lady, a cabbage roll guy and a loukoumades (honey dipped donut hole) lady. I don't like frying and neither does my digestive system so the donuts are out, but the other recipes are a must try. I don't like beef or pork very much either so my cabbage rolls will have ground turkey. I bet if that guy knew I was even considering this substitution he'd come to my house and confiscate my cabbage.

As I was reading the article I was thinking of how great it would be to learn to make different kinds of foods standing elbow to elbow with people who've been making them for years after learning from their parents. Then I thought about how many of such opportunities I've squandered because I was too busy visiting in the other room.

There's another article on salad dressings. This is another type of recipe that I always clip and hardly ever use. I'm not fond of creamy dressings. I hate bottled dressings for any reason except convenience. I have a standard vinaigrette that I make with slight variations.

I've developed a genius salad making technique over the past year. We get huge bags of fresh greens from a local farmer so we have salad almost every day. I make a two serving salad in a shallow bowl and use designer salt and a couple twirls of designer pepper. I throw on a variety of other chopped vegetables and depending on my ambition level, add crumbled cheese, toasted nuts, maybe some dried fruit and possibly some other random leftover that might fit in. Then I drizzle on the dressing and toss until the leaves are coated. Then it goes into serving bowls and onto the table.

Have you ever run into these annoying people who spent a semester in France and can't stop telling you how brilliant France is because they eat the salad after the entree? Oh, so great, just because it's France. What if the U.S. served the salad last and France served it first. Would that be the better way? What if Tunisia served the salad last? Would anyone talk about how awesome Tunisia is? I like the salad with the meal.

What I think is wrong is when you're served a salad heaped in a dinky bowl with a little side serving of separated vinaigrette that you're supposed to add. No wonder people don't eat more vegetables.

Pam CrossedHands
Before I start, I'd like to mention that the November 1942 rainfall record has been broken. We're at 11.61. And the month's not even over. And more precipitation on its way. And maybe even snow. If you love endless buckets of rain, this is the best November ever.

A couple weeks ago when I was at Ki's yoga workshop, she said something about being a right hander trapped in the body of a left hander and something about school and nuns not letting you write with your left hand.

I started thinking about it and I'm both-handed. Wikipedia has a whole article on cross-dominance.

I write, eat and do domestic things with my left hand. Domestic meaning ironing, sewing, scissoring, wielding cooking utensils, hair and tooth brushing and holding garden nippers.

When I started guitar I had it strung left handed but my teacher put a stop to that and encouraged me to learn right handed. Could this have contributed to how bad I was at it? Even now if I play air guitar or air violin, I do it left handed.

But sports, which I am also bad at, I do right handed. I throw with my right hand, catch with my right hand (problematic), bat right handed, and hold any kind of racket or paddle in my right hand. In gymnastics I did right handed routines and in yoga my right side is usually a teeny bit stronger. But if I was going to shoot a gun (sports or domestic?), I'd do it with my left hand.

What's really mixed up is that I mouse right handed. When I do Photoshop or Illustrator I do drawing, lassoing or whatever with my right hand. This weekend I got the electronic tablet out thinking it would be easier for me to use my left hand. Wrong. The drawing part was easier but navigating and clicking was awkward. I found myself with the pen in my left hand and the mouse in my right hand trying to coordinate.

I wonder what the lesson is here.

How To Do A Holiday Newsletter

If you've ever opened mail in December, you've probably received a multi-copied holiday letter from a friend or family member. And for every one you've liked, there are probably five that you thought were dreadful. Most years I start my holiday newsletter over Thanksgiving weekend. I read over some of the previous years and look at my calendar and make notes and look through photos and then try to whip out a quick first draft. Then the following weekend I can finish it up and get it ready for posting/printing.

After doing a newsletter for 15 years I've decided I'm qualified to pass on some tips.

What's the point of a holiday greeting? Generally to make a connection with people. Signing your name at the bottom of a card does little to further this goal. If you're a terrible writer, super busy or would prefer to spend your holiday time doing other things, consider the photo greeting. You don't have to have kids or pets to go this route. Just find a fun photo of yourself, take it to your local photo processor, order up a bunch and send. Easy.

If you want to go the multi-copied letter route, take some time to figure out what you want to say. Avoid making a list of your activities and accomplishments. If you're going to do that you might as well copy a page from your day planner or send out one of your annotated grocery lists. No one wants a list of your children or grandchildren's purchases and activities either.

Wrong: "We traded our Jaguar for a BMW, chartered a yacht for a 28 day Mediterranean cruise to celebrate Madison's perfect SAT scores and our son cleared 7 figures on the housing development he completed after years of litigation over the so-called wetlands destruction."

