Intermittently
I thought the weatherman said it was going to rain yesterday so I left my poor garden gasping without water another day. Then we had about three drops and I figured the weatherman didn't know what he was doing and when I got home last night I gave them a good splash. Now it's raining. How can I market this talent?

Isn't it funny when you've been using something for years and years and you just discover something new about it? I just learned, as of Memorial Day weekend, that the "intermittent" selection on windshield wipers can be adjusted to different speeds.

I'm a little nutty about windshield wipers. I like my windshield wiped but I don't like the sound of the wipers. [Why is this sounding like I'm writing about something else with clever euphemisms?] This is mostly when it isn't raining very hard. When it's pouring I just want to get where I'm going in one piece, I'm not focused on the schwimp-schwump sound of the wipers.

On Memorial Day I was driving my dear husband's car and there must have been a light mist going on and I had the intermittent wipers going but they weren't intermittent at all, they were just on. So I kept turning them off and then I'd get coated with mist and I'd turn them back on and they'd be going back and forth not-intermittently so I'd turn them back off.

"This car is stupid," I thought and I looked at the knob or dial or whatever you call it and I noticed "hi" and "lo" and gave it a twist and, Whoa! The wipers schwumped intermittently. Technology is amazing.