Important Membership Information
I've been a notary public in the state of Oregon since 1992. Only because of work and my special services are rarely needed. I'm only on page 7 of my 90 page "Journal of Notarial Acts." I haven't notarized anything since July of 2007.

I'm not trying to drum up business if that's what you're thinking. I don't charge anyway.

I'm bringing this up because I received a solicitation to join the National Notary Association this week. For $52 here are the fabulous things I get:

A bonus gift. An Oregon Notary Law Primer - "124 pages of hard-to-find information every Notary needs to know." Every four years when I renew my notary commission, the State of Oregon sends me a heavily padded "Notary Public Guide" that is 88 pages long including the index.

What hard-to-find information could these 124 pages possibly hold?

My membership also includes unlimited toll-free hotline support. Answers to all my notary questions. Why bother with the Oregon Law Primer?

Monthly updates – a magazine and a newspaper because you know, I'm always sitting around wishing I had more stupid stuff to read.

Also: a website with members-only forum, advocacy to protect my notary interests, identity theft insurance and discounts to the usual (vague reference to insurance, DHL, Hertz).

I would make a crack about how I wouldn't mind if they had a national conference I could go to. But they do have a national conference and if someone paid my way I would not spend one minute conferencing. I would sit by the pool and I wouldn't miss anything.