Avoid use of the word "continue."

Wrong: "Wilford continues his weekly shuffleboard classes while I continue to be active with the Daughters of the Confederacy and Baking league."

Instead, try to tell stories and use lots of details. Try to create a picture of something you did.

Right: "The highlight of our cruise was the twilight disco where we danced with an Elvis impersonator while the blazing sun set into a clear, blue sea."

Don't feel like you're limited to events of the past year. Tell an old family story.

Use an informal conversational voice. Writing in a monotone isn't in the holiday spirit.

Life is made up of all sorts of events and a holiday letter doesn't have to ignore tragic events. Use your own judgment on how to approach this.

Avoid a list of your health problems. People care about your fitness but don't need all the gory details of every replaced valve, removed organ or impaired function.

Avoid the temptation to write something that rhymes or is written in the voice of a pet, child or someone who died. I suppose this can be done cleverly but unless you're super confident that you're good, I wouldn't do it.

Don't (and I'm totally guilty of this, sorry) make it too long. No one wants to have to set aside an afternoon during December to read your holiday newsletter.

When it's time to put it on paper, use a simple layout with an easy to read typeface. Don't go crazy with the fonts or font colors. Include pictures. People like pictures. Or drawings. Or make a collage. I should note here that I put mine online and make paper copies that I can hand out or send to people who aren't into that Internet thing.

If you're a bad writer, consider doing a page with pictures only. Write a few explanatory captions. If you're bad with computers, use photos and tape and take it to the local copy shop. Another idea might be send a holiday recipe with a story about it. There are no rules so you should do what you want as long as it's not something that would embarrass your family. Even then, do what you want. It's your stamp.

Finally, don't worry if you send it after xmas. People love mail and no one will judge your for sending it out late.

If you have anything to add, comments are open.

Black Friday Video
If you haven't seen it yet, some black friday videos here.

I do not understand this. This is a country where people will pay $5 for a cup of coffee or $3.99 to download a special annoying sound for their cellphone.

Why in the name of all that's good and holy would anyone want to get up before dawn and then brawl to get a special deal on something?

If it was a constitutional requirement, I would pay double to get out of it. I can't think of anything I want that badly. If it was the last kidney on the planet and my only hope for survival, I still wouldn't do it.

Project update: I'm about 90% finished. There are a couple special requirements (how am I going to shoe horn a clipping mask into this thing?) that I can't wrap my head around tonight. But I can smell the fresh paint at the finish line.

Clear Skies
Every day the paper reports how close we are to breaking the record for rain in the month of November. As of today we're at 11.14 and we need to beat 11.57.

This is one record we don't need to beat and today we celebrated the sunshine by going for a nice long walk by Vancouver Lake. I took the special effects camera (new camera should be here next week) and got a few shots which were decent enough to share.

Meanwhile, Illustrator final project kicking my butt. Cannot linger here. I'm going to hammer away on it until bed time and whatever isn't done will have to be thrown together at the last minute. I have other things that need my attention this weekend.

Epic post not ready yet but I'll give you a hint: it has to do with holiday newsletters. If you look at that page, don't look at 2004. It's all screwed up and yet another thing I haven't had time to fix this weekend. My desktop is littered with photos and text clippings (and Illustrator items). I just can't get it all done. Note to self: if you ever take a class again, don't do it Fall quarter. Finishing a class during the holidays is caca.

Update: I fixed 2004. You can look at it now. It could use additional tweaking but this is going to have to do.

(Aside: I was at the bar last week signing my bill and the bartender gave me a bad pen. I used one from my purse. When I handed him back his pen, I said, "This is caca." He said, "Does that mean it doesn't work?")

Insert Sparkling Clam Joke Here
I have an epic post for this weekend but I didn't get to it yet. I spent all day working on my final project for Illustrator. I'm slow and not especially artistic and having a hard time.

Meanwhile, the non-traditional Thanksgiving dinner went fantastic.

I ran into trouble with the pasta maker because the person who designed it had a limited idea of how thick a kitchen counter might be, as if we had kitchen counters/tables/whatever made out of a sheet of plywood. I couldn't clamp it down. For the first rounds of flattening it didn't matter but as I got to the last couple of levels I needed more muscle and I couldn't hold the pasta maker down, crank the handle and manage the pasta at the same time so it got all gummed up which lead to me opening the dinner wine a couple hours early. I ended up finishing it with a rolling pin which required a lot of brute strength, it's not like rolling cookie dough. The strands were all different shapes and some with rough edges but turned out fine when it was cooked. It was excellent pasta but I'm not sure worth that much extra work.

