It is SO Rocket Science
Why can't I be a natural at something? Why can't something come easy to me?

I thought I hated removing wallpaper. I'm starting to think that was the fun part. This paint thing sucks ass.

I got my primer layer on. I made an incredible mess. I'm guessing primer can live with some sloppiness. How am I going to make the real color look good? How do you get in the corners? How do you make the brush marks look smooth? How do you keep from touching the smooth part you just painted? Will this paint ever come off my hands? Thank God I read those web tips that included: cover your hair.

What about that extender thing? I felt like I was an I Love Lucy episode, wonking that stick back into everything. Where was the conveyor belt with the cakes? I keep feeling like there's a hidden camera and I'm the entertainment for a painters convention in Miami. They can hardly get up from the floor they're laughing so hard.

The guy who sold me the Professional Paint Kit (why not the Paint Kit for Dummies?) said I could reuse that fuzzy paint roller cover thing. I think he was high. Isn't paint supposed to make you high? It's not working. The only thing keeping me going is the overwhelming desire to be finished. I'm going to the hardware store to buy about 100 of those fuzzy things and throw one away every half hour. And a smaller paint brush. The professional one isn't going to cut the detail work.

Meanwhile, I did end up getting desperate to plug in Frodo. Look at my amazing kitchen computer station. This is the most not-ergonomic set up ever. But I'm so desperate to avoid painting a few more minutes, I had to fill you in on the latest.