Now that I've done it once I think I can make it easier next time. I'm going to try at least once more before I give up on homemade pasta.

The linguine turned out excellent. I sauteed Prosciutto with leeks and garlic and then added some cheapo white wine and chucked my very thoroughly scrubbed clams in there. I had clam paranoia so they were sparkling by the time I got through with them. The recipe called for cherry tomatoes which are out of season and I don't like to cook with them anyway. I used a half a jar of sun-dried which was a good call. The cooked noodles get added last and after letting it all mingle together for a few minutes, it gets heaped on warmed plates and sprinkled with parsley and toasted pine nuts. Excellent.

The bread didn't rise into a pretty dome but tasted great and the roasted potato and spinach salad had a nice zing from the dressing, a fairly generic vinaigrette with tons of shallots. I ate leftover salad for lunch today.

The brulee turned out creamy delicious but the torch was a little scary. It doesn't come with many pictures but tons of directions with millions of danger disclaimers so I was afraid I'd blow up myself and/or the house. Filling it with the butane is also scary and I had some dripping down my arm which I then washed for 20 minutes so as not to accidentally ignite it.

The directions weren't clear on how much sugar to put on so I used a lot and the torch is like a extra-hot hair dryer and blew the sugar around which I didn't expect. Also the sugar didn't slowly burble, it melted and pooled into a brown mass. At that point I figured it was done. It tasted fantastic.

Priscila brought crab and shrimp and crudités so we did end up with way too much food. But we've got all weekend to eat it.

For Those About to Feast
I have about a half hour before I need to hit the kitchen in order to have dinner ready by 5pm. I made the Crème Brûlèe yesterday. I bought the culinary torch which I can't wait to use and 6 ramekins. Note to Kitchen Kaboodle: could you just pony up the extra 3½¢ per item it would cost to get stickers that peel off easily rather than the crapshit you use so I have to spend a half hour scraping and goo-goning to get my new ramekins clean?

My mother-in-law was kind enough to clip an article for me from one of her magazines that tells a common version of the first thanksgiving story including happy pilgrims and Indians whooping it up with lots of sharing, caring, giving and general good cheer.

In return, I've clipped for her a few articles that tell a less common version of the story which is a little darker and shows a side of the pilgrims that is not so generous.

From Deconstructing the Myths of The First Thanksgiving

Myth: The First Thanksgiving occurred in 1621.

Fact: No one knows when the “first” thanksgiving occurred. People have been giving thanks for as long as people have existed. Indigenous nations all over the world have celebrations of the harvest that come from very old traditions; for Native peoples, thanksgiving comes not once a year, but every day, for all the gifts of life. To refer to the harvest feast of 1621 as The First Thanksgiving disappears Indian peoples in the eyes of non-Native children.

Quoted from: The Hidden History of Massachusetts

According to a single-paragraph account in the writings of one Pilgrim, a harvest feast did take place in Plymouth in 1621, probably in mid-October, but the Indians who attended were not even invited. Though it later became known as "Thanksgiving," the Pilgrims never called it that. And amidst the imagery of a picnic of interracial harmony is some of the most terrifying bloodshed in New World history.

From The Thanksgiving Myth

Jump 129 years to 1621, year of the supposed "first Thanksgiving." There is not much documentation of that event, but surviving Indians do not trust the myth. Natives were already dying like flies thanks to European-borne diseases. The Pequot tribe reportedly numbered 8,000 when the Pilgrims arrived, but disease had reduced their population to 1,500 by 1637, when the first, officially proclaimed, all-Pilgrim "Thanksgiving" took place. At that feast, the whites of New England celebrated their massacre of the Pequots. "This day forth shall be a day of celebration and thanksgiving for subduing the Pequots," read Massachusetts Bay Governor John Winthrop's proclamation. Few Pequots survived.

To end on a lighter note fromAddams Family Values:

[As an Indian, ad-libbing during a Thanksgiving play]
Wednesday: Wait, we can not break bread with you. You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, and you will play golf, and eat hot h'ors d'ourves. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They said do not trust the pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller. And for all of these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground.

A Simple Plan
I do not do crowds if I don't have to. I don't wait in long lines. I'd skip my own funeral if it took more than 5 minutes to find a parking place.

I took today off partly to get started on my final project for my Illustrator class, partly to do some day-before cooking projects and partly to avoid the evening commute. Between the weather and the holiday traffic, it will no doubt be a long, slow haul.

Bob had to work late last night so I made plans for some dinner and drinks with a friend downtown and then I wanted to stop at the New Seasons on Interstate on my way home. All the upscale-natural type food stores near our house have moved across town or closed so as part of my holiday weekend planning strategy, I thought this stop would make my life easier. HA HA

I won't bore you with the details but I've never been there before and almost never drive to that part of town so I got completely lost and it was dark and raining and my windows all foggy so pretty much optimal driving conditions. When I finally found it there was a line to get into the parking lot.

I optimistically inched along and then joined the dozen SUVs that circled the world's smallest parking lot, in the rain, dodging customers, can't see for crap. Who builds a market with 20 parking spaces?

The earlier D&D at least kept me sedated so I exited the micro-park as soon as I possibly could, who knows how long and how violent it would get for parking and the area is not set up for street parking. Then got lost finding my way back home again. That aspect of the plan failed on all levels.

This morning I got going early and did the shopping and finally got a much needed haircut. Now I'm not in the mood for Illustrator or cooking and I'm tempted to say, aw screw it and panic about it later.

I read over my recipes and then decide.

The Plogical Song
We have something in our house that my husband calls plogic. It means Pam's logic. Or put another way, doing things my way. When my husband is feeling less than thrilled with the plogic he grumbles, "It's Pam's world, we just live in it."

It's not just that I'm bossy or control freaky. I am pathologically logical (are you allowed to put those two words together?) and am often frustrated/mystified/agog that the world does not share my vision of the best way of doing things.

I'm not this way about everything. For example, I have no input on things having to do with sports. But generally I think the best way to do things is the most efficient — I don't like to waste my or anyone else's time, money, or energy — so really exercising plogic is for the good of mankind.

The other day I was at the burrito cart (Fuego at 2nd and Yamhill for you locals, cheap burrito-y goodness) and an Asian woman came up and started to fill out the little sheet you use for your order. The guy always asks you wheat or flour so he can warm your tortilla while he finishes the order in front of you. When he asked her, she shook her head and said in broken English, that she didn't understand.

Before I could even think about it I jumped right in telling the guy how to make her burrito because I had a good idea how she would probably like it, not too spicy or with too much sour cream. And then I stopped myself because, omigod, I was being That Pushy Woman who bosses around random strangers.

In my defense, have you ever been in a situation where you weren't clear on the customs and ways and you kind-of wished someone else would just take charge for a minute? When I was a teenager my family went to France and it was time to eat. The waiter came over and said a bunch of stuff in French, a language we unfortunately do not speak. My Dad nodded and held up 4 fingers. The waiter knew exactly what to do. He brought us 4 drinks and 4 sandwiches which we ate with great joy. "Hey, look at us, ordering food in France."

Back in Portland, I pointed at my burrito and she ordered flour. English was not her native language, but she had a pretty good handle on it. The problem was she couldn't hear because of the traffic.

Things to Do Before You're 40
This morning I read a post that referred to a magazine list of things to do before you're 40.

It's too late for me but I was curious to see if I could find the list to see what I missed because there is nothing like assigning importance to random events and circumstances and giving them an arbitrary deadline.

I plugged the phrase into a search engine and turns out there are books and all kinds of people talking about these lists.

If you're under 40 and have a list, I'd say get on it and go for it because once I hit 40 I was too lazy to do anything. I have to be in bed by 9pm or I'm tired for a week. A hangover lasts at least three days. A weird muscle pull can annoy me for months. If I eat too much or stuff that's too fatty or preservative laden, I spend the night in roiling pain. It takes us a week to get organized enough to do dinner and a movie.

At this point I'm enjoying making a list of things I'm never going to do and am thrilled to avoid. I'm never going to climb a mountain, sail around on a frigate like Master and Commander, wait in line all night for anything, do space travel, observe a gnarly surgical procedure, gamble away my life savings, be on reality TV, win an Olympic medal, have a threesome (possibly negotiable) or study grizzly bears in their natural habitat. Whew. So liberating.

American Indian Heritage Month

When I enrolled at Clark College I filled out some form that asked my ethnicity and I put American Indian. Now I'm on the diversity mailing list and have gotten more mail than a person taking a single class for one quarter could possibly need.

I got a letter inviting me to try out for head dancer at the Clark College Pow Wow and when I told Bob, he said: "Cool. Are you going to do it?"

And I gave him a funny look because (a) I've never been a pow wow dancer, (b) pow wow isn't part of my tradition, and (c) I'm not even a dancer in my own tribe's tradition. Still, it was nice to be asked.

We went for Indian tacos before the pow wow and I was a little worried because there were only about 20 people and I thought, Oh no. Low turnout. My fears were unwarranted. The gym was more than half full. And those people are sad they missed out because the Indian tacos were awesome. I'll omit any discussion about the fry bread controversy since it's so yummy but if you're interested start here. Also there was a tiny riot when late in the night the frybread ran out.

I love pow wows. My first favorite part is grand entry. It starts with Indian veterans and there's always at least couple ancient elders, usually tiny, who stand so tall and so proud and are so completely confident and in charge. There is no way to watch without feeling a tug in your heart.

Last night was no exception. They followed grand entry with an hour of talking into microphones that sounded like the grownups on Charlie Brown. Everyone got to say something. Too bad most of it was unintelligible. This situation was made worse by all the dancers wearing bells on their shoes or jingle dresses and jumping around. I understood little except that this is part of a Title VII program — some sort of federal education funding and Indians.

They talked about Indian Heritage Month and read some sort of proclamation from President Bush. Possibly this. I like the part that goes, " ... we honor the generations of American Indians and Alaska Natives who have added to the character of our Nation." I sat in the bleachers and said, "added? Are you kidding me, added?" The person reading the proclamation said he was going to skip the part about money and I said, "Yeah, how about settling Cobell?" the Indian trust case that doesn't seem to have a chance of being settled. My dear husband encouraged me to relax and perhaps keep it down a bit

The MC was fantastic, as they usually are. He said, "We used to get just a day. Now, we get a whole month."

My second favorite part was the kid in the bleachers who danced during the opening songs, with a light saber.

My third favorite part was the tiny tots. Seven and under kids dancing is the cutest thing you've ever seen in your life. There was a little girl who looked like the Indian version of Little Miss Sunshine. I had my fingers crossed for a Super Freak moment.

Probably the highlight of the night was the drumline group of non-Indian sixth to eighth graders who set up their drums and joined the pow wow drum for a song. The first round didn't completely work but the second round they were on fire. But no dancers. The MC asked them to play again and asked the dancers to get out there. Some of them balked but he would have none of it. "Make something up," he said. At least half of them got out there and went for it. It was really, really cool.

The next dance was Intertribal and the MC called the drumline kids out and asked them to dance. A nice moment and when you think about it, this is what heritage month should be all about.

I know a lot of people worked hard to make last night happen so huge applause from me. Super fun time.

Tripendicular
This morning we woke up early and drove across town to the Bean Store. I'm sure Mr. Red Mill would be thrilled to know that he went to all the trouble of building a giant red building to sell his products and we still refer to it as the Bean Store. They serve a kick ass breakfast which is a huge motivator. I bought tons of legumes and breakfast grains and a couple of bags of flour. I'm trying a new recipe for Thanksgiving. I've got the test loaf going now.

I decided that not having a camera is making me crazy so I'm going to do something I never do and pull money out of savings and not do very much homework and march into a camera store downtown on Monday and buy something. i hope I'm not sitting here in 6 months and linking to this post and talking about what an idiot I am. I keep seeing great things that should have their pictures taken. Like Bob's side order of pancakes this morning. He got three different kinds and each one came on its own different colored plate. Or the vacuum cleaner the construction crew was using at the office had giant block letters on it that said: LOUD.

Don't you think that O.K. Go song "Here it goes again" sounds like a lost song from the Valley Girl soundtrack? (That's a huge good thing, by the way)

My beeper just went off and it's time to run out to the Clark College Pow Wow. Busy day.

Archives Update: : I fricked around with it for a little while earlier today and now most of the archives are working. I guess blogger gets tired after awhile and can't seem to muster the strength to republishing my entire blob. You get what you pay for.

The Test Kitchen
This week feels like it's gone on forever. I'm beat.

Wednesday's NYT Dining In had my favorite food porn type of article: perfect pie crust. You'd think after reading and clipping every article of this kind I've ever seen I'd be the reigning gold medalist in both the single and double pie crust events. But no, I haven't even been invited to try out for the team.

Pie lady made 5 pie crusts with various approaches to the fat part: 1 all butter, 1 all shortening and 3 with different amounts of both.

She said butter won hands down. Dang, I don't like butter crust. (I'm appalled, too but I like what I like.) I use the all shortening method which she says is popular because it's easier to handle. If that's easiest I guess I'd better to stick to what I'm doing.

Don't you think being a test cook would be a weird job?

Every time I read an article and they roasted 18 turkeys, or made 12 kinds of green bean salad or once it was bread pudding and I swear the article said they made 40 different kinds to find the perfect recipe, all I can think about is the stuff that didn't work. Do they give it to homeless shelters? Do they take it home to their families? Who had to taste and report on 40 different kinds of bread pudding? Do they throw lots away? Are they so sick of bread pudding by the end that they have the perfect recipe for a food they never want to see again in their lives?

I hate wasting food and I remember how awful I felt tossing a huge pan of carrot cake that I'd royally screwed up. I think I forgot half the flour and it was a soupy mess that nothing could save. It made a hollow whump! when it hit the bottom of the garbage can. I didn't make it again.

Pamily Values
Last night after I finished my delicious dinner of leftover soup washed down with two glasses of my favorite $6.99 Trader Joes Tempranillo the phone rang and you know the best calls always come around dinner time.

It sounded like a recording except the recording asked me questions so I'm not sure if it was a robot blend or the lady was just so filled with family values that she spoke without inflection.

She identified herself as being from the Dove Foundation which I had never heard of before. Then she started with something about families, kids, and concerned parents and grandparents. I almost cut her off right there because I have no children and was anxious to be excused from the call. But I let her go on because she was talking about how don't I think that measures for monitoring violence and adult content in entertainment aren't doing enough? (Note: I'm totally paraphrasing here, especially in favor of my side of the story.)

No, I said.

She went on into a longer speech making statements like, "We're not about censorship," and "Sure parents can be doing something in the home but that's not enough," and "We all know Hollywood won't make movies with our family values, don't you think we should do something about that?"

I behaved poorly because I laughed and said, You're crazy.

She told me her message was intended for concerned parents and grandparents and thanked me for my input.

I wish I'd had my act more together and could have stated my opinion more intelligently. If people want to get together and promote family entertainment, I have no problem with that. I have a big problem with someone calling my home and telling what to think and feel about a particular subject while making untrue statements and projecting a particular set of values on me. I'd love to write 10 more screens on this except, it's of limited interest and my writing time for today has long expired.

Five Things I Like to Cook (including baking)

1. Apple Pie.

Home baked apple pie is one of the best foods known to man. My struggles to make pie crust have been well documented (e.g. here, here and here. ) however, I do it anyway because no matter how badly it's patched together it always tastes and smells fantastic. I like mine still warm with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. I probably make at least 10 apple pies a year and it's one of my favorite things to bring to a function. No one ever says, "Bummer. Apple pie."

I use the Betty Crocker recipe from my Mom's cookbook and use unhealthy shortening in my crust. One of my tips is to use a mix of apples but at least half should be of a tart variety.

Yesterday on the radio a guy was talking about how he makes pies from scratch and he always wants to try other peoples pies to see how they measure up and so on. Another guy asked him what he means by scratch and he says he gets the pastry shell at the grocery store and then cuts and spices the fruit himself. This does not fit my definition of baking from scratch.

[Aside: while looking for pie stories I found I've already written about the futility of the Great Pumpkin. I have zero recollection of this. ]

2. Tamales.

I learned how to make these fairly recently. We have a friend from Mexico and I was hoping she would teach me but it never worked out and I had to take matters into my own hands. I read as many recipes as I could find in books and online and then went for it and it turned out to be labor intensive, but easy.

Now I've made them a bunch of times and can whip out a big batch without breaking a sweat. The corn masa bag has a recipe, too. I use real lard for the tamale and fill them with a mixture of cooked chicken, cheese, chiles and lots of spices.

They're super delicious with green salsa and perhaps a dab of sour cream. Great to freeze and serve later and a great gift. People love tamales.

3. Gumbo.

I use the Cooks Illustrated recipe and I would give you the date of the issue if I had it handy. It's pretty labor intensive so I have to want to spend most of the day in the kitchen. It has shrimp and sausage and all kinds of seasonings and is magically delicious. Unfortunately, this is one of the foods I ate leading up to the digestive system meltdown I had in April so now I'm afraid of it.

4. Bob's White Bean Chili and other Taco-ey Things.

Bob's white bean chili is a recipe I got from the Oregonian and is basically chili using chicken and white beans. But it's easy to make, great for leftovers and yummy every time. We do a lot of chili or taco type variations. We use regular tortillas or Safeway sells tortilla crowns which are taco salad bowls made out of corn. I use Penzeys Taco Seasoning, I just bought a ginormous bag, and ground turkey. The usual toppings: grated cheese, lettuce, onions, salsa, sour cream. If we're getting crazy we open a can of olives. My favorite food group.

5. Chocolate Chip Cookies

I've turned into a cookie snob and only like home baked cookies. A chocolate chip cookie is my favorite sweet. I make a batch every couple of weeks and put them in ziplock bags and freeze them and keep them at the office for an afternoon treat. I use the Toll House recipe or the Cooks Illustrated and use lots of nuts, pecans or walnuts, which I toast before I chop. One of my favorite foods.

Interim Update
I've started a wonderful post about things I like to cook except I was interrupted before I could finish and now I've got work to do so, hopefully, I can finish up tonight.

Meanwhile, three quick updates.

1. I believe my archive problems could be fixed by a quick blogger republish. Except everytime I hit the republish button (home, office, various browsers and times of day), I get a hanging screen followed by an error. Will investigate further someday.

2. Remember those banking calls I was avoiding? Turned out worse than I imagined. Will not bore you except to say, it is my opinion that you avoid doing business with Washington Mutual Financial Services. They're yucky.

3. I want to do handmade pasta for Thanksgiving but do not possess a pasta machine and didn't want to buy one until I tried it once. I sent out a call in the office thinking among all these women, someone would have one. No, no and no. I inquired in the lunchroom and Kent (resident forester guy) found one in his attic. Score!

Problem Alert
I just noticed my archives are forked up. Must have happened during the "upgrade." I can't deal with technical problems right now so resist the urge to look at archives right now.

Mythical Creatures: The Paradoxasaur

(If you believe in it, it doesn't exist, if you don't believe in it, it does.)

The show let out by 9:20pm which was perfect. We weren't the oldest people there. Other than old people there were young people and, of course, the requisite hipsters: the guy with the goofy knit hat with huge earflaps and lined with fur (what are those hats called?) which he wore during the entire show, the good looking jock type who walked up the aisle using his outside voice and big arm gestures to make sure we were all looking at him (I assured him we were) and the drunk loud can't-stop-talking chick also with the flapping arms who manages to find us and position herself near us at every event we attend. I can't stand this girl.

We must have done something terrible in a past life to be continually punished like this. Please girl, leave us alone. Tell us how we can appease you.

The beer line was long. Upstairs was the faint smell of Otto's jacket. The show was not sold out but well attended. About 5 minutes before curtain an endless stream of people came in and went to the front looking for seats. Why?

I don't know how to review a comedy show. There were two other comics on the bill with Demetri and they were all funny. The middle guy did a riff about losing your cellphone and not having any of your phone numbers and feeling alone. I'm probably the only person in America who writes all my phone numbers down, on paper, and then dials them in when I use the cellphone. I am by no means suggesting that this is an intelligent thing to do.

Demetri was hilarious and looks like he's about 12 years old. He played guitar, harmonica, little bells on the floor that you hit with your foot, tambourine and keyboard. Usually two or three at a time.

I'd love to sit here and make this post better but I have a few moments and I'm going to deal with that banking thing I was whining about yesterday.

Photos: Downtown Portland last spring when I was walking back from the doctor's office and have nothing to do with this post.


[Note to Blogger: my first impression is that this "upgrade" suxass and I fail to see what it improves.]

Stuck In A Rut
Today's special feature is original art. I'm still trying to learn Illustrator with more frustration than not. This reminds me of learning to play guitar a long time ago when I was in college. I'm trying, but it's taking me awhile and the results aren't much to look at. I'm still having fun, I just wish I could catch on a little easier.

I thought instead of grinding through tutorials I'd make something myself. I find I learn a lot when I have to figure it out rather than the book telling me what to do. Almost two hours later, ta da! I had to abandon my first effort because it got brown and when I shrunk it to proper size it looked turd-like and made me want to stick forks in my eyes.

Aside from Illustrator, I'm stuck in the biggest rut. I can't seem to move forward on anything. Little piddly chores go ignored. Paper accumulates. Dust bunnies peek out from the corners. Lists get stapled to other lists, or thrown away because that's easiest.

For example I have a banking matter thats probably going to involve at least 3 phone calls. All week long I think: Friday I will take care of this. But then Friday rolls around and I take care of a few other things and can't bear the idea of making numerous phone calls for this matter. So I think, well this week for sure. I will do this on my lunch hour. Or, I'll definitely take care of it before I go home. Now several weeks have gone by. The matter is unresolved and becoming time sensitive.

Yesterday we took advantage of the sunbreak to take a wonderful walk. I wish I would have had my camera (and that it worked) so I could have taken a picture of a huge sign someone put on a telephone pole: Jennifer: I LOVED You.

I didn't want to, but I worked outside and cut down most of the Dahlias and dug a small batch of bulbs, washed them and set them out in the garage to dry. I suppose I should carefully store them today so I don't run into mass-of-moldy-bulbs next spring.

We're going to see Demetri Martin tonight. Going out on a Sunday night is something I have a firm policy of never doing. We did last weekend because it was part of our lecture series and other than the biblical downpour when the lecture let out, it wasn't that bad. Demetri is a comedian from the Daily Show. I loved him the first time I saw him but it still took a bit of convincing before I agreed to it. Since I believe his target demographic is about half my age, you know, people who don't covet sleep as they should, it's seems a lot to hope for that I'll be in bed before 11pm. But maybe.

The Hot Cocoa Ceremony

Start with a your favorite large coffee mug and fill it with milk.

Pour the milk into a blender and add a heaping tablespoon of cocoa. I recommend Penzey's Dutch Process. Hershey's also works. Unsweetened is ideal because then you can sweeten to taste.

Next, add any or all of the following to the blender:
Pinch salt
Pinch Cayenne
Tiny splash of vanilla (careful on this because too much wrecks it)
Sugar. The cocoa is much tastier if it's not too sweet so don't be afraid to be stingy with the sugar.

Next, put the top on the blender, hold it down just to be safe, and hit any button. The speed isn't important. Once you're sure the lid is secure, you can step away from the blender and let it do its thing while you find a pan to heat your chocolatey treat.

When your cocoa is sufficiently frothy (use your judgment) turn off the blender and pour the mix into your pan. Heat at a low temperature and don't go into the other room to check your email and forget about it. Most people would prefer if it didn't boil. I like to stir with a whisk.

It's ready when you stick your finger in the mix and go, "ack, that's hot." Pour into your mug.

At this point you can add mini-marshmallows, a quick shaving of chocolate, a splash of adult beverage or anything else you think might be good. I know some people who like to add a tablespoon of flax seeds to the mix. I can see why this might be hard to sell to the public-at-large but you never know, try it.

Since you've spend this much time and gotten this many dishes dirty, you need to take the time to enjoy this cocoa. Sit down by the window and watch the wind and rain. Pull your sweater a little more tightly around your shoulders. Enjoy.

It's a Trap. The coupon is a Trap.
This morning I did something so completely stupid you'd think I don't pay attention to my own advice.

Based on a direct mail coupon, I made an appointment to get a "winter service special" for my car at the dealership. (01 Camry with 70K miles, so you have the details.) Today I took the car in.

You know what coupon means in car service? It means, "We must make up for the $4.99 you're going to save by finding at least $100 worth of other services to recommend."

DOH! This after reading on Consumerist that auto mechanics get paid on commission. Some in the 40% range. Sure, the article is referring to one particular business. We don't know if all auto mechanics work on commission. But it makes you think, eh?

I didn't have class today because of Veterans Day and this is the first Friday morning I've had since September so I had a ton of errands planned, including this car service which consists of an oil change, tire rotate, battery check, windshield wiper change (the selling point for me!) and something with fluids or hoses or whatever.

I made a 7:30am appointment thinking the drag ass out of bed early would be paid off when I was finished early and could have a fine morning of errand running. They said 1½ hours and I said no problem. Because I had tons of reading material with me.

Just like Murphy's Law on a plane, I had a guy sit down next to me who wanted to chat. But he was mildly entertaining and I listened to his stories. He was doing the same service as me.

2½ hours later we were both a little antsy. Why was this taking so long? We joked it was probably the coupon. The guy came out to talk to him about his truck first and as soon as he opened his mouth I realized that I totally was forked by the coupon. He had a laundry list of things that should probably be taken care of.

They called my name and I followed my guy into the screw-a-torium. $527 worth of recommended services, plus replacing the spark plugs, no price given and some sort of air filter thing which I said fine: whatever. May your stupid coupon at least pay for itself.

Two of the items were 60K mile services items. "But I had the 60K mile service," I protested. "Here?" the guy says.

No I did not. There is another dealership more convenient to my office so depending on what type of service I need and what my schedule is like, I switch back and forth. Apparently only the service I have at that dealership counts.

"No," I say, "Can't you tell by looking at it?"

"It doesn't look like it was done 10K ago." Is he covering his ass or did I not get this done? I don't know and now like Fox Mulder, I trust no one.

One item was a front brake replacement which I expected except he wanted to wheel and deal and I did not want to spend one more minute of my morning sitting there.

One item was a battery, which I expected because I have a 60-month battery that turned 60 several months ago. I've been keeping an eye on it. $120. Obviously I'm stupid but that sounded awfully steep for a battery. When I balked, he started wheeling and dealing again.

One item had to do with the fuel injection. Remember my bent-over-the-hood of my Toyota story from a couple of years ago? (scroll down to June 1 and work your way up) I have to doublecheck my records but I thought they replaced my whole fuel injector apparatus during that fiasco. Does it really need to be serviced again? Are the two issues even related? This guy didn't know jackcrap unless it was in his system.

Crap. I thought I was supposed to be able to trust the dealer.

Bob's going to take the car to Les Schwab for the battery (I'll report my savings here) and talk to them about the brakes. I'm going to look at my 60K service and see what they did. Crap. I hate car stuff.

But I LOVE my new windshield wipers.

Update: Bob got me a battery at Les Schwab for $